Bankai will heal! Please guide me through it!

[Bankai9000]

Hey guys,
I'm a 29 year old male and took just ONE DOSE of 0,25mg Finasteride 3 days ago. My body had a severe reaction to it and I got absolutely fukd and I'm just trying to find someone to help since I don't know what to do at all. I used Cdsnuts as registration member because it's the only one I heard on propeciahelp and got reminded of this forum on youtube so here I am! Don't know if I should share here or wherever, but Id appreciate any help/advise here. I will just try to provide as much random information I can.

I got pre-fin bloodtests on the same day I took fin(incase this might help). Took fin 3 days ago and only ONE FREAKING DOSE of 0,25mg. But yea my body completely BUSTED. I know it's early but I'd rather take advise now since I've 0 idea what the hell to do.
So storytime.
Took it at around 13 o clock, felt really good. Was out socializing and came back home at around 18 o clock. Was looking at some hot pictures and got an instant boner as usual. An hour later fapped with no problems. The weird thing is my penis stayed errect for WAY longer than usual after ejaculating. It was weird but I didnt care. Tried again around 22 o clock and just couldnt get it up AT ALL, like not even 10% errect.

At the same night I had then extreme heartrace(never experienced heartrace even in stressful stiuations prior..) while just laying in my bed for several hours and insomnia. The next day my head felt like hit by a brick. Had extreme dry mouth and very frequent urination. Was in the gym (hoped to get maybe test up..) and had like 0 salviaproduction. Now I've heard that was probably not the best idea.

The next night I couldn't sleep for longer than 1-2 hours at a time, never had problems to sleep through a night before. Yesterday I took 3mg of melantolin and slept probably for 7-8hours, but still waking up every 2 hours and falling fast back asleep. My headache is way less then the day before but still appearent and my head"pressure" almost faded (I literally had to yawn every 5min to release pressure from my ears).
I feel like puking after eating(especially fatty foods I noticed, fruits seem to be allright aswell as greens) and experience weird intervals of no hunger, hunger -> eating -> feeling like I need to puke and breaking out in sweats.

I don't care about most of these symptoms, I can hide all of that, but I still have 0 connection to my bottom side and it's freaking me out. It's been 3 days, it says online serum dht suppresion can happen to 5-9 days. But from my understanding the dht suppression of 0,25mg is not that big of a deal anyway and I fear I'm damaged for life. I've never had any errection problems prior and could get it up after nomatter what. And now I can't even get 10% errect lying in my bed for 30min trying.

Some symptoms got better, frequent urination stopped, dry mouth got way better. Head hurts but not THAT much anymore. Libido got like 20% back and makes me even more appearent that bottom side has no reaction to it..

I'm actually really freakin desperate, getting treated everywhere like a nutjob and on BB forums my posts just get deleted. I live in Poland but do speak German aswell (if this matters, been raised there). I'm willing even to travel anywhere and pay to receive help lol.

I know I'm early but I fear if I don't do anything the chances for recovery might be less and less and following tipps from people who know better seems just right. Please guys I want freaking kids and a familiy and this is just not something I can handle for too long xD. So any advise what to do already now while "waiting" is highly appreciated.

recap
1st day:
- extreme HEARTRACE for like 6 hours
- sweats through the whole night
- superintense headache
- complete impotence, 0 sensation 0 libido, rubberdick way smaller than usual
- urination literally every 20minutes for the whole night
- insomnia couldnt sleep for more than 30min first night
- head felt like burning 24/7
- hearing impaired and disorientation
- complete apathy to literally everything, aswell as my own reflection or even looking at my hands felt weird
- head felt like hit by a brick in the back for 2 full days

I was supplementing the last days with various adrenal supporting supps, garlic, d3 and k2, some zinc and melantonin before night to get me one night of sleep. Aswell as eating cruciferious foods to maybe counter too high estrogen, definitely have it cuz I feel breasttenderness 24/7. Was fasting for like 15/9. And idc if it sounds weird but I feel FAT, and I'm not that fat(Maybe 15% bf), it's like instead of my dik I feel all my fatdeposits. Barely can eat fatty foods(not even eggs), make me almost puke. Fruits, coffee, meat seem ok. Juices or other either highsugar or refined carbs are a nogo tho.

3rd day
- head still hot
- brainpressure 50% down
- brainfog 70% down
- headache like 60% down
- heartrace 80% down
- sweats 80% down but reoccur sometimes after eating
- my mouth started to produce salvia again
- frequent urination almost nonexistent
- penis burning sensation from the inside
- I slept on the 2/3 night with melantonin for like 7hours, still waking up consistent every 2h tho
- ballache went away yesterday and came back today (right testicle), doesnt seem too severe but yeh.. it's there..
- breast tenderness all the fkin time
- cold hands
- hot head
- libido is like 40% back and seems to fluctuate, was extreme when I was outside talking to girls today (like 80%), but still fullblown ED 0 reaction bottomside.. and now like 6 hours later complete 0 again
- aggressiveness came back a little and the whole manlyfeeling
- cold hands
- still fullblown impotence, 0 boners and cant achieve one at all, not even 10%. I can MAYBE go to like 10% if I keep doing mechanical stimulation, but thats it.

Ok thank you for reading all of this.
Any advice what I should eat or not or avoid or do is extremely appreciated. Even talking to me is guys xd
I'm not sure if I should avoid gym for now, or actually do pushups every hour or so. I cant find any consensus what to do.

[Bankai9000]

Guys I know, I shouldn't spam.. I've read the whole protocol and the whole page. I try to ingest as much information I can right now. But still being pretty alone with this is frightening, I don't expect huge backflash but maybe some small words or guideance I'd be really grateful for... am not quite sure when the earliest is that I can try the protocol, I still feel big hormone fluctuations right now and am not sure if going already for it would be more beneficial or worse. It's still early and maybe I should just chill but I feel I should be doing something already and not waiting till it "manifests".

day4 recap: (I hope I can keep a log like this.. it just feels good to write stuff out.., if it's innapropiate please tell me)
- extreme headache after waking up for like 1h (literally 10/10 pain again..), slept like like 7hours total today and pain dissappears mostly after 1h but backheadache still stays 24/7
- BREAST TENDERNESS got BETTER, it's still there but not AS strong
- on the same time I FEEL some of my musclesoreness!!! which i didnt feel at all for the last 3 days, did heavy squatting 1day after crash and usually i wouldnt be able to walk without pain for 3-4days but didnt feel ANY soreness for the first 3 days. muscles feel is like 10% back. Means probably my estrogen lowered a little bit. Felt my backpain a little today! was noappearent last 3 days aswell, and I have it for like 7-8 months and usually is there 24/7.
- I ACTUALLY GOT MORNING WOOD TODAY, but 0 feel in my dick and no way to hold the errection.. 0 chance to induce one myself aswell ;/
- libido almost nonexistent, like 10% today, the knowledge of nodick might be reason for it too. Pretty sure I can induce some libido by forcing sexy thoughts into my brain
- very calm throughout most of the day
- evening a lot of shakiness and heartrace, heart is beating and hands are shaking as Im writing this
- yesterday night heartrace very strong again..
- at morning sweats again
- extreme negative worldview after waking up, very depressive thoughts which lifted after eating one freaking orange..
funny how before I could fap 5x a day drink a bottle of vodka eat shit fap more and nothing bothered my body, now I eat an orange and my whole worldview shifts xd
- brainfog almost gone
- pretty positive throughout most of day
- no more cold hands
- head still hot
- again whole body sweating after eating fatty foods..
really scared shitless with the impotence.. ;/
k dats all I guess...

And thank you all for this here, it's so amazing to find a group of people who try to stay positive on that whole stuff!

[xxaleksi]

Have you crashed yet? If you took fin only three or four days ago you're probably just experiencing fin sides and not pfs. I had a pretty bad reaction to fin but I didn't crash until two months later.

Imo you should just do your best to relax and let your body sort itself out. If you crash and get pfs, trust me you'll know....so just relax man.

[Bankai9000]

100% crash, I'm VERY sure.

[xxaleksi]

100% crash, I'm VERY sure.

Alright then imo start the protocol as soon as possible.

I'm almost 7 months post crash now (almost 4 months on protocol) and I'm doing a lot better. I even had some symptoms I'd never heard of before with pfs.

I know the beginning is really scary but you gotta just hang in there and do the protocol to the T. Good luck man.

[Bankai9000]

Jado
I'll answer here in hope you see it to not get into your thread there too much^^
Thank you a lot man! My body literally automatically did most of this like instantly. After crash fasted for 25h, cold shower in the morning and only edible food were fruits. Pretty funny now to read that I should most of that stuff haha
I seem to do slightly better every day so I'll try to keep up IF, fruit intake and only foods from the list!
xxaleksi
I will try to give it 1-2 days and see from there! Will try tho as said IF and starting out with fruits after 16h, cold showers, breathing and meditation are alrdy incorporated! I'm staying positive throughout 90% of the day (evenings are rough). This whole community is literally helping me SO FREAKING MUCH to stay positive and I'm so grateful for all of you guys here. It's amazing to hear about people recoveries and amazing you're doing better by the day!
Thanks Cdsnuts for the whole protocol and effort put in!
And yea I probably didn't hear about 95% of the symptoms that hit me XD

I actually slept for 5hours straight today (1st time!) so this seems to get better!! (But I took melantonin..)
And I started to have SOME feeling down there by touching (OMFG, it's still like 10% max..), got morning wood today 90% prefin state but yeh.. still maybe like 5% reaction from brain to bottom.. so no chance for induced errection, but it's SOMETHING and it's enough to keep me happy af throughout the day! Some symptoms are lifting some stayed, especially the head after waking up is absolutely disgusting. Can't even say I felt such pain before in my whole life as to waking up right now lol with this headpain. It lifts tho after 1hour being awake. And had weirdly strong (bad)body odor today, dk if that's a good or a bad sign. Will try to focus more on sleep. Going to the gym rn. and fighting dis shiet! Thanks a lot everyone!

[Bankai9000]

Just wanted to give a quick update.
I'm recovering like a truck!
You guys literally saved my life.
Can't thank you enough Cdsnuts. There was nothing I needed more to keep my mind positive(and me alive..) than HOPE. And that's what you all gave me!
I trained, fasted, cold showered and veggijuiced every single day since the 2nd day of this fullblown crash shit.
My life is very stressful and yet I managed to keep all stress away for almost 2weeks and keep up with everything. I had one stressful day which made me neaely go back to day 1 almost peeing and poopin myself with fukd mental sides. Just reminded me how this is no joke.
I expect to be healed in a month and I got nothing but gratefulness. I beat PFS before it took over my homeostasis and I've no words for this.
I'm very sure I benefited tremendously from taking action on the 2nd day when I was a fullblown impotent unfeeling not able-to-eat zombie and started pushing through it!
This is just a thank you and I will do a bigger more detailed post when I come back from my business trip next week.

[Bankai9000]

Ups deleted this by accident XD
Here we go again kek
As good as I felt yesterday as awful I am today. I know all you guys live your lifes and I don't expect handholding, it's been hard for every single one of you and I really try not to spam here...
But god it feels so alone with this shit and my mind is playing mental shiet with me.
I kept the diet and exercise since day2 of the crash. I failed twice after feeling better and going out after the inital shock (prpb done good on my mental state tho) and it won't happen anymore.

And I''ve not crashed prob on that one dose.
I've taken a 2% keto shampoo for like 8 years and an anti-dht topical serum 2x a day for 4months prior crash and an anti-dht shampoo for like a year. The findose was probably what tipped me over the edge, I was just blind to the other sides since they weren't limiting sexually.

I've come sooo far from 2weeks ago, yesyes I know some here have fought it for years, still every day feels like an eternity with this and the fear of furthershit is SO ROUGH. I thought I got over the worst but that's not true.
My mental sides lifted extremely which is a blessing since I can normally function again, these were by far the worst. Ah all of them were awful. My heart stopped killing me and my genital-anhedonia lifted like 70%(couldnt even feel it with a dermaroller on day4LOL). My skinanhedonia over the whole body dissappeared completely even! I am able to achieve semistrong errections again with stimulation, but barely on my own. Morningwoods wary and seem to be dependent if I masturbate the day prior. Braindikk is like 30% tho from 0% which is amazing aswell.
I started sweating again and 2days ago finally got muscle soreness back.

But my biggest fear I cant shake now is my skin. My beard seems patchy and my hairloss went in absolute overdrive.
But Idc about those, but I aged in the last 2 weeks like 5years on my face and it's getting really fkin worse every single day. My skin isn't even dry, it feels "good" but I got eyewrinkles from my eyes through cheeks up to my mouth. How tf am I going to fix this, or tackle it... It's so fkin scary and it fuks crazy with my mind now..
And I'm peeing only clear.. as if my body isnt fkim absorbing anything. I'm not even drinking much. Prob like 1.5l a day. Maybe there's just soo much water in the greens? But still even after waking up it's like 98% crystal clear for days now.. ;/

I keep the healthy diet and lifestyle, and sorry for venting. I got banned on PPH (kinda good), cuz I told a guy who said to me that getting healthy with diet/sleep/exercise is just a fairy tail, to f***off. I shouldn't have gone over there from the frekin start, but at least I found you guys and Chi's story.
The whole sitdown and wait attitude is disgusting and something I despised my whole life in people.
I'm back from my business trip at wednesday and will get bloodtests and start a water fast for a week asap. Or 5 days water and 3 days juice. With 1-2days prior dietwise to get into ketosis prefast.

I want to get into herb cycling but I seem too stupid to find an outline. I can afford like 7 in the beginning and add more throughout, but noway to get them all right from the bat. Which 7 should I get first?
My biggest problems are(just lining out incase this helps..)
1. skinaging (and gums seem to get fucked too not sure..)
2. Sleep
3. Errections
4. Stress, too strong heartbeat/cortisol
5. Anxiety maybe due to all of this shit
I will read into every single herb myself of course. But I'm spending daily up to 3h reading and it's burning my brain which just makes me worse with all of this. The first 10days felt like I was in a huge adrenaline rush, as if nothing of this was real. If it wouldn't be for my bent&twisted cock and face I'd prob try to convince myself that nothing of this ever happened.

I really would appreciate any guidance. Even if som1 wants to talk me through it a little on whatsapp(msg me) would make my week(or life..). Or Bankai9000 on skype^^
Cheers guys

Ah and incase stuff I'm taking.
I'm on phone the whole time >. <
These are often very small doses, didnt want to create crazy unbalanced in weak state.
Ashwaganda 360mg
Amla berry 150
Camu camu 150mg
Grass fed beef liver extract 120mg
Acerola Cherry 150mg
Pantethine 105mg
Grassfed dessicatef adrenal 600mg
Zinc chelate 6mg
Manganese lactate 45mg
Copper amino acid chelatr 0.9mg
Licorice root 300mg

Before bed.
Niacin18mg
Fotirootextract 238mg
L-theanine 100mg
Tryptophan 100mg
Dmae 25mg
GABA 25mg
Rehmannia 25mg
L-glutamibe 25mg
Choline 4mf
Adrenal Bovine 4mg
Anterior pizuitary Bovine 0.5mg

Zinc 10mg
Melatonin 3mg

After 10 days added during day
L-Carnitin 500mg
Arginin1g
Q10
Fishoil +vite
Vit d3+k2
Vit C
Garlic
Rotating these daily since they have added various B, Magnesium or D vitamins in them. Trying not to exceed 100-150% daily rec. doses with supplements.

In addition whey shake after training and teas like chamonille or weak herbal ones promoting gut/prostate health.
Microbiome promoting yoghurts.
Diet clean af. Varying daily dark leafy greens, asparagus etc., varying fruits but stopped using so many now. Some milk. Some coffee. Good fresh proteinsources and eggs. Olive+cocon oils.
After the crash I couldnt handle going without fructose, which seems to be 1. Bad for adrenal health if too much, but on the same time needed/calming for stress in the body. My mood stopped yesterday having crazy jumps in aggressiveness/depressiveness etc.
But yeh today depressiveness kinda hit when I did the post so idk XD
Got a strong blender which shreds everything which comes in handy af. Daily sunlight to skin and boyos. K gonna keep up teh fight now thank you if som1 read the vent ��

[basementdweller]

you're taking too much stuff, if you want to try stuff outside the protocol I would do it one supp at a time and experiment with dosage. 18 mg of niacin for example is pointless, I take a gram of niacinamide to feel the effects

[Bankai9000]

basementdweller
Yea it seems much, but these are actually 3-4supps a day packed into each other. 
1 is a adrenal support and the other a sleep aid with some adrenal soothing stuff which have most of them^^
And you're right about the feeling of the effects. I'm not neccessary trying to feel better after a day/dose and just trying to give my body a good environment to heal itself. I'm a little reluctant yet to throw something in which might lead to unbalances in my body at the moment (not talking bout the herbs, just random supps). Hoping to get better in the longrun and looking at the big picture. Will start with herbs awhile after the fast.

[Durantia37]

Don't ingest any supplements that aren't on the protocol. No add-ons are necessary, but a ton of them are counter-productive.

You seem fairly manic. Do yourself a favor and slowww down. You've clearly crashed, but in the first stages you might have delusional days where you swing all the way back up and think you're healed. So it's important to ignore your thoughts and symptoms and just get going with the whole protocol. Fast ASAP, and read through the protocol several times during the fast.

[Bankai9000]

It's really good to hear that said out loud Durantia37 . After 2weeks I felt so good compared to aftercrash that I went twice and ate shitfood and socialized. Just now I know that I felt way from normal lol, but I felt too confident. Now I'm back on track 100%. Crying bout the sides won't help me anyway.. still sometimes helps to throw it out to get over it can't lie xd.
I've one stressful workday on tuesday and after it I will manage to hold my work stressfree and hit this shiet with a waterfast.

[entropy]

Calm the fuck down, Bankai. You absolutely need to relax, your cortisol is probably through the roof right now.

I'm not sure water fasting is always necessarily the right thing to do so early on in this whole process, you sound incredibly stressed and I feel like water fasting should be approached in a much more peaceful mindspace.

I just want you to know that this swinging back and forth you're experiencing is a fantastic sign of recovery. It's disheartening but I had several downswings that were always followed by my highest points (during that period of my life) and then another slightly higher downswing.

[Bankai9000]

Allright I just deleted my whining pussyass-comment.
I just took a minutelong coldshower and am ready to fight this shit!
Thank you entropy for the comment it really helped me to get through the night!

Got questions tho!
What's the general advice on fixing sleepissues? Ashwaganda at night?
My heart is calm even if stressed during the day, but pounding af when I'm laying relaxed in my bed. And I tend to wake up always at 1 o'clock superawake. After I seem not to get good sleep afterwards.
I went some days after 1am and seem to be able to sleep then for 5-6h. But I can't always sleep to 10am xd.
And I seem to be really hungry now after the initial crash, was debating to maybe stick to the protocol with fruits as carbbackloading cuz I seem to crave fructose extremely(and dairy somehow, not eating it tho).
But today is the first day my stomach is making weird noises(kinda like these early schooldays when it happened when everyonewas quiet XD), so I guess fasting it is!

[Bankai9000]

And I'm absolutely sorry to be that guy.. but has anyone here recovered from collagen breakup..? it's killing me inside.. my face is oily and is hydrated. But my whole skin on my whole body is getting totally wrecked and especially on my face/hands. It's like my body is eating up the collagen and I'm scared shitless.. I aged 5years in 2 weeks, if this keeps for a full more month I will look older than my dad.. even know it's already worse in some aspects..
The only guy with the same I found is "pageidol" and he didn't seem to be able to fight it.. I'm broken :/ just fuck

[Maxout777]

And I'm absolutely sorry to be that guy.. but has anyone here recovered from collagen breakup..? it's killing me inside.. my face is oily and is hydrated. But my whole skin on my whole body is getting totally wrecked and especially on my face/hands. It's like my body is eating up the collagen and I'm scared shitless.. I aged 5years in 2 weeks, if this keeps for a full more month I will look older than my dad.. even know it's already worse in some aspects..
The only guy with the same I found is "pageidol" and he didn't seem to be able to fight it.. I'm broken :/ just fuck

Stop asking these questions. Completely pointless and contradicting to the mindset you need to find to beat this.

I had horrible collagen loss. I looked like I aged ten years over night. I now look younger than most of my friends by five years, and we’re the same age. Was on vacation the last week and a woman at the pool asked our ages and thought I was no older than 23. I’m 30.

[entropy]

I'm thirty this year and people are consistently shocked I look so young. I looked horrific for a while, you'd be surprised at what weeks of insufficient sleep can do to human being.
You really need to quiet your mind bud. Meditation is actually really useful for this.

[Bankai9000]

Thank you guys it means a lot! I don't have a "tired look" tho :/, I've tried to avoid most stressors for 2 weeks and I've like 2 face markers which always got worse during periods where I didn't sleep (cuz going late etc.) And these "markers" look good, it's like my pores are fkin blasting up, almost look like a cat with them on my cheecks now(where u usually don't get lines pre60 or so..), but u guys still are helping a lot!!
Bottomside is worse tho since 2-3days..:/
I'm fasted now for 36h and I woke up again like 8times during the night.
But I dreamed something and started to feel tired at 5am, which is amazing since I haven't really felt "tiredness" for the last 2weeks. I wake up all the time superawake and wired instantly and with a huge heartrate at night. Which just doesnt correspond to my state of mind.. slowly thinking to maybe to try to sleep at day cuz my heartrate is always low there..
Keeping the fast for 5-7days and then adding some juicedays. Keeping integrated all of the protocol.

[Bankai9000]

I've decided for these herbs.
1. Pine Pollen Power of course :D
2. Schisandra extract
3. Mucuna extract
4. Lions Mane organic dual extract
5. He Shou Wu Extract
6. Cordyceps Militaris Organic
7. Cistanche
I got some Ashwaganda already which I'm taking.

Main problems I have.
- Heart race at night and too high overall, very shallow sleep
- ED, braindikkconnection 10%
- skin is gettin fakd on whole body
just saying it again so maybe someone can throw in what I should skip or take from these herbs. I can probably get more as time goes by, but that would be it for the start^^

Are there problems to get it to Europe? And how close after the fast should I start with the rotation^^

And my freakin pee is slightly yellowish again today! :D, peeing fkin clear for almost 3 weeks made me anxious af. As if my body wouldn't take in ANY nutrients at all.

[jacknap]

Stop asking these questions. Completely pointless and contradicting to the mindset you need to find to beat this.

I had horrible collagen loss. I looked like I aged ten years over night. I now look younger than most of my friends by five years, and we’re the same age. Was on vacation the last week and a woman at the pool asked our ages and thought I was no older than 23. I’m 30.

I had one girl think I was 21 (I'm turning 29 in August). I had a girlfriend who was 18 too (open relationship but just broke a month ago but have a new one who's 19).

I still have dark eye circles though and a lot of grey hair from the insomnia. My sleep is pretty good nowadayz but still not always as restful as it used to be even on protocol sometimes but like 90%. Whenever I go to the club the girls I go with and they're brutally honest with often tell me I'm the best looking on there.

Also one I was at the worst of PFS my friends told me I looked terrible they though I was abusing hardcore drugs like cocaine and shit lol

gbolduev acftually explains a lot of the reasons why things happen for people PFS eg) penis shrinkage a lot of it is because coritisol is sky high. when you're fight or flight the dick literally retracts up lmao. it's not permanent though. my dick shrank, my balls shrank, my face became moon face, my dick couldn't get fully hard, I'd have panic attacks, couldn't sleep longer then 2 hours a night (first like month of crashing), insane anhedonia, complete anhedonia, crippling depression, lost all self confidence pretty much all back and then some.

and yeah in some ways I'm better then I was before. My face feels inflamed a bit still though and sometimes brain dick connection feels off but I think it also just might be cuz I'm so used to thinking about symptoms. I don't think I monitored how my face felt and dick felt before PFS as much.

[Bankai9000]

jacknap
So nice to hear man. I'm actually one of those guys hitting it most of the time with way younger girls aswell. That's what let me into this freaking drug due to my hairloss. Now I don't give 2 shiets about it anymore, I'm the freaking best with or without it. And I know now that they don't fakin care anyway, what an idiot I was going down that route. Fak Reddit with all these success stories XD Funny thing is I was actually regrowing hair with the dht serum and good lifestyle, and this led me to think that with bit more fin I can actually get A LOT back lol.
Actually had a date for 3 hours 5days after crash with a girl who came to see me 400km XDDD. 21year old (me 29) who went from being a 6/10 to a 8/10 within a year and I had to fake interest since I was so fucked there. Most of my mind was going like "look how hot she is, GET A BONER MAN" going round and round for 3hours ahahaha. And of course nothing reacted XD. Now I don't know if she will ever talk to me again or actually let me do whatever I want when I hit her up when I be healthy again haha.
And I got 3young ones lined up for summer, but now I'm like bit stressed about not being able to do anything. Especially hard to not be the fun drunk energyloaded playful asshole you know ;/ Don't even wanna think about that XD. Really would like to heal without using cialis/viagra for now, but I guess there's no other way lol. But thinking about them actually motivates the shiet of me. Still no idea how to not drink at all over the whole summer XD I'm in Poland, people here get seriously offended if you don't take 1-2 drinks XD
And my parents man, no way I can be miserable, fkin sacrificed their life for moi!

And just thank you all again and again haha! You're all freaking right, I'm totally done with the whining. Yesterday thanks to all of you guys from Swole my mind completely had a turnaround. I mean my skin is getting fakd, one of the nr1 reasons for skindamage is actually cortisol right, so the more I worry the worse it will get XD And the more vitamin unbalances it will cause.
So now I got the mindset that I really don't want this shiet to get worse, and I stopped worrying! XD Like 100%, I'm actually excited to win this battle :D!

I feel absolutely great, was laying yesterday in bed first time in awhile completely not obsessing about ANYTHING. Just enjoying the peace of mind. Got a forest close to me and after waking up I'm going deep in there and doing the breathing exercises. Literally reduces the headburn I have by like 70%.
And yesterday, I put on some heartregulaging youtube vid on (might be placebo af), but it seemed to help me a lot after an hour or so. My heart is beating so strong at night it's moving my whole fkin body. But I measured my puls at evening and it's not too bad. Gotta check it at night today when my heart beats crazy. Seems to be hypotension, low bloodpressure making the heart work overtime. Which seems to be somewhat fixable with diet and training.
The symptoms from PFS are so mimicking to strong insulinresistence, liver damage, adrenal fatigue, thyroid issues, low bloodpressure and too high cortisol. Which honestly all are tackleable so I'm freaking HYPED to finish the fast and start my new healthy life focusing on each of these with the protocol!

It's day 3 of the fast and I feel great, a bit weak but overall good. And felt the first time real horniness now again! XD Even got a 50%boner at morning today which I haven't seen for a long time now. Braindikk rised to like 10%! W00t :D

Edit: And I added Shilajit to teh list! So we got 8 herbs, 7 to rotate and gonna use the Pine Pollen more often throughout :D! SO STOCKED YASS :D
Gonna do a hairtest too soon too see what foods I should maybe avoid or more incorporate on the diet aswell as bloodtests to see where I am with most of my stuff. After that I stop thinking about all of this and hope routine will just take over completely! ^^

[basementdweller]

I've decided for these herbs.
1. Pine Pollen Power of course :D
2. Schisandra extract
3. Mucuna extract
4. Lions Mane organic dual extract
5. He Shou Wu Extract
6. Cordyceps Militaris Organic
7. Cistanche
I got some Ashwaganda already which I'm taking.

Main problems I have.
- Heart race at night and too high overall, very shallow sleep
- ED, braindikkconnection 10%
- skin is gettin fakd on whole body
just saying it again so maybe someone can throw in what I should skip or take from these herbs. I can probably get more as time goes by, but that would be it for the start^^

Are there problems to get it to Europe? And how close after the fast should I start with the rotation^^

And my freakin pee is slightly yellowish again today! :D, peeing fkin clear for almost 3 weeks made me anxious af. As if my body wouldn't take in ANY nutrients at all.

dude, just a heads up that lion's mane IS a 5ar inhibitor. Not as strong as reishi mushrooms but enough that people have felt side effects from it. I started a thread about it awhile back on here

[Bankai9000]

Omg nooooooooo I didn't knoooow! XDD Shitee haha, I'll skip it then maybe in the beginning and introduce veryyy small doses once every week or so. I mean this freakin body got to learn not to crash anyway I HOPE xD
Thanks for the headup so I don't end up maybe trying a bigger dose way lateron and then leading to problems^^!

[Bankai9000]

Day 5/6 of the water-fast and did semichill work for 7h. Now I'm soo energyless I feel like barely getting out of bed. And when I close my eyes I'm seeing chocolate with nuts and chocolate cookies everywhere. I was always eating shortcarbs way more than I should, but never really crazy craving chocolate. Now it's all my mind is thinking off XDD
I'm literally getting vivid pictures infront my eyes when I close them for hours now ahaha
Hope this means sum shitty bacteria is dying out or so! Gonna do it for 7days and gonna start with the juice feast.
Slept for full 7h or so today. Finally!! Feels even as there is some deep sleep!
I'm planning to do 7 water, then 7 juice feast with IF, but mix 1-2days of vegetable/bone broth into that week. And then refeed.
I would go way longer, but I live in a tourist place and summer is knocking on the door and am afraid I will get into a situation where I just have to socially eat or take 1 shot for the sake of not crazy acting out.
Will do waterfasts after summer for like 5days prob 3-5x a year. Funny how such a crazy crash has to show us first how valueable our body is and that the small decisions add up so much for really good health! Hypeeed!

[Cdsnuts]

Day 5/6 of the water-fast and did semichill work for 7h. Now I'm soo energyless I feel like barely getting out of bed. And when I close my eyes I'm seeing chocolate with nuts and chocolate cookies everywhere. I was always eating shortcarbs way more than I should, but never really crazy craving chocolate. Now it's all my mind is thinking off XDD
I'm literally getting vivid pictures infront my eyes when I close them for hours now ahaha
Hope this means sum shitty bacteria is dying out or so! Gonna do it for 7days and gonna start with the juice feast.
Slept for full 7h or so today. Finally!! Feels even as there is some deep sleep!
I'm planning to do 7 water, then 7 juice feast with IF, but mix 1-2days of vegetable/bone broth into that week. And then refeed.
I would go way longer, but I live in a tourist place and summer is knocking on the door and am afraid I will get into a situation where I just have to socially eat or take 1 shot for the sake of not crazy acting out.
Will do waterfasts after summer for like 5days prob 3-5x a year. Funny how such a crazy crash has to show us first how valueable our body is and that the small decisions add up so much for really good health! Hypeeed!

You don't have to socially eat or take shots. You make that call, not anyone else.

And why would you do five day water fasts five times a year?

Guys.....I've noticed a bunch of new comers here that clearly are just making up their own way based on.....well shit, who fucking knows what they're basing it on, but it's WRONG.

For all you newbies:

READ ALL THE STICKIES........all of them.

[Bankai9000]

Thought it's good to clean the system once in awhile after all this mess.
But allright CD, will stick to the protocol!!

Something I gotta ask tho, some himalayan pink salt during the water-fast ok?

[LetsGo]

I would just stick with the water fast protocol as-written, I wouldn't get fancy with it and add pink salt. Your body has enough electrolytes in it to do the fast without adding salt, and you should let your body cleanse itself of any excess salt it has from your diet.

[Bankai9000]

Yap agree!
It's almost day 7 of the water fast and god I'm so lifeless today, 0 energy XD. My mind shifted from cookies to dreaming of the juice feast XD
Mentally I'm great. Skin is getting way worse by the day. Errections almost nonexistent and bending way worse ;/.
Sleep is getting really good tho, WAY deeper then before. And today is probably the 2nd day since crash where my heart isn't moving my whole body. AH AND SOMETHING. MY EYEFLOATERS GOT LESS. I remember reading before crash that ppl get eyefloaters. So I was like, wtf are they talking about and looked in the sky to see if I have them but no, absolutely 0. After crash fkin awful, and it got worse every week. And today it's the first day they felt LESS. Almost hard to notice! Brain's fakin healing yasssss!
My right shoulder pain (indicator of inflammation), after crash I literally had PAIN DURING eating in the right shoulder. Now it's completely gone. Hope it stays that way. Lower backpain, 90% gone.
And overall I feel good. Literally hyped af to start the juice feast. Ordered a nutmilk bag and have to wait for it to arrive. So if it doesn't come tomorrow I will have to fast longer XDDDDD

A question tho, since I did the water fast. Then want to do a week of the juice feast. Could/should I add on the first day some bone broth to get maybe some of minor amino acids from it? And then just proceed with the juice feast? Or skipperino?
I really want to get some benefits of the juice feast before hopping on a normal diet/refeed. I've read into all of it and am totally sold. Excited af to finally get some nutrients into this body! Will give this body EVERYTHING IT FREKIN NEEDS! :D

And during 30min meditation yesterday I almost shed a tear out of happiness of this whole place. I'd probably be lying somewhere drinking myself to death out of desperation what happened and end doing probably either hard steroids to hope to somewhat get back or just end it alltogether.
No words can say how grateful I am to found this place this early to be right on track from the start!

ah and edit: I've no idea how credible this is, but it's interesting
was doing a "guided meditation" since I can't do one without sounds due to my heart moving my whole body. I can't get into a peace of mind without headphones.
And this guy was like raise your shoulders up to your ears, hold some seconds and then let it drop so stress can leave your body. So I did it the first time and I felt like how tf is this possible to just drop, my shoulders bounced 4 times before being back to "hanging" again.
So I did this like 4x, and after the meditation again and suddenly I could just raise, and drop. Without bounces. Crazy stuff and might actually help reduce stress. And today my heartbeat is WAY better, and I can bounce my shoulders from up to down without any "blocks". Might be pseudostuff, but just sharing.

I remember some youtube Doc was saying that Stress accumulates in your body, and unless you press some points in your body it won't leave. Even if you sleep/rest/meditate.
So I will try to get a massage next days! ;D

Edit: And anything I can replace celery with? I can't freaking find it ANYWHERE FFS XD Leeks and similar?

[Bankai9000]

Broke my fast yesterday night with a littleeee bit of well-cooked vegetable broth, spinach, kale, cucumber, celery(finally found it XD). And started today the juice feast, omg is that much work XDDD. But I'm so happy to eat(drink) SOMETHING that I'm happily doing it. It's expensive af tho to live like that haha. Everything tastes like HEAVEN. That celery taste goes through everything tho, might wanna do it in the morning (full 1pound)one and leave it out in the rest (I see that's ok via protocol right?).

Overall it's okee, my heartrace sadly doesn't stop. Still going, skin still getting worse. 1 more week and I will have worse skin than anyone who's under 60. But the positives. I'm calm af, stopped looking at myself and dont give a shiet now. I've come so far! Sleep is getting so heavy that it's really hard to get out of bed (omg finally). Got tonight like a 75% morning wood which is the best I've had in a long while (only one 40% during the whole water fast I think). Protocol goes like clockwork and meditating now twice a day. Sunning my balls whenever I can and getting daily good amounts of sunlight.

My normal weight is 73-75kg, (dk how it was after crash), but now I'm at 62kg(holy fuck), never been like this in my life. Since I don't wanna jack up to 2,5k kcal instant at refeed it will probably drop even more(not that I care). Sad this mechanism attacks my bodyskin so hard instead of muscles fak xd.
Going for a full hour massage on friday to let all the stress out (my first!)

So ya, trying to keep the good mood and hope this cortisol adapts! :D

Ah and what's the earliest I can add in the herbs? They should be here any day soon I hope.
Got the spirulina and chlorella, but not taking them for now. Incorporate them after the juice feast right?

And bought all bio showerstuff now and a new skinbrush!

[Bankai9000]

3rd day of juice feast and will start incorporating some very light doses of food today. 7 Day water fast + 3 juice feast should be allright I hope. I was eating very healthy for a half year prior. So hope this has done some good cleansing and making me ready for all of this. Collagenbreakup is still getting worse everyday, it's like it's eating every protein out of every single pore, absolutely disgusting. Otherwise the funny part is the skin looks very hydrated and I look really "refreshed" after the fast, so I really really hope this isn't some ongoing immuneissue or other weird shiet. Stopped caring for now. I'm feeling great and stopped looking into the mirror to keep it up and focusing on enjoying life, aswell as getting much sleep. Rest of the protocol is all in.
Most days I'm in bed at 22pm for the circadian rythm benefits and try to get as much sleep as possible. Since the 5th day of the water fast it has changed tremendously to the better and I finally seem to get some deep sleep now regularly. It really feels like catching up. Still wake up either at 1 or 3am and again at 6 no matter what. Regret a little I didn't order Ziziphus and Albizia so Magnesium it is.
But overall I'm way more calm and my heart seems to slowly relax a little there aswell. Found some weird yt sleep vid which seems to aid really good too lol. Lost the 24/7 wired feeling now for good I think.
Just feel that I really need to incorporate protein into all of this by now^^. Herbs gonna be here at 28.06 by that time I gonna be eating solids already and introducing exercises again.
I've got the same as DKnight with the dents, when I wake up you can see it a full hour later as if I would've just gotten out of bed. Light jogging for 10-15min seems to speed it up a little. But still the collagenloss is heartbreaking, wouldn't age like this in 10 years while doing heavy drugs. But ye w/e, keeping it up. Just sukz dick that 10years of doing hard drugs wouldn't age me like this..
Went back to enjoying piano/movies/beach/swimming in the cold sea(am the only fkin idiot able to do it due to the cold showers XD).

Some good changes since the crash are that I feel very good during the day now, no more tiredness which I def had before. No brainfog. As weird as it sounds it feels even like my eyesight has gotten better(LOL, a lot of floaters tho) and my memory is really on point and crazy imaginary. (Still some shortterm memory issues). If it wouldn't be for my skin I'd feel freakin fantastic.
Overall fully accepted this now and am happy to tackle it!

Anything I should add, B vits? 5htp, trypto? Maybe the glycine for bed? Otherwise just sticking to what's written out^^

[Bankai9000]

Fk I gotta ask, what do I do if I've a leaky gut or shiet like that.
No matter what I eat drink I'm peeing fkin 99% clear. Maybe that has to do with my skinissue aswell, as if I'm not absorbing any freaking nutrients
AppleCiderVinegar to meals? Betaine Hcl? Digestive enzymes or stuff like that?

[basementdweller]

Fk I gotta ask, what do I do if I've a leaky gut or shiet like that.
No matter what I eat drink I'm peeing fkin 99% clear. Maybe that has to do with my skinissue aswell, as if I'm not absorbing any freaking nutrients
AppleCiderVinegar to meals? Betaine Hcl? Digestive enzymes or stuff like that?

well if you're pissing more than usual from the anxiety, then it will be diluted and clear

[Bankai9000]

well if you're pissing more than usual from the anxiety, then it will be diluted and clear

Ya mean like my bodies anxiety? Not really pissing more than usual. It's just super diluted
I'm chill af now about everything. I'm still trying to find maybe something which would be useful that's it. And I guess that's human nature, I'm not trying to change the protocol in any way. I'm keeping at it and just asking out of curiosity.

I see that CD used B vitamins for example in his protocol, and from what I understand is when the body is too long in fight/flight-mode it depletes B-Reserves as crazy, so it seems good to replenish them(as we're doing with a juice feast for example and then the paelo diet). Thinking that some supplementation of B-precursors like Benfotiamine(+others) would be very beneficial.

I didn't get all 21(23?) herbs, so I'm not getting all benefits of those, and I see that stuff like Rhodiola, Tryptophan, Collagen/Gelatin/Glycine or even Pregnelone seem to be absolutely great for people in PFS state.
If you've all 21 herbs, they cover all of these aspects. But I don't have the money to get all of those right from the bat. And I can't just order 1-2herbs each month cuz I pay as much for the transport which takes almost 4weeks. I can get more in maybe a month earliest, but I COULD get some supps to aid recovery right now.

I try to tell myself this extreme accelerated aging(I do NOT look tired, I look more refreshed than ever in my life. My collagen is getting killed.) is due to 1. my body being completely fakd and out of homeostasis fighting due to 3 weeks of fight/flight and low sleepquality, and 2. crazy cortisol(waking up at 1/3am is literally adrenal fatigue). 3. My body not absorbing nutrients -> leading to vitamin deficiencies, especially C which then depletes Collagen out of the body to repair other parts.
Stressing about it won't help me I understand that for awhile already^^.

And some things are happening which I can't influence, yesterday my heart finally started beating more normal. And at night it doesn't pound anymore, but that's something completely unrelated to my state of mind. So all I can do is keep my mind chill so my body figures his shiet out. But for at least a week I'm laying in my bed relaxed and it was pounding so hard that I could feel my body moving from my head to my knee, unrelated if I'm just laying totally chill there.

Aswell asking about enzymes as stuff since this is something I noticed right from the start, that I don't pee yellowish at all, I had maybe 2 days where it happened even tho I was hydrated. Seeing people with PFS end up with a lot of gutproblems leading to foodallergies and worse, I'd love to tackle it from the start instead of waiting it out. Maybe paelo with carbbackloading will work on it's own, but maybe some betaine hcl after meals or even some ACV or nutritional yeast would help a lot too.

[Bankai9000]

I WANTED TO UPDATE. MY SKIN STARTED BOUNCING BACK BIAAAAACZES YASS :D

I love all of you srs <3

I can dent my hand in and it's gone within 30s-5min. 2 weeks ago this fkin dent stayed for almost 2 HOURS and it was horrifying. 4days ago for something like 1h. Now it's gone in earlier than 5min(yesterday too but I didn't want to freakout). TIME TO REVERSE the 10 years I've lost on my face ahaha. Even my tits and arm-skin started to sagg holy fkin shiet was that scary. 1 more month and I probably wouldn't have left the house ever again xD
I'm not sure if it's alrdy getting better on my face or so, cuz I noticed I still don't sweat on my face, but I'm sure if the body is catching up everything else will.
The full month straight after crash living like a monk, abstaining from absolutely everything that spikes dopamine and focusing on super healthy nutrition and sleep has probably made this possible. And this is only due to you guys. No way I could've stayed positive for so long on my own without any proper guidance.

I'm so grateful that you guys made this possible. Really as Rick said on that other post, I don't even know what traumatized me more, the crash or pph. Glad I got banned from there.

My herbs arrived today, gonna start using them tomorroww and I'm sooooo hypeeeeeeed. I will rip the fkin gym apart with my featherbiczassweight. 7Months no gym and 15kg less weight. I CANT FREAKING WAIT.

Something I should add, I went to get a massage 3 days ago. I thought the headache from the fincrash was by far the most painful experience in my life(and I had quite some in my life XD), but no. This massage was so painful I was literally laughing for an hour out of pain. That dude was like, how tf can you have such a stressed/stiff body at 29. He was like, if your muscles are chill, you won't even feel me. And the next day it was like my skin started working again (remember what I wrote about the meditation and the neck in some posts earlier.)(He told me tho he'd need at least like 6 sessions to fix my shitty back permanently) Coincidence or placebo, idc. it worked with everything else combined!!

Endleeeeess gratefulness!!

[Cdsnuts]

I WANTED TO UPDATE. MY SKIN STARTED BOUNCING BACK BIAAAAACZES YASS :D

I love all of you srs <3

I can dent my hand in and it's gone within 30s-5min. 2 weeks ago this fkin dent stayed for almost 2 HOURS and it was horrifying. 4days ago for something like 1h. Now it's gone in earlier than 5min(yesterday too but I didn't want to freakout). TIME TO REVERSE the 10 years I've lost on my face ahaha. Even my tits and arm-skin started to sagg holy fkin shiet was that scary. 1 more month and I probably wouldn't have left the house ever again xD
I'm not sure if it's alrdy getting better on my face or so, cuz I noticed I still don't sweat on my face, but I'm sure if the body is catching up everything else will.
The full month straight after crash living like a monk, abstaining from absolutely everything that spikes dopamine and focusing on super healthy nutrition and sleep has probably made this possible. And this is only due to you guys. No way I could've stayed positive for so long on my own without any proper guidance.

I'm so grateful that you guys made this possible. Really as Rick said on that other post, I don't even know what traumatized me more, the crash or pph. Glad I got banned from there.

My herbs arrived today, gonna start using them tomorroww and I'm sooooo hypeeeeeeed. I will rip the fkin gym apart with my featherbiczassweight. 7Months no gym and 15kg less weight. I CANT FREAKING WAIT.

Something I should add, I went to get a massage 3 days ago. I thought the headache from the fincrash was by far the most painful experience in my life(and I had quite some in my life XD), but no. This massage was so painful I was literally laughing for an hour out of pain. That dude was like, how tf can you have such a stressed/stiff body at 29. He was like, if your muscles are chill, you won't even feel me. And the next day it was like my skin started working again (remember what I wrote about the meditation and the neck in some posts earlier.)(He told me tho he'd need at least like 6 sessions to fix my shitty back permanently) Coincidence or placebo, idc. it worked with everything else combined!!

Endleeeeess gratefulness!!

Simmer down now champ....lol.

You'll be here and gone hundreds of more times before you're set in stone. Don't get too HYYPPPPPEEEEEDDDDDD about it.

Keep moving forward and don't look back at the old SHIET from when you were being a BIACZASS Mfker.

Feel me?

And yeah, you should be endleeeeeeeeeeeessleeey grateful for all the dudes on this site willing to give you their TIME. Aside from the info contained within, these guys and their help are the real resource here for new comers.

Will you heal? Hell YAASSSSSSS you will.

Peace out biacz

[Bankai9000]

Simmer down now champ....lol.

You'll be here and gone hundreds of more times before you're set in stone. Don't get too HYYPPPPPEEEEEDDDDDD about it.

Keep moving forward and don't look back at the old SHIET from when you were being a BIACZASS Mfker.

Feel me?

And yeah, you should be endleeeeeeeeeeeessleeey grateful for all the dudes on this site willing to give you their TIME. Aside from the info contained within, these guys and their help are the real resource here for new comers.

Will you heal? Hell YAASSSSSSS you will.

Peace out biacz

Oh I don't mind CD!! This is my happy place man!

From porn and exhausting myself to reading this beautiful TMO Side, applying and checking these fine sexy-ass recovery stories on here has become a daily habit!
I'll become a 200% version of myself after this shiet. And I can't wait!
I've spend probably 200h reading since the fucking crash and educating myself, and honestly there's nothing I can really add here. This is the absolute proper guideline to literally every health aspect there is. You're a freaking beast man. It all fits.

Still XD, I want to add into the herb rotation like 1-2x a week, some high quality B vitamins(benfotiamine etc., rest from natural sources)/Nutritional yeast. And some Betaine-Hcl+ AppleCiderVinegar with some bigger meals. My digestions is okeish, but def not precrash yet. Literally feels like a Bile problem, as if digestion takes too long, especially with big meals. Wanna do it as with the herbs, to not take any supp daily besides spirulina/chlorella. Do I have the permission Sir?

Got now 9 Herbs total and Kelp for Iodine(I've rly high estrogen, might help). So can do a 10 day rotation with all of them. Got a lot of Shilajit (100g ups xd). Any advice on that?^^

[RickTheRuler]

This is what caffeine & cocaine looks like through the screen.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Bankai9000]

This is what caffeine & cocaine looks like through the screen.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Do you want some cocaine Vine by PurpleCrumbs - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfTplY8h-U8) xDD

[Cdsnuts]

This is what caffeine & cocaine looks like through the screen.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

"Cocaine's a hell of a drug." - Rick James.

[Cdsnuts]

Oh I don't mind CD!! This is my happy place man!

From porn and exhausting myself to reading this beautiful TMO Side, applying and checking these fine sexy-ass recovery stories on here has become a daily habit!
I'll become a 200% version of myself after this shiet. And I can't wait!
I've spend probably 200h reading since the fucking crash and educating myself, and honestly there's nothing I can really add here. This is the absolute proper guideline to literally every health aspect there is. You're a freaking beast man. It all fits.

Still XD, I want to add into the herb rotation like 1-2x a week, some high quality B vitamins(benfotiamine etc., rest from natural sources)/Nutritional yeast. And some Betaine-Hcl+ AppleCiderVinegar with some bigger meals. My digestions is okeish, but def not precrash yet. Literally feels like a Bile problem, as if digestion takes too long, especially with big meals. Wanna do it as with the herbs, to not take any supp daily besides spirulina/chlorella. Do I have the permission Sir?

Got now 9 Herbs total and Kelp for Iodine(I've rly high estrogen, might help). So can do a 10 day rotation with all of them. Got a lot of Shilajit (100g ups xd). Any advice on that?^^


My permission? You don't need my permission for shit....you're a grown man.

The B vitamins you should shoot for three times a week and the other stuff is fine as well.

[Bankai9000]

Guys. I'm in a bit of a loss. And I've been thinking about doing this here, and I know I shouldn't. I really shouldnt.. but u guys have really helped me so much through this last month, and my head is exploding and I'm just so sad.
My Mom passed away, very suddenly got ill within a week, we went from hospital to hospital in Poland and this whole healthcare system is a fucking joke. Hospitals are just fkin graveyards. I offered 20k to let her transport to Germany but they couldn't do it cuz the hospital didn't allow to pass information due to some fkd up guidelines. They just didn't do jackshit in Poland besides bloodtests till she passed away. There's so much anger, and regret. And I was so helpless the whole last week and in so much pain and struggle. Now all the hope just vanished. There is this huge hole. PFS makes my head feel like a filled bowling ball with all this stress. My Dad was so dependent on my Mother, spending every single day 24/7 together for the last 36 years. I'm not even sure if I'm more heartbroken due to the loss of my Mother or for the loss for my Dad. And here I am, a 29 year old single with fresh-PFS and a broken dick. Having pains down there even tho I'm half numb, and bending and fearing fucking calcification with rapid aging skin and these fucked up sleepissues. My gums hurt extreme all day as if someone is tearing them up combined with cancer sores and my stomach seems to be unable to digest shit.
It's just all, so much.... and I rly don't know, how to cope ..
I deleted this now 3 times.. I just don't know what to do. all this superficial shit, jobs, money, it's all so worthless
Thought that after I get out of PFS I will be finally able to actually really appreciate life, and now there's just this .. huge nothingness and fear for my Dad who just won't be able to cope.. and forgive himself
just fuck

[Cdsnuts]

Guys. I'm in a bit of a loss. And I've been thinking about doing this here, and I know I shouldn't. I really shouldnt.. but u guys have really helped me so much through this last month, and my head is exploding and I'm just so sad.
My Mom passed away, very suddenly got ill within a week, we went from hospital to hospital in Poland and this whole healthcare system is a fucking joke. Hospitals are just fkin graveyards. I offered 20k to let her transport to Germany but they couldn't do it cuz the hospital didn't allow to pass information due to some fkd up guidelines. They just didn't do jackshit in Poland besides bloodtests till she passed away. There's so much anger, and regret. And I was so helpless the whole last week and in so much pain and struggle. Now all the hope just vanished. There is this huge hole. PFS makes my head feel like a filled bowling ball with all this stress. My Dad was so dependent on my Mother, spending every single day 24/7 together for the last 36 years. I'm not even sure if I'm more heartbroken due to the loss of my Mother or for the loss for my Dad. And here I am, a 29 year old single with fresh-PFS and a broken dick. Having pains down there even tho I'm half numb, and bending and fearing fucking calcification with rapid aging skin and these fucked up sleepissues. My gums hurt extreme all day as if someone is tearing them up combined with cancer sores and my stomach seems to be unable to digest shit.
It's just all, so much.... and I rly don't know, how to cope ..
I deleted this now 3 times.. I just don't know what to do. all this superficial shit, jobs, money, it's all so worthless
Thought that after I get out of PFS I will be finally able to actually really appreciate life, and now there's just this .. huge nothingness and fear for my Dad who just won't be able to cope.. and forgive himself
just fuck

I'm sorry man.

[DKnighten]

Guys. I'm in a bit of a loss. And I've been thinking about doing this here, and I know I shouldn't. I really shouldnt.. but u guys have really helped me so much through this last month, and my head is exploding and I'm just so sad.
My Mom passed away, very suddenly got ill within a week, we went from hospital to hospital in Poland and this whole healthcare system is a fucking joke. Hospitals are just fkin graveyards. I offered 20k to let her transport to Germany but they couldn't do it cuz the hospital didn't allow to pass information due to some fkd up guidelines. They just didn't do jackshit in Poland besides bloodtests till she passed away. There's so much anger, and regret. And I was so helpless the whole last week and in so much pain and struggle. Now all the hope just vanished. There is this huge hole. PFS makes my head feel like a filled bowling ball with all this stress. My Dad was so dependent on my Mother, spending every single day 24/7 together for the last 36 years. I'm not even sure if I'm more heartbroken due to the loss of my Mother or for the loss for my Dad. And here I am, a 29 year old single with fresh-PFS and a broken dick. Having pains down there even tho I'm half numb, and bending and fearing fucking calcification with rapid aging skin and these fucked up sleepissues. My gums hurt extreme all day as if someone is tearing them up combined with cancer sores and my stomach seems to be unable to digest shit.
It's just all, so much.... and I rly don't know, how to cope ..
I deleted this now 3 times.. I just don't know what to do. all this superficial shit, jobs, money, it's all so worthless
Thought that after I get out of PFS I will be finally able to actually really appreciate life, and now there's just this .. huge nothingness and fear for my Dad who just won't be able to cope.. and forgive himself
just fuck

I'm sorry for your loss man. No amount of typing from me can heal that or make it any better. Can't imagine how horrible something like that is, and PFS amplifies even the smallest of issues. I don't know you or your family of course, but if I had to wager, I would bet that she wouldn't want you to give up, and that she would want you to heal and live life to the fullest you can. If you need anybody to talk to, hit me up.

[Bankai9000]

Thank you guys. It really means a lot. As you're saying DK, on the day she passed I had a drink with my Dad. And there was this splitsecond of a decision if I want to spend my time mouring and getting wasted or actually try to fix myself asap to live life to the fullest and make her proud. And although this drink felt absolutely amazing I went with the second choice(I always loved to drink..). I've ate quite some shitfood anyway(was always a stresseater), but I didn't get wasted and am focused on handling absolutely everything I can now to move on. All this paperwork and burying.. I'd never thought this shit is so much work and it all just hurts even more.

Tomorrow I will be back to 99% diet. After the fast and shiet I have extreme cravings, I'm hitting daily probably 3-6k kcal and really need to stop eating that much. This PFS shit annoys the hell out of me, I can't even mourn in my "own" way due to fear of a crash. Probably better for my own health but still, I fkin hate it. I'd love to get wasted with close friends and just enjoy some time among others soon. For now it was really hard to talk with people, but the people around me are so supportive, it's incredible and I'm blessed to have such people around. Some brought us daily food, some cleaned even the house and others invited us in to feast at theirs and dozens offer me all help of the world. Really trying to focus on what I can appreciate and there are no words how valueable anyones live actually is. And what pain it brings to absolutely everyone when a person is gone. I literally hate myself for ever thinking about suicide in the past, what a fucking joke. I keep fighting, sadly all this stress got me in a downswing. My skin stopped working again(bedsheets for 40min~ now..) and I've sometimes absolutely crazy eyefloaters. My hands seem shaking now too...
The herbs seem to give me really good sleep tho. I don't know what it is but I seem to be able to sleep with max 1-2breaks. It's still shallow af and with all the things to do I can barely handle to hit 7h sleep in total. After Sunday I will be able to maybe get more sleep, but it's so hard to actually be asleep at 22 if I haven't been used to it for years.. and I'm working my ass off and have just some chill after 21, so it all just adds up..

I'm calming myself down with 2-3x meditation a day or just walking through the forest, people come daily and try to cheer me up anyhow and share their stories. It's so astonishing to see how so many people got over crazy struggles. My Dad gets accompanied from close friends 24/7 aswell. He's the reason I have all this panic inside me. I was always kinda a huge social drinker/person, but still an introvert. I can entertain myself alone and don't need anyone around me, but he's an old man, always done everything with his wife. Never been alone.

I will win this battle, gonna be a fucking great son. Gonna make all proud, and you biaczes too !

[Rafenk]

You're a legend Bankai. Stay strong.

[Bankai9000]

Fkin dammit I deleted my post again.

I drank a littl with some weed today and I still got it when it comes to pickup, but how tf do I manage to sleep with girls now? Cialis/viagra? Never used them before... do I really have to wait 6months-2years now?

And @CD due to the stress I ate shit last week.. (5/6k a day)..., but overall my body feels good, 70% errections nightly and sleep is getting better. Maybe 3-4x days juice feast to clean a bit?

Thank you Rafenk, really means much!

[Cdsnuts]

Fkin dammit I deleted my post again.

I drank a littl with some weed today and I still got it when it comes to pickup, but how tf do I manage to sleep with girls now? Cialis/viagra? Never used them before... do I really have to wait 6months-2years now?

And @CD due to the stress I ate shit last week.. (5/6k a day)..., but overall my body feels good, 70% errections nightly and sleep is getting better. Maybe 3-4x days juice feast to clean a bit?

Thank you Rafenk, really means much!

Dude....you need to slow down. I understand you just had a tremendous loss, but beating yourself up is going to do no good for anyone in your life, including yourself.

You don't have to wait 6mo-2yrs to sleep with a woman. If you can manage it right now, then go for it! That time frame is typically what it takes for people to recover, that's all. It has nothing to do with having sex or not. Sex is always encouraged during this time period despite the difficulties it may pose.

And no, there is no need to do another cleanse.

Do yourself a favor and read as much of this forum as possible. The website as well. Most, if not all of your questions will be answered that way.

We have grown quite a wealth of knowledge here over the years. Use it.

[Bankai9000]

Since I usually write in an emotional state. I want to take some time to write now when I'm chill and feeling extremely calm. Probably much but it helps me to throw it all out and then move on, and reread maybe some day a little.

Thank you CD man, like getting on here and reading such an answer really kicks me back into focusing on life. I appreciate it, a lot, every single time.

I still cheat, still eat some ice and or so when I'm out with people. It's not ideal, I shouldn't do it. But for now just destressing when the possibility arises seems even more important than anything else. When my life calms down soon(I hope this daily..) I will leave those out 99%, besides maybe when I'm with a girl going out.

Otherwise my diet is extremely on point, I've read and read and I'm totally set on what to do. Ofc I'm going paelo, but I'm trying to fit it into my personal needs. More cooked vegetables, more meals, less fruits, more focus on clean good meats etc. I had a very unhealthy "healthy" lifestyle, even tho I was eating "good" foods I was crazy overdosing on fruits 24/7 for example.

I've got a hairtest like 2 weeks after my crash and got the results some days ago, and this helps me even more to put into perspective what to eat more of and what less. Got crazy high calcium and copper, all life drinkin shittons of milk with wheys and dairy with absolute freak amounts of sugars(fruits and candy) with chocolate/cookies etc.. So no suprise these are freaking high, high sugar, tons of alcohol and stress-chasing habits leading to completely plummed magnesiumlevels. Funny is the supplementation they suggest is literally exactly of what I've read here on Swole and Hackstasis how to fight PFS or all "natural" supports optimum for organ health and am using those already anyway. Like B vitamins, digestive support, magnesium and some zinc.

In the last week I got crazy vascular, my muscles feel better even tho I had barely time to hit the gym. My skin is super hydrated and got great color, I've lost all paleness (which sometimes weirdly reappears randomly). My eyefloaters are fucking intense after swimming in the sea, but otherwise way better now too.

My sleep is still shit, I wake up like 3-4x a night in addition to not having much time. I get quite some errections at night and it seems that every single one is waking me up lol. Wouldn't mind that XD, but sadly they are weak, like 50% ;/. Got the bending and rotation going on which is freaking me out, but I just try not to worry about it now.

When the weather allows it I'll try to hit the sea daily for 10-15minutes, I'm used to cold exposure like a mofo by now and sea water seems to balance out the bodies minerals very well according to hacks.
Skin varies but today the bedsheets dissappeared in like 3-5minutes, probably best since crash.

Overall I feel good, I try to appreciate absolute everything. It just hurts me so much that I'm doing it this late.
Went for a walk today in the forest (I live in a really small touristplace, stunningly beautiful) and when it started raining all ran, and I just walked down with this fakin JOY building up inside myself. Fucking loved it. Remembering the body anhedonia makes stuff like that feel out of this world. My mind is clearer and better than precrash now. No brainfog, not much tiredness and my memory is getting crazy good. My heartbeat is too strong but overall on point, aswell as my arythmia is gone completely.


I'm really really happy to have found this place, I feel like a different human compared to whom I've been a month ago. Am working like 12hours a day now, there's just barely time for anything. My whole live got turned around. I go to bed early, I wake up early and then I have maybe 1-2hours for myself till I have to focus on sleep again. But even with such a lifestyle it is still way less taxing on my body compared to that shit I've done to myself prior.
And stuff which would anger me out of this world in work just doesn't bother me much anymore. AND OMFG I JUST NOTICED MY HEART beats faster out of anger. For the 6 weeks it seemed my heart was like detached from my brain, but I had to deal with a very unpleasent guy today and now I just noticed xD.

I stopped valuing this pseudoimportant stuff tho and if I earn less due to some idiot so be it, not like it really matters in the end anyway. Being healthy and sharing shit with friends/people/family is what counts. Being upset about deadlines and shit which always somehow can get handled just seems so absurd to me now.

Something I just want to add, for anyone still reading this shitwall of text.
My Mom had a beautiful funeral, it's weirdly probably one of my most .. idk how to say it. It was just absolutely stunning, there were like 60-70people. From who I knew like 40people so deep that they all felt like family. People were crying with us and it just felt so.. this whole pressure and pain got eased so much by touching and sharing with all these people crying and being there for us.

I'm slowly getting this real feeling back of, just being able to handle things. Still sharing a tear here or there, but I'm getting better, and my Dad seems to be really happy to see me being now this solid pillar handling everything without complaining.


So thanks a lot guys, you guys saved me. Seriously.

[Cdsnuts]

Since I usually write in an emotional state. I want to take some time to write now when I'm chill and feeling extremely calm. Probably much but it helps me to throw it all out and then move on, and reread maybe some day a little.

Thank you CD man, like getting on here and reading such an answer really kicks me back into focusing on life. I appreciate it, a lot, every single time.

I still cheat, still eat some ice and or so when I'm out with people. It's not ideal, I shouldn't do it. But for now just destressing when the possibility arises seems even more important than anything else. When my life calms down soon(I hope this daily..) I will leave those out 99%, besides maybe when I'm with a girl going out.

Otherwise my diet is extremely on point, I've read and read and I'm totally set on what to do. Ofc I'm going paelo, but I'm trying to fit it into my personal needs. More cooked vegetables, more meals, less fruits, more focus on clean good meats etc. I had a very unhealthy "healthy" lifestyle, even tho I was eating "good" foods I was crazy overdosing on fruits 24/7 for example.

I've got a hairtest like 2 weeks after my crash and got the results some days ago, and this helps me even more to put into perspective what to eat more of and what less. Got crazy high calcium and copper, all life drinkin shittons of milk with wheys and dairy with absolute freak amounts of sugars(fruits and candy) with chocolate/cookies etc.. So no suprise these are freaking high, high sugar, tons of alcohol and stress-chasing habits leading to completely plummed magnesiumlevels. Funny is the supplementation they suggest is literally exactly of what I've read here on Swole and Hackstasis how to fight PFS or all "natural" supports optimum for organ health and am using those already anyway. Like B vitamins, digestive support, magnesium and some zinc.

In the last week I got crazy vascular, my muscles feel better even tho I had barely time to hit the gym. My skin is super hydrated and got great color, I've lost all paleness (which sometimes weirdly reappears randomly). My eyefloaters are fucking intense after swimming in the sea, but otherwise way better now too.

My sleep is still shit, I wake up like 3-4x a night in addition to not having much time. I get quite some errections at night and it seems that every single one is waking me up lol. Wouldn't mind that XD, but sadly they are weak, like 50% ;/. Got the bending and rotation going on which is freaking me out, but I just try not to worry about it now.

When the weather allows it I'll try to hit the sea daily for 10-15minutes, I'm used to cold exposure like a mofo by now and sea water seems to balance out the bodies minerals very well according to hacks.
Skin varies but today the bedsheets dissappeared in like 3-5minutes, probably best since crash.

Overall I feel good, I try to appreciate absolute everything. It just hurts me so much that I'm doing it this late.
Went for a walk today in the forest (I live in a really small touristplace, stunningly beautiful) and when it started raining all ran, and I just walked down with this fakin JOY building up inside myself. Fucking loved it. Remembering the body anhedonia makes stuff like that feel out of this world. My mind is clearer and better than precrash now. No brainfog, not much tiredness and my memory is getting crazy good. My heartbeat is too strong but overall on point, aswell as my arythmia is gone completely.


I'm really really happy to have found this place, I feel like a different human compared to whom I've been a month ago. Am working like 12hours a day now, there's just barely time for anything. My whole live got turned around. I go to bed early, I wake up early and then I have maybe 1-2hours for myself till I have to focus on sleep again. But even with such a lifestyle it is still way less taxing on my body compared to that shit I've done to myself prior.
And stuff which would anger me out of this world in work just doesn't bother me much anymore. AND OMFG I JUST NOTICED MY HEART beats faster out of anger. For the 6 weeks it seemed my heart was like detached from my brain, but I had to deal with a very unpleasent guy today and now I just noticed xD.

I stopped valuing this pseudoimportant stuff tho and if I earn less due to some idiot so be it, not like it really matters in the end anyway. Being healthy and sharing shit with friends/people/family is what counts. Being upset about deadlines and shit which always somehow can get handled just seems so absurd to me now.

Something I just want to add, for anyone still reading this shitwall of text.
My Mom had a beautiful funeral, it's weirdly probably one of my most .. idk how to say it. It was just absolutely stunning, there were like 60-70people. From who I knew like 40people so deep that they all felt like family. People were crying with us and it just felt so.. this whole pressure and pain got eased so much by touching and sharing with all these people crying and being there for us.

I'm slowly getting this real feeling back of, just being able to handle things. Still sharing a tear here or there, but I'm getting better, and my Dad seems to be really happy to see me being now this solid pillar handling everything without complaining.


So thanks a lot guys, you guys saved me. Seriously.

The best thing you can do for everyone in your life is to take care of yourself. The better you are, the better you will be to everyone around you. It's not a selfish thing at all to make sure you're doing well. I actually look at it as the opposite.

Sorry again about your Mother. I can't even imagine.

[Bankai9000]

The best thing you can do for everyone in your life is to take care of yourself. The better you are, the better you will be to everyone around you. It's not a selfish thing at all to make sure you're doing well. I actually look at it as the opposite.

Sorry again about your Mother. I can't even imagine.

Thank you CD. This is exactly what has been going through my mind. I was out last 3-4days socializing. I'm actually an introvert, but a crazy social drinker/party pickup kinda guy. (We can learn everything right xd)

Since PFS I had this extreme wired feeling which mostly calmed down by now but still present to a degree, so I still have the sleepissues. And while I know I'm not healthy I feel good can't lie.
My mental/brainfog/tiredness is gone, and while something is wrong with me it makes life actually enjoyable af. So I need to be way more careful to focus on sleep and not overexerting my body even more. 1 night less sleep = instant skinfuck.

So ye was roaming around with ma guitar at the beach after 12h of work yesterday(gud money lulz! :D) and met some long notseen friends, hanging out singing shiet till 6am sharing tons of stories and just having a huge blast. Sadly drank a bit again and it's the 3rd time now.. and I really notice that my body cant handle it (ofcourse lol). My skin gets completely fucked on the full next day. My hangover is as bad as if I'd drink 3x the amount. But I opened up to some about my "endocrine crash" lel, and it felt good for myself to let go of this social pressure and get actual support from close friends.
(And Im frekin horny after drinking, but afraid to fap XD)

I've said it time and time again but I'm set af to now go into the right direction.
Adding cooked vegetables to every meal has been absolutely nuts when it comes to my food/sugarcravings. They went 90% down and my body is actually craving these vegetables even after being the night out XD. Today one more day of lowsleep due to work and then I have quite some freetime to focus on what's important again.

The loss of my Mom makes the idea of hide and let life slip by just so disgusting. I'm making plans with friends and 3/4 of my next week is already set to do stuff with people I like in nice places aswell as way further plans. Without the alc^^

All these hits make talking to other people (which all my life has been quite an annoyance 😂 kinda different. But in a good way, since I value life way more now. I value peoples opinions and viewpoints, I'm just more curious and actually interested how people LIVE their lifes and what they are dealing with. And you'd be suprised at what shit people had to go through if you let them open up. I've got to know more about several friends I know in some recent talking hours compared to years of partying/fun together.

Feelsgud

[Bankai9000]

Yo what to do with sex help? My dick is obviously still in shitty shape, it's been like 5weeks that I got some feeling there. Errections happen, but the longer I stay errect the number it gets, I suffer quite a bit from PE if I noticed that right in addition too.
And I got this fkin bending going on, which is awful when the errection is weak, but in full it's "acceptable". Just the problem is it's hard to get like a full errection. I got the bathmate today but haven't tried it yet.
Reason i ask cuz I got free house for 2 weeks now, and I got this hot af 19 year old actually wanting to come over for some days to "help me out" and relax with sum wine and stuff. I knew she was interested and I expected this to happen but not that soon, and she spamphoned me today and is like tomorrow I got ma own car and well she wants to feel all the freedom that it brings xDD

And now I'm like, I REALLY WANT THIS FUCK AHAHA. But honestly I'm really not ready for this, especially if there's wine again or shit fak, whattoodoo xd

[jacknap]

Yo what to do with sex help? My dick is obviously still in shitty shape, it's been like 5weeks that I got some feeling there. Errections happen, but the longer I stay errect the number it gets, I suffer quite a bit from PE if I noticed that right in addition too.
And I got this fkin bending going on, which is awful when the errection is weak, but in full it's "acceptable". Just the problem is it's hard to get like a full errection. I got the bathmate today but haven't tried it yet.
Reason i ask cuz I got free house for 2 weeks now, and I got this hot af 19 year old actually wanting to come over for some days to "help me out" and relax with sum wine and stuff. I knew she was interested and I expected this to happen but not that soon, and she spamphoned me today and is like tomorrow I got ma own car and well she wants to feel all the freedom that it brings xDD

And now I'm like, I REALLY WANT THIS FUCK AHAHA. But honestly I'm really not ready for this, especially if there's wine again or shit fak, whattoodoo xd

I got really good at going down on girls and then their feelings of pleasure and moans would activate my dick. I think a pussy in your face will help unlock your sexuality. It's not the same as just having a stiffy before u take off your pants but yeah I'd go down on her and walk myself while i'm doing it and should be ready to go depending on how far into recovery you are. in a sense PFS made me a way better lover

also I used to do it too the way you do but try to make your posts shorter because I see like 5 paragraphs and I'm like ugh I don't want to read this even though I wanna help lmao try to make it more concise (at least for me will make me want to help you more)

[Bankai9000]

I got really good at going down on girls and then their feelings of pleasure and moans would activate my dick. I think a pussy in your face will help unlock your sexuality. It's not the same as just having a stiffy before u take off your pants but yeah I'd go down on her and walk myself while i'm doing it and should be ready to go depending on how far into recovery you are. in a sense PFS made me a way better lover

also I used to do it too the way you do but try to make your posts shorter because I see like 5 paragraphs and I'm like ugh I don't want to read this even though I wanna help lmao try to make it more concise (at least for me will make me want to help you more)

Thanks jacknap!, u re right I need to stop spamming so much XD. Since I have noone to really talk about it I just let loose here to flush my mind.
Yesterday/today my libido is literally through the roof, almost pre-fin wise. So now I feel like prefin trying to avoid fapping XDD, to frekin not stress my body. Since I can feel the exhaustion shortly after, and numbness increases aswell after fap for hooours.

Funny is cuz I got drunk now what, like 3 times? Every time I had this hangover libido spike, but now it's been 2 days and it's still sticking lol. Maybe there's rly some weird allopreg and gabashiet bouncing happening xD Same time my heart is beating stronger(very negative).
Same as after/during gym I suddenly get this huge euphoric/positive attitude feeling.

jacknap Any more advice on actual stuff to use? Like maybe more PinePollen or so during days where I expect sex? Arginine? Or even cialis? Do I use the bathmate on days I expect or better avoid it?(Still havent used it).
I'm pretty sure now after checking yesterday I have fucking PE, thought it's from not fapping long but I really struggle, like it's similar with the thing with my heart. Feels like somewhat unrelated to mind/feelings. As if there's this whole cortisolissue still going strong.
Before crash I had it sometimes but just at the start, if I'd "pass" that I'd be good, but I never struggled to get a 2nd round almost immediately so I never really cared about it anyway, while now I'm not sure if I will even feel my dick at all minutes after XD

[Cdsnuts]

Thanks jacknap!, u re right I need to stop spamming so much XD. Since I have noone to really talk about it I just let loose here to flush my mind.
Yesterday/today my libido is literally through the roof, almost pre-fin wise. So now I feel like prefin trying to avoid fapping XDD, to frekin not stress my body. Since I can feel the exhaustion shortly after, and numbness increases aswell after fap for hooours.

Funny is cuz I got drunk now what, like 3 times? Every time I had this hangover libido spike, but now it's been 2 days and it's still sticking lol. Maybe there's rly some weird allopreg and gabashiet bouncing happening xD Same time my heart is beating stronger(very negative).
Same as after/during gym I suddenly get this huge euphoric/positive attitude feeling.

jacknap Any more advice on actual stuff to use? Like maybe more PinePollen or so during days where I expect sex? Arginine? Or even cialis? Do I use the bathmate on days I expect or better avoid it?(Still havent used it).
I'm pretty sure now after checking yesterday I have fucking PE, thought it's from not fapping long but I really struggle, like it's similar with the thing with my heart. Feels like somewhat unrelated to mind/feelings. As if there's this whole cortisolissue still going strong.
Before crash I had it sometimes but just at the start, if I'd "pass" that I'd be good, but I never struggled to get a 2nd round almost immediately so I never really cared about it anyway, while now I'm not sure if I will even feel my dick at all minutes after XD

I would always recommend the bathmate up to four hours before sex as it really get's the dick full and stretched to accept more blood therefore giving a better erection. Just don't over do it or hurt yourself. Slow and steady with the bathmate.

- - - Updated - - -


I got really good at going down on girls and then their feelings of pleasure and moans would activate my dick. I think a pussy in your face will help unlock your sexuality. It's not the same as just having a stiffy before u take off your pants but yeah I'd go down on her and walk myself while i'm doing it and should be ready to go depending on how far into recovery you are. in a sense PFS made me a way better lover

also I used to do it too the way you do but try to make your posts shorter because I see like 5 paragraphs and I'm like ugh I don't want to read this even though I wanna help lmao try to make it more concise (at least for me will make me want to help you more)

This is what I would do as well. Always helped me out. And then if things don't go your way, at least you got her off and she'll be more then happy to be with you again.

[jacknap]

Thanks jacknap!, u re right I need to stop spamming so much XD. Since I have noone to really talk about it I just let loose here to flush my mind.
Yesterday/today my libido is literally through the roof, almost pre-fin wise. So now I feel like prefin trying to avoid fapping XDD, to frekin not stress my body. Since I can feel the exhaustion shortly after, and numbness increases aswell after fap for hooours.

Funny is cuz I got drunk now what, like 3 times? Every time I had this hangover libido spike, but now it's been 2 days and it's still sticking lol. Maybe there's rly some weird allopreg and gabashiet bouncing happening xD Same time my heart is beating stronger(very negative).
Same as after/during gym I suddenly get this huge euphoric/positive attitude feeling.

jacknap Any more advice on actual stuff to use? Like maybe more PinePollen or so during days where I expect sex? Arginine? Or even cialis? Do I use the bathmate on days I expect or better avoid it?(Still havent used it).
I'm pretty sure now after checking yesterday I have fucking PE, thought it's from not fapping long but I really struggle, like it's similar with the thing with my heart. Feels like somewhat unrelated to mind/feelings. As if there's this whole cortisolissue still going strong.
Before crash I had it sometimes but just at the start, if I'd "pass" that I'd be good, but I never struggled to get a 2nd round almost immediately so I never really cared about it anyway, while now I'm not sure if I will even feel my dick at all minutes after XD

cialis + tongkat ali once a week when you got a baddie lined up if you need it. I haven't used cialis in 3 months though

[Cdsnuts]

cialis + tongkat ali once a week when you got a baddie lined up if you need it. I haven't used cialis in 3 months though

Awesome on the dropping of the PDE5's....I've found the horny goat weed from LEH is fantastic for this.

[Bankai9000]

Guess it's time to order some new herbs then :DD!


I posted this just on hackstasis. So I'm throwing it in here, ya don't have to read it xD. Just as keeping it a log updated a bit^^


Short update:

Since I was crying about negatives so much here are some positives
- Mood is great, energy levels are great

- Mental/Memory is better then precrash(I think so at least, ya don't know whatya don't know eh xD)

- I can feel my muscles pretty good again, pump is coming back

- I couldnt sleep yesterday for longer than 1 1/2h at a time, but got today 6 hours of sleep and feel great

- markers/dents on my body are almost nonexistent when I get some sleep and/or am not stressed out

- muscle soreness always appearent now, I feel like muscle recovery is very slow but it is happening

- my skin overall looks shiny and is bit oily(precrash was dry), I got great skincolor by now

- stools are pretty fine and 1per day, sometimes more

- I sometimes get random boners now for 4-5days, even without visual/mechanical stimulation. Absolutely amazing is like the "automatic" brain/genital connection is comming back

- life feels enjoyable, I'm happy to see colors, eat food, talk to people, drive the car etc.

- bloodtests for most stuff are in very good range, liver/pancreas/kidneys

- I'm sweating more on point than precrash now too

- I'm tanning 10x faster than before

- pee has yellowish tint now always, even if I don't eat and just drink



Negatives:

- skin is still getting more wrinkly, I really hope it's just a aftereffect of my skin not reacting to anything for over 6 weeks, I'm getting permanent wrinkles now and it even looks like scartissue on my face, but positive is my skin is reacting on most of my body instantly now (compared to minimum 1 hour before)

- my heartbeat is very strong, the pulsrate sys dia is all in good "athlete" range, but still my heartbeat moves my whole body and I feel it 24/7 and is very annoying during bedtime

- bent dick + rotation on axis

- def gutissues, prob sibo, have like pain in left lower abdomen as if food gets stuck there (but im pooing more than precrash), weird noises, and it feels as if all "saggs" down when I run

- sleep is totally random, never ever more than 6 hours tho

- hair is awful

- bloodtest shows high Eosinophils(almost triple the amount..) and low MPV/P-LCR (can anyone interpret? Do I have leukemia now? xd..)





- my hands shake, as in parkinsons or so.. I couldn't really point out when they get better or not, but had one very short, but very stressful encounter today and my hands shaked WAY stronger for 50minutes after. Dopamine depletion? Instant adrenal overload? I'm getting extremely rarely stressed by external factors, but after this one my hands were shaking like crazy. I know this happened even precrash very rarely(like once a year) in huge stress-situations, but never this intense, and I'm very sure my hands weren't shaky in normal situations before.


So overall I'm doing really better and better^^

[jacknap]

Awesome on the dropping of the PDE5's....I've found the horny goat weed from LEH is fantastic for this.

It was more so because my source is dry, I still enjoy the performance enhancement of it. I think my erection hardness is more so because of the penis injury that I had rather then lack of libido now. I haven't been using bathmate, wondering if it might help bring my erection hardness back to where I need it. I damaged the right side of the base spongey tissue. I can feel it. It recovered quite a bit though. I think the bathmate directly works on that right? I dropped bathmate because it seems like even the 20x3 is overkill for me. Maybe just keep it to once a week training?

How fast you think I can work my way back up to 20 minutes erect? Was thinking maybe 3 minutes added every week or much faster speed 3 minutes every other day added or is that too fast? That would get me back up to 20 minutes 3x in 2 weeks.

I'm still waiting for my andros to arrive and got like a solid supply of cialis + viagara to be a monster during cycle lmao. I really just wanna crush it sexually for 8 weeks because Toronto is so dope when the weather is nice. Provided that my andros come in okay august-september cycle will be nice. August will have the summer vibes anad september is really fun here too because weather is still great + all the new freshman in uni arriving !!!

[Bankai9000]

Just wanted to say. I had my first NAP TODAY.
I slept only 3h tonight cuz I was out, and god did I get bad at pickup actually. Feeling disgusted by myself whole day haha XD

But yeah, 2 months and never even thought about a nap due to the overwired feeling.
I mean I hid and put all phones off and it took me like 5/6hours of laying down to get that 1h nap. BUT IT WAS MY FIRST NAP BIACES xD!


Ay and I send my bloods to a moms friend who is passionate about health. And she said pretty sure just by looking at them that I've parasites in my body, might explain eating the 6k (she didnt know about that).
Ya guys have any advice for that? I might just go 18/6 IF and focus on even less sugar. I got some oregano oil here(fuk is that shiet intense XD). Not really in favor of taking any pharmaceuticals XD. My Dad is like "man just take that pill for parasites and you be good, it's not an antibiotic or so" but I've no idea. Never dealt with such stuff.
Maybe I should just do IF with slight calorie restriction and throw in that oregano oil + cloves + garlic 3x a day.

[Cdsnuts]

Just wanted to say. I had my first NAP TODAY.
I slept only 3h tonight cuz I was out, and god did I get bad at pickup actually. Feeling disgusted by myself whole day haha XD

But yeah, 2 months and never even thought about a nap due to the overwired feeling.
I mean I hid and put all phones off and it took me like 5/6hours of laying down to get that 1h nap. BUT IT WAS MY FIRST NAP BIACES xD!


Ay and I send my bloods to a moms friend who is passionate about health. And she said pretty sure just by looking at them that I've parasites in my body, might explain eating the 6k (she didnt know about that).
Ya guys have any advice for that? I might just go 18/6 IF and focus on even less sugar. I got some oregano oil here(fuk is that shiet intense XD). Not really in favor of taking any pharmaceuticals XD. My Dad is like "man just take that pill for parasites and you be good, it's not an antibiotic or so" but I've no idea. Never dealt with such stuff.
Maybe I should just do IF with slight calorie restriction and throw in that oregano oil + cloves + garlic 3x a day.

Water fasting.....Starves them out.

[DKnighten]

Water fasting.....Starves them out.

CD and others, what's the longest you recommend doing an at-home water fast for? Like, the longest without any likely problems and still very beneficial for recovery?

[Cdsnuts]

CD and others, what's the longest you recommend doing an at-home water fast for? Like, the longest without any likely problems and still very beneficial for recovery?

No longer then seven days...Max, at home.

[Bankai9000]

Crazy how time flies, 2 weeks last post.
Had my first full 9 hour sleep tonight without waking up once! (but night before like 3h xd, still this is huge!)

And I will do another water fast, but in 1month and then focus on guthealth. Can't do it during summer time, but am excited to do one in a non-stressed mindset this time.
Keeping up diet(tons of anti-inflammatory stuff), minerals, herbs and the whole protocol going. Probably the biggest change in my life has been going from stresschaser to mostly stressavoidance. I still "crave" the stress, but it's manageable with sum fukups here and there.

[Cdsnuts]

Crazy how time flies, 2 weeks last post.
Had my first full 9 hour sleep tonight without waking up once! (but night before like 3h xd, still this is huge!)

And I will do another water fast, but in 1month and then focus on guthealth. Can't do it during summer time, but am excited to do one in a non-stressed mindset this time.
Keeping up diet(tons of anti-inflammatory stuff), minerals, herbs and the whole protocol going. Probably the biggest change in my life has been going from stresschaser to mostly stressavoidance. I still "crave" the stress, but it's manageable with sum fukups here and there.

Just stick to the program and don't throw in any add ons.....do it as laid out and you'll get there eventually.

[Bankai9000]

Just stick to the program and don't throw in any add ons.....do it as laid out and you'll get there eventually.

I know I know that fighting symptoms isn't the way. GOTTA ASK THO HAHA xD
I'm doing way better every day. Just curious if there's some advise to these ones left for now.


- eye floaters, sometimes really intense(most often after eating or swimming in the sea, gutbiome maybe?), I can't figure out how to fix those and am interested in what's the issue with that

- producing more bile? I'm poopin like daily now, never did pre-pfs(3days). My digestion is slowly getting better since crash, before it felt as if my stomach and colon weren't like seperated. As if my food would just sack down the moment I started running or so. This is gone(fixed leaky gut? xD), but I can feel like shiet is moving through my lower abdomen. Aswell have pain in left abdomen when drinking alc(yes I'm avoiding it) and eating sometimes fatty.

- penile pain, I still have bending+rotation, and pains down there, it's probably the scariest of all sides since it's something I really hope won't get worse with time, bending/pain is freaking me out a bit

- I'm actually stopping to wake up during sleep WOOHO xD, I feel pretty much like shiet tho for the first 20min after waking up

- my lines on my body are almost nonexistent now when I 1. sleep early and 2. have no stress 3. no shit food too late, hope my face/body can catchup in a year or so. If I touch alc they stay instantly for a full hour. Seems like liver damage/heart issue

- having muscle wastage, I'm hitting the gym every 4th day now, but I'm getting weaker by the week xd, def not in a kcal deficit, finally broke the habit on overeating with sugar/fruits

- heart pain, sometimes my heart feels like being squeezed hard af for full days. Think maybe more 2months and the "pounding"(moving my upper body while beating) will be gone too.

[CSM25]

--sleep lines digestion seem to have major improvements. keep it up.

palpitatons stress, cortisol effects seems normal with gym and or coming out of this severe chronic fatigue syndrome like issue (i.e. PFS).
all that stuff sounds normal and possible. takes time to heal the rotation. I am not sure but it was better and worse at times, but just chipping away helped. maybe bathmate helped others here in that regard, I did not use it personally. gym at all is better than none. eliminate fruits and sugar totally perhaps. unless you're refeeding a fast. not sure. i did keto or near it after rebuilding enzymes for vegetables, then eggs, meat, carbs etc (not sure of the order, i followed mattyb's advice on another site -- orion etc did it too, but its on the wiki).

likely i was and may still be (possibly due to stimulant use or just being an exercise addict a long time) catabolic. but then again... no workouts 3-5months i usually retain much of muscle most of shape, tho i haven't had anywhere near such a break in a few yrs outside of illness (fin initially). impossible to say if leaky gut is fixed, you feel good, keep at it, some things fast, some things slowly build up gradually. things normalize after repetition. it's like learning or starting a new job, eventually its just routine like brushing flossing gargling and exercise or whatever. no alcohol one year or so.

im fine alcohol wise but i know it lowers cognitive tests (some competitive thing im working on , not due to pfs at all. initially ya im sure it kept me sick. thats why i drank 5x maybe 10x total and like 11.5months after fasting last year). mostly only bc of stress unrelated to pfs. i like stimulants a lot i barely drank coffee till 2nd quarter 3rd quarter a lot but i can go weeks w/o it (tho tough habit to break). if you fast extended period of time most eye symptoms likely go away. floaters this and that... tk time quite possibly.or it takes time with randro/4andro, possibly herbs.

I couldn't pinpoint exact causal relation between my symptom list and a particular systematic impairment in my physiology, because that's impossible and also a waste of effort. Set it and forget it, count em off later when life in general is 70 80 % you'll be pleaseantly surprised most is gone. prohoromones, fasting,etc ... are key. pct, waiting between cycles. not overdosing. refeeding correctly. strength training daily or perhaps 4-5d or similar is the norm. watching carbs. not going too heavy on fat. most pfsers are slow oxidizers, and lowering fat intake and upping carbs a bit may help, but good carbs. i ate rice potatoes fibrous vegetables. i didnt tempt juice till later, tho i did homemade veggie juice near 3 weeks a couple weeks so 5 weeks and breuss a couple weeks. i said fuck it and just fasted till life was liveable-ish again. it kicked off everything took me from killing myself daily and stagnation to positive change... then extreme change.

[Bankai9000]

Yo which herbs can be taken daily I can't find it. I know about Pine Pollen, but what else? How's Shilajit?

[Bankai9000]

Just asked this on hackstasis, and want here too.

Since 3 days I got pain in my lower genital area, like way before my penis. Kinda where I sit.
After 1 day it felt as if it clogged up, and now I can barely get an errection.
Like it's obstructing like 95% of my blood flow in that area. So I'm guessing it's plaquebuildup. I have high cholesterol (220) and high estrogen. I got all bloodtests if more results are needed.
I've had tons of heartissues too. Which now suddenly seem almost gone. Maybe a clot passed my heart and moved now down below and clogged up my freaking penis.

Is there ANYTHING I could try like NOW to make it better? I'm doing already lowcarb or only more carbs after training(fixing insulin resistence I guess..)
I've beaten like 85% of my symptoms, and now starting with impotency is a tragedy ;/ I want kids ;/ This feels like a physiqual obstacle now.

Advice me anything.. high dose of niacin? Nattokinase? No greens or vit k foods? Anything I can get in the pharmacy. I'll go out and get it instantly.
I can literally feel that thing 24/7 in the area from the inside, but not from the outside with touch.

Doing keto now for 1-2days to get more ketoadapted and then probably going into a waterfast till this shit resolves.
I could handle a lot of stuff but if that sticks, na I won't be able to.

and fakin hate the idea of doing a waterfast now, I finally seem to have beaten muscle wastage. My gut seems to be way better and SiBo or whatever seems to be low, thought I'm finally on track to get out of this alltogether.
Aswell as could finally get good refreshing sleep. Tonight was probably the first night I didn't got only a lot of sleep, but felt actually not in pain after waking up. But yeh I'll try whatever.

[Bankai9000]

Am in a very very dark place atm. this isn't something I can actively handle. Starting waterfast tomorrow and will keep it till it resolves, idc how long.

[Bankai9000]

Ye I stopped freaking out. Can't lie I almost offed myself yesterday holy shit was I mentally in a dark place.
So my plan is now to fix it, but I don't really know how. And I'm extremely scared deep inside that this is some irreversible nerve damage. I also kinda struggle A BIT with postpee dribble now(never before, not even after crash). Sux cuz especially the week prior I was finally sleeping well, tracking it and just being like, happy >.>...

Wanna do minimum of 10/11days waterfast. Not even testing myself to hope for more steady nocturnals and let do autophagy its thing.
Doing daily pelvic tension exercises now. I have no idea if this is actually pelvic related, but well it is something to keep me... hoping.
I'll do the fast minimum of 10/11 days and then just until "hunger returns", I'll go back to healthy eating. Will add herbs after a week and try the tomato juice protocol along the line for a month. I'll try to keep myself together that long..

My latest DHT was over the maximum range, 980 or so. Range 255-950. As I see high dht is no libido and ed aswell. But I feel overall very good. My heart is still bit messed up but at least I don't feel this chestpressure anymore.
My estrogen is on the maximum of the range. And I start feeling it. My tits are burning again as they did right after crash. It's scary cuz I'm definitely living antiestrogenic, probably trying to catch up my dht?
Don't know what to do to stop my DHT from rising, 130 pre pfs, 750 or so 1month later, 980 4months later.

[basementdweller]

Ye I stopped freaking out. Can't lie I almost offed myself yesterday holy shit was I mentally in a dark place.
So my plan is now to fix it, but I don't really know how. And I'm extremely scared deep inside that this is some irreversible nerve damage. I also kinda struggle A BIT with postpee dribble now(never before, not even after crash). Sux cuz especially the week prior I was finally sleeping well, tracking it and just being like, happy >.>...

Wanna do minimum of 10/11days waterfast. Not even testing myself to hope for more steady nocturnals and let do autophagy its thing.
Doing daily pelvic tension exercises now. I have no idea if this is actually pelvic related, but well it is something to keep me... hoping.
I'll do the fast minimum of 10/11 days and then just until "hunger returns", I'll go back to healthy eating. Will add herbs after a week and try the tomato juice protocol along the line for a month. I'll try to keep myself together that long..

My latest DHT was over the maximum range, 980 or so. Range 255-950. As I see high dht is no libido and ed aswell. But I feel overall very good. My heart is still bit messed up but at least I don't feel this chestpressure anymore.
My estrogen is on the maximum of the range. And I start feeling it. My tits are burning again as they did right after crash. It's scary cuz I'm definitely living antiestrogenic, probably trying to catch up my dht?
Don't know what to do to stop my DHT from rising, 130 pre pfs, 750 or so 1month later, 980 4months later.

Looks like you're at the 4 month mark? A lot of guys including myself experience the worst of it around that time for some reason. I wouldn't do any long fasts if you're suicidal though.

[xxaleksi]

Yeah four months post crash was the worst time for me too. Just ride it out bro

[Bankai9000]

Update:
stopped the waterfast at almost 7 days, on the 6th day I felt like going deaf and surreal worldview so I stopped... the first fast 10/11days I felt actually great and could easily go longer, but not this time/
Short: no improvement with the dikk

and thank you guys, these comments with the 4month mark really helped me there a lot


The fast fixed suprisingly:
- Had right shoulder pain for a decade, after PFS crash my shoulderpain appeared the same minute I ate something, literally instant, EVERY time.
It's gone, no more shoulder pain. During the first fast it was gone during the fast, but came back 1day after refeed, now it seems to be gone completely.
- My body calmed down even more, my heart doesn't have pressure anymore, doesn't beat THAT strong anymore, which leads to way better sleep since my body doesn't get thrown around every 1sec.

Negatives are:
- my eyefloaters got WAY worse after the fast, which kinda scares me that my gutbiome is worse now, but I'm eating extremely healthy, maybe too much fruit tho
- 0 change in the sexual aspect, I'm like 80% anesthetized in the bottomside, penis and balls feel just disattached (similar to pfs crash, but this time i feel 20%, while after crash i felt 0)
After crash my night errections were like 90% even when I was fully anesthetized, now they max out at like 30%.

I freaked out and put mental stress on my body now 3 times during this whole stuff, otherwise I'm extremely relaxed, just going on with life trying to "ignore" it and stay as positive as possible.

Doing pelvic streching and exercises
Trying to move much, and 3x a day for 10-15min at least get blood circulating strongly
Started serrapeptase and nattokinase yesterday
Eating raw beets daily in the morning
Lots of blood thinning spices, turmeric, ginger, garlic.
Sauna twice a week for 15m.
Whole TMO protocol daily. Rotating herbs since yesterday again.

I wonder if several shorter fasts even have any benefits. I could easily incorporate 3day fasts(or one 36h every week for example with a keto day prior/after) here and there, but going for another 2week one just after that one here seems so hard to fit into real life(esp taking 1-2weeks of refeed into that).


all I care is the sexual aspect, I don't know what's going on or what happened, so I feel a bit at a loss, and am inside of course fearful that this is a "new me" now, it didn't feel like a crash as in the beginning, more like something that piled up and happened, and is now here to stick.
My skin is getting worse too... wrinkling up everywhere.. sleeping wrinkles barely heal during the whole day >.>

[Bankai9000]

Yo, I'm good ^^

[DKnighten]

Yo, I'm good ^^

Already turning the corner on this man? That's awesome.

[slader1]

Ye I stopped freaking out. Can't lie I almost offed myself yesterday holy shit was I mentally in a dark place.
So my plan is now to fix it, but I don't really know how. And I'm extremely scared deep inside that this is some irreversible nerve damage. I also kinda struggle A BIT with postpee dribble now(never before, not even after crash). Sux cuz especially the week prior I was finally sleeping well, tracking it and just being like, happy >.>...

Wanna do minimum of 10/11days waterfast. Not even testing myself to hope for more steady nocturnals and let do autophagy its thing.
Doing daily pelvic tension exercises now. I have no idea if this is actually pelvic related, but well it is something to keep me... hoping.
I'll do the fast minimum of 10/11 days and then just until "hunger returns", I'll go back to healthy eating. Will add herbs after a week and try the tomato juice protocol along the line for a month. I'll try to keep myself together that long..

My latest DHT was over the maximum range, 980 or so. Range 255-950. As I see high dht is no libido and ed aswell. But I feel overall very good. My heart is still bit messed up but at least I don't feel this chestpressure anymore.
My estrogen is on the maximum of the range. And I start feeling it. My tits are burning again as they did right after crash. It's scary cuz I'm definitely living antiestrogenic, probably trying to catch up my dht?
Don't know what to do to stop my DHT from rising, 130 pre pfs, 750 or so 1month later, 980 4months later.

Sounds like your estrogen is too high, (and maybe your serotonin and cortisol as well). Your DHT is high but perhaps your allopregnenalone is not? Allo is important for nerve health. That is why when I take 5adhp, my erections feel better and my nerve pain greatly improves for a time.

[Bankai9000]

My errections now are amazing. I wake up 2-3x a night and I have literally a boner always during sleep. Doesn't even matter if I fap or don't. I'm definitely too horny kinda, but it might be backflash from being full impotent with an anesthetized dikk for 3 weeks and now everything feels better.
It literally felt like an "aftereffect" of PFS. My heart was in pain for a long time after crash, felt like a clot, heavy pressure, then my heart stopped hurting and same day my dick stopped working and went full numb, night errections maxing out at like 20/30%. Full forced errections maxing out at 35%.

After 2 weeks I think I was able to pinpoint slowly where the "blockage" is happening. So I did warming therapy with a rice sock on ma dikk for 1h a day total whenever possible. Added serrapeptase and nattokinase after the waterfast and I could literally feel shiet moving down there during the "therapy".
Might've been pelvic related too, or whole body misallignment, I had huge backpain during these 2-3weeks, which is also gone.

Same day my dik started working I was out, drank a little, had great mood, and got kinda force kissed by a girl while her husband was sitting right beside her ahahahaha so I guess I'm good

Overaaall I'm in good shape. Mood is good, very negative upon wakin up tho for the first 30min xD.
I have some trouble falling asleep early (like 22/23o clock), but I had that always lol. I have no problem falling asleep at 2am, but it's too late when I wake up daily at 7/8, so I'm getting a bit sleep deprived. Since PFS I feel steady like trying to catch up on it, but I will manage dat.

And ye my estrogen is too high, don't really know what to do. I'm eating highly antiestrogenic, greens, bitter veggies and added now mushrooms daily to go even more against it. But maybe I shouldn't even bother, I feel good. So MAYBE it will fix itself when my body pulls in required minerals?

Single supps don't seem to affect me at all, zinc/herbs, ala, cysteine whatever. I can eat high carb or 0 carb, nothing really influences much or noticeable how I feel. More energetic on carbs tho.
But yeh estro is too high, and I slowly feel titties burning again, so it's worrysome. Trying to focus on sleep, lower sugar, liverhealth and gym, those should maximize test prod which hopefully will drive estro down.
I think I had almost liverfailure after crash, would explain the whole body edema I experienced. So damaged liver might be a cause for high estro, but idk. Eating daily raw beets in the morning and will continue with serrapeptase and natto from next week. I will keep eating healthy and do some more fasting, but shorter periods. 3 days with 2 keto days prior and after. Probably keep doing that once a month.
From my understanding there is nothing better for the liver than fasting. But gotta be careful with kidneys. Def have some pain there.

[Bankai9000]

So to update maybe positives and not only negatives here. I posted this almost identical on hackstasis like a week ago

I got completely wasted on Friday last week. So that makes the 2nd time this month in quite a short period of time, both times bigger amounts, prob like 0,8l~ vodka, prob more the 2nd time xd. I was so drunk I crashed on my bike and got a fukd hand, several bruises and scratched face. And I cut myself while doing food afterwards too XD
So I'm curious to see how this will heal^^ especially the cut went pretty deep, woke up to a bloodbath scene XDD

It's just so easy to get a bit crazy while feeling shiet for so long and then going out and feeling happy around people.

Overall I feel like I'm doing good, I think I feel way better the days after alc compared to me pre-PFS and after PFS. I didn't drink for first 2 months after crash any alc, but got hammered at the 3rd and felt like dying for several days with some upswing moments. Now after all that fasting, detoxing, seaswimming, saunas etc., it literally feels as if my body can handle alc way better. I feel hangover but not like dying. The things that occur after alc at night are pretty severe insomnia and completely fuked heartbeat for like 2days. Heartbeat is fkd anyway, insomnia I can get like 5h sleep a night. This time even my skin didn't had these crazy indentures for long the day after.(I usually still get those after nosleep/stress/alc/overeating at night).

But the real positives, I'm horny af. Errections strong and feel amazing. Feel is actually too good and I struggle somewhat now with PE, and not really sure how to tackle that.
I feel alpha as hell, people like me, girls like me, guys like me, everyone is very open and talkactive to me. Even female cashiers and shiet, feels like everyone wants to talk their stuff out to me. I'm calm inside and voice is on point. This extreme quietness and calmness just came out of nowhere last week and I love it.

My skin seems to not get MUCH worse the last 1-2weeks, it felt as if I age so much every single week, this is the first time it seems not to get crazy worse. I do not look tired nor do I have dry skin lol. Damage is done and will probably stay and I'm ok with that. My hairloss is in absolute overdrive. Hoped with all that zinc/manganese/magnesium/vit c/b's and all these electrolytes stuff, anti-inflammatory foods it might halt or even get better but nada, it's literally flying off.
Dickpains still around, feels a bit like thickened blood with shite in it. So back to the protocol now boyz.

[Bankai9000]

and another brief one from today now
I slept like shiet last last week (2-4h) and catched up last 2 days (5-8h) and god I'm feeling soo relaxed. Yawning and just having this chill feeling. It's like my parasympathetic state took fully over.
My nocturnal errections and morning wood are literally better then pre PFS now. I have them EVERY single night/morning and in a real solid way. I still have quite heavy dickpains, but I'm ignoring that xD, shiet works. Bending still there but errectionquality so good that it doesn't bother me.

My bruises from the bikecrash heal fast. Especially on my face lol, the crust fell off 2 days later and even my Dad was like it's crazy how fast that healed xD. so yeah, fuk PFS, doing gucci.
Even feeling a bit illish, sneezing here and there and bit sore throat. Feels nice

Funny sidenote: I can't cut onions anymore, literally CAN'T xD. Even if my Dad cuts them I have to leave the freaking kitchen and even the next room or I break out in tears xD, Burns so hard I'm legit crying like a waterfall haha

[Bankai9000]

Didn't update for bit, lel time flies.
I had a downswing again for 2-3weeks sexually shortly after posting haha. But it's all pretty good now.

Just wanted to say thank you to all of guys here and especially CD man. Just really happy I found this place early on, and fucking grateful this here exists xd

[Cdsnuts]

Didn't update for bit, lel time flies.
I had a downswing again for 2-3weeks sexually shortly after posting haha. But it's all pretty good now.

Just wanted to say thank you to all of guys here and especially CD man. Just really happy I found this place early on, and fucking grateful this here exists xd

Thanks.

Just do us all a favor and recover, and then share that here. Best thing you could do for yourself and this community. Keep it up.

[Bankai9000]

Thanks.

Just do us all a favor and recover, and then share that here. Best thing you could do for yourself and this community. Keep it up.

When I get there for sure I will!

My daily life was slowly stressing me out in a negative way. Flew to Spain and will chill here for 2 weeks. Swimming in the sea daily, tanking the sun to raise vit D, eating healthy and sleeping whenever I want. I'll focus on circadian rythms after New Year. Now I'm just here to chill tf out, enjoy the climate and peace

[Cdsnuts]

When I get there for sure I will!

My daily life was slowly stressing me out in a negative way. Flew to Spain and will chill here for 2 weeks. Swimming in the sea daily, tanking the sun to raise vit D, eating healthy and sleeping whenever I want. I'll focus on circadian rythms after New Year. Now I'm just here to chill tf out, enjoy the climate and peace

That sounds great. I would love to be doing that right now! It's balls cold in New Jersey right now.

[Bankai9000]

Yaaa so here it is.
First week in Spain was fkin dopee, the views, the people and their lifestyle is just to admire. The chill these people have is beyond imagination in countries where I live xD.
Then I got hit with the flu/cold. SUPER FKIN HARD.

First night my brain shutoff and I barely remember anything, vivid lucid pictures laying in my bed for 2days without even watching 10min on youtube or so cuz I was so exhausted.
Then 9 days of high fever 38,8celcius, severe strep throat, then bronchitis. Slept during the whole thing maybe 2-3h a night. Couldn't lay down cuz any pressure on my corpus made me unable to breathe lol. Yesterday and today I finally hit like 4-6h, but still waking up every hour and coughing the life out of myself. Drenched in sweat aswell every night still.., temperature finally fell yesterday and now I hover at 35,9-36,4.
Feels damn good that I beat it without any antibiotics(at 7/8th day I wasn't so sure anymore LOL), so now I'm refeeding on fresh made bone broths and veggies and good food. Hope that in 2-3days I can finally sleep again and slowly get actually better in all aspects :D

[Turnover25]

Yaaa so here it is.
First week in Spain was fkin dopee, the views, the people and their lifestyle is just to admire. The chill these people have is beyond imagination in countries where I live xD.
Then I got hit with the flu/cold. SUPER FKIN HARD.

First night my brain shutoff and I barely remember anything, vivid lucid pictures laying in my bed for 2days without even watching 10min on youtube or so cuz I was so exhausted.
Then 9 days of high fever 38,8celcius, severe strep throat, then bronchitis. Slept during the whole thing maybe 2-3h a night. Couldn't lay down cuz any pressure on my corpus made me unable to breathe lol. Yesterday and today I finally hit like 4-6h, but still waking up every hour and coughing the life out of myself. Drenched in sweat aswell every night still.., temperature finally fell yesterday and now I hover at 35,9-36,4.
Feels damn good that I beat it without any antibiotics(at 7/8th day I wasn't so sure anymore LOL), so now I'm refeeding on fresh made bone broths and veggies and good food. Hope that in 2-3days I can finally sleep again and slowly get actually better in all aspects :D

I just got hit with the cold/flu as well, took about 10 days off the gym and relaxed. Feeling better now, I didn’t take any meds or antibiotics either so headaches were fun. It was odd, when I was sick it was like every single symptom came back to haunt me and I was miserable, I rode it out and now I’m feeling great, also feels like I’m in an upswing now. Hopefully it was a good sign.

[Alchemy]

Seems everyone is getting hit with the flu/cold.

I also got hit with it this thursday so yesterday used it as an opportunity to fast for the day as didn't feel like eating and it's gone. Just don't feel ready to jump back into exercising yet but tempted to train tomo if energy is good

[Bankai9000]

Well this flu was absolutely awful. I literally couldn't leave my bed or sleep or breathe XD. It's all over but my throat is still swollen and doesnt seem to get better xD

Slept over 6h in a row for 5/7 nights this week tho soo Fak PFS let's goo, maybe the illness has done some magic. I mean two weeks of high fever prob killed everything not needed XD

Might be the 3 weeks of 3h sleep a night but still, this is great xD forgot how good it feels to not wake up during the night hah

[Bankai9000]

I'm feeling great, enjoying the shit out of life!

[Hulk Smash]

Keep it up! I found myself humming songs in the middle of the canal street chaos. We doing something right.

[Bankai9000]

It's a big post. Wondered if I should post it here too. But I feel more "home" here so there we go

And pls, I'm not telling anyone to drink or so. It's your own personal decision to do whatever. I think alc and some stuff have been a part for me personally. But I've done everything else aswell.


I actually wrote 90% of this yesterday, fell asleep with my laptop tho and glad I didn't send it out ahah. But now the next morning I'm even more stocked.

I don't know when I drank last year. Maybe october. So like 2 month break, got drunk at New Years.
Prior New years I had a downswing with ma dikk again for like 2months, especially sensitivy was way down and felt like blockage.
Blacked out on New Years and like 3-4days later my sensitivity came comming back more and more.

So now again 1 month break and got hammered as hell yesterday. Wodka, beer, wine, champaigne everything XD. Why I'm so stocked about it is, that I've 0 indentures. I've slept full 7h.
My skin indentures which made me freak out so much in the beginning usually only kept appearing for the last months when I got drunk and didnt sleep much.
Today nothing, not even a bloated face(even less than normally xd). I don't even feel hangover 1h after waking up now. And I did all the shit, tons fried junk food, tons of cakes and chocolate to that.

Drunk 2 weeks ago like 3 beer over prolonged time and 1 coctail. Wasn't even drunk, but felt like DEATH the next morning. as if I would've chocked a 0,7vodka prior sleeping

Thanks to all of this I started living the shit out of life. I go out all the time now, I just drink way less, things where I would've found excuses for prior PFS I'm just doing everything. Still way too distant when it comes to women for now. I kinda can't deal with that baggade right now.
Fk my anxiety, we just got one life. All this really showed me this body is vulnerable, and dying or living miserable is an option.
I eat a billion times healthier compared to pre crash. I just now notice how often I actually fucked my body over on a almost daily basis. I still do it, but it's way rarer, and I always try to give more health compared to the possible damage I'd do.


Negatives:
- ma dikk isnt fully back, but it's like 90%, top doesnt inflate fully. But if it stays like that I'm happy anyway
- eye floaters are so intense I can barely read from my fkin laptop, looking in the sky is a joke
- I usually have a tremendously hard time falling asleep, I'm just not tired usually till 3am, so I go to sleep at 3 and wake up at 7-9
- it seems like my morning circadian rythm is crazy on point, my evening one 0
- ppl were asking me about brain fog and I always said no, but now I think I always had crazy brain fog way before fin and thought it's just normal to feel terrible in the mornings, but now sometimes when I manage several days in a row to get 8h sleep(which is rare af) I feel actuallt great at 10 am already and not just at 18+ where I get prone to stay awake cuz I feel alive LOL I just felt shitty all my life till like 16-18o clock XD
- I got pretty severe back pain, kidneys burning, honestly scared of a tumor or so
- my hair is gonerino, I'd love to have it, but I don't care about all of this like before. I look shit and accepted it, I got my brain somewhat functioning and legs and arms, thats fakin great
- my skin has a hard time healing. I don't feel like getting wrinkled anymore that crazy like early, but the bike crash I had what 4months ago, I still have purple skin on my face and hand which didn't get back to normal. It is healing tho, but VERY slow.
- I seem to lose teeth enamel aswell.. scary shite
- biggest issue is still the heart, pounds way too strong, sometimes off beat. Pulse/sys/dia is good tho, the feeling of it pounding rough is just tremendously annoying. It's hard to fully relax ever like this. Was better after the flu for 2-3weeks but now shitty again
- quite a hard time to warm the body up after cold exposure

Positives:
- rotation on axis almost gone
- bending almost gone, i got a slight bend to the left but it doesnt even look unordinary
- dikk isnt pre pfs but idc, good enough
- sensitivity is full back, morning errections are back now for a full month aswell
- no urination/bladder issues/or burns etc.
- brain dick connection is great
- no brain issues, pain or so
- gut seems good, I can eat whatever without adverse events, no crazy gas or discomfort. Not feel stuffed anymore forever. Even did a sushi all you can eat like 2 weeks ago and overate till I couldn't breathe in anymore. Still all fine after this xD
- my muscle soreness is crazy. I hit gym lightly and I'm out for 6 days, pain everywhere xD
- I SWEAT GREAT, Like srsly.
Now it's NUTS, I sweat from EVERYwhere. This is fkin gold since after crash I couldnt sweat and it took me soo long to start sweating from various places, now it seems to be better than pre pfs. And it's like, really on point I mean. I don't start sweating easily or so, just seems really adequate.
- First 7?weeks I was freaking out about my urine being crystal clear no matter what I did, even if I ate tons of beets and took huge amounts of b vitamins it just stayed crystal clear ALL the time. Now I can't even get it crystal clear no matter what the fuck I do xD. Drink 2-3 liter and don't eat half day, always a yellowish tint at least.
- Not waking up anymore at fked up hours in the night, like 1:30 or 3 or every hour. I sleep good till at least 7 am, love it
- I don't take this life for granted anymore, and I went from trying to destroy my body almost daily for 2 decades to dearly taking care of it
- friends seem to love the attention they get now. Everybody actually wants to do stuff. Just gotta ask and encourage people a bit. Most people are stuck in routines, and same time not interested in getting drunk pointless anymore. They just wait for the opportunity to try out new stuff when someone pushes them a little

I'm not taking any supplement or herbs now for over 2months. Sometimes like 200mg of magnesium when I feel like I drank a bit or ate not enough greens or overate on cheese.
I'm doing a lot of flow exercises, yoga, chigong, paida, just warming and moving the body when I wake up and stretch in the evening. Usually 10-15min 2x a day.

Next week I'll be back in Poland, will chill a bit and then do another 5-7day waterfast(on starting day I'll be in ketosis).
After that reintroduce the herbs and maybe run 1-4weeks of the electrolyte protocol. Or take the electrolyte protocol supps some days of the week for several months, we will see.
I will also increase cold exposure and heat exposure when there. Gym aswell since I didn't really had a place to go for the past 3months.

[Bankai9000]

Am on day 4 of my waterfast right now and just wanted to say, I woke up feelin like shit XD. BUT HOLY I feel amazing af right now, the mental clarity and the featherlight feeling of the body is just SO DOPE. The first 2-3days were soo hard LOL.
It's my first waterfast I'm doing while feeling pretty good, it was SOO difficult to motivate myself go through the first 2 days LOL xD. I had to constantly watch videos about autophagy and shite to keep myself motivated haha. Complete opposite since in the first 2 fasts I felt so bad that fasting gave me so much hope that I was really glad that they "exist" xd. I planned to go for at least 4 and probably like 7 days now.^^

I belive anything below 3/4days is a waste of time unless you're in ketosis for awhile prior. But I did only one ketodiet day pre fast so meh. And don't wanna go over 5-7days since refeeding is soo important and I'm scared of life comming in the way(social interactions with food involved).

Thought I'm alone but ma Dad is comming today and stays for awhile so idk how to keep doing it since I have to make him think I'm eating since he's dedconvinced that a human would die without 7days of food xd

And the timing for waterfasts is just never right. I hate to be working with people and doing all this stuff xd, I lacked so much aggression the last 2-3days which I needed, so I just bitched out and ignored problems I should've tackled like a lil bitch.
If I'd be studying I just wouldn't go anywhere for a week and enjoy the damn peace LOL.

Well that's it, keep up de fight boyzz

[Bankai9000]

1571

dis is me btw, so there's a face to these shitposts now KEK
it'sa from like 2 weeks ago, I got a bit fat and that's probably at like 23% bodyfat if I'd guess.

Can make it look way bigger and rippd with better lightning but let's be honest here haha.
Even tho I barely hit the gym for the past 4months the good diet seems to do it's job, I mean I didn't go for 3 months in a row lel cuz of sickness, Spain and Christmas not being at home.

Hope after this waterfast I can focus on getting back into a regular schedule of 2-3x a week of gym and get in the best shape on my life in the next 2-3years and maybe get somewhat decent even to this summer.

[Cdsnuts]

1571

dis is me btw, so there's a face to these shitposts now KEK
it'sa from like 2 weeks ago, I got a bit fat and that's probably at like 23% bodyfat if I'd guess.

Can make it look way bigger and rippd with better lightning but let's be honest here haha.
Even tho I barely hit the gym for the past 4months the good diet seems to do it's job, I mean I didn't go for 3 months in a row lel cuz of sickness, Spain and Christmas not being at home.

Hope after this waterfast I can focus on getting back into a regular schedule of 2-3x a week of gym and get in the best shape on my life in the next 2-3years and maybe get somewhat decent even to this summer.

You look like you're in decent shape. I'd guess lower then 23% BF....give yourself some credit. lol

[Bankai9000]

Ty Cd mate hah, it's the first time in my life I actually live healthy, very curious to see where it will bring me in 2-5years :D


Anything for eyefloaters? Shit is driving me insane, there's almost 0 improvement on them since crash I think. Thought that waterfasts might fix them due to tissuerepair, since I guessed that just tissue became loose when I crashed on Fin, since I had this insane physical brainpain and inflammation everywhere there, but weirdly after waterfasts they seem worse.

They seem more annoying when I 1) drink too much alc, 2) sleep bad or not much, 3) waterfast, 4) general higher stress, but otherwise I can't pinpoint anything and I can't find anything really about them either. Only got few anecdotes of people doing keto + IF fixing them after 3years when I asked around on yt, on reddit seems to be uncurable lel, but well that's reddit a shitehole too xD

[Yus]

Bro; had eye floaters since I was young, and it hasn't changed ever since. I don't see how PFS attributes to eye floaters, more like an increase visually, or rather sensitivity that allows you to see them, they're like tiny debris in your retina, and I don't see how you'll remove them without actual surgery, but if you do know how, let me know xD

[Bankai9000]

Well some have diabetes1 since birth xd. I had them as a child cuz I remember them. But I'm 100% sure I never had them in my adult life. My floaters are pretty strong, there's no chance I can not notice them whatever I do. Don't have to be outside, just looking on my pc screen makes that shit pretty annoying.

What I found is that some ppl have them in general and usually kids have them for awhile, but for most it seems that they get them at the age of 20-30. And usually they seem to get worse till your vision gets more fucked and fucked. But that's probably the same with any "illness" since most ppl eat shit and live life unhealthy anyway + aging process.

And idk how fin attributes to eye floaters, but it was one of the main things I saw back then on pph even before I took fin. I remember checking myself looking into the sky prefin just for the luls, and I had absolute 0. Now it's probably one of my main bothering symptoms left. And it's waay more annoying than I'd like to admit and a 24/7 reminder all of this happened

[alphacfi]

I have the floaters too. They showed up about a month after crash. Maxout says he had them and they went away. But they are apparently the last thing to go away.

[Bankai9000]

jacknap yo pls check hack wrote ya priv^^

[Cdsnuts]

jacknap yo pls check hack wrote ya priv^^

???

[jacknap]

jacknap yo pls check hack wrote ya priv^^

no idea what your'e saying lol. just read everything maxout and cd posted they answer everything you can think of. at this point it just gets redundant. yes everything short of your dick falling off will recover. PFS isn't as bad as it feels / you think it is. the body can heal when you give it what it needs (the protocol)

[Turnover25]

no idea what your'e saying lol. just read everything maxout and cd posted they answer everything you can think of. at this point it just gets redundant. yes everything short of your dick falling off will recover. PFS isn't as bad as it feels / you think it is. the body can heal when you give it what it needs (the protocol)

I think he’s saying he wrote you a private message on hackstasis lol

[Bankai9000]

Hah Turnover is right I just wanted someone to talk to about pickup xD

[Bankai9000]

Allright old boyz, this is sth like a cry for help. Having this issue for 2 1/2 months now..

I'm gonna write a bit cuz I wanna be detailed to bring over what it is I'm going through, in case anyone could maybe give me some words of advice

I fixed kinda everything from PFS, sleep, emotions, skin, gut, my dick was great for a year.


If some of u remember at the 4th month mark I lost my dick for 3weeks, felt as if sth clogged me down there or so. I didn't know what happened, I just fasted, did extreme cold exposure, was stretching constantly and putting warm shit on my dick. After 3-4weeks it felt as if everything untensed and I was suddenly good to go. From the start it didn't rly feel like "pfs", but more like sth physical, as if my bloodsupply gets cutoff in(above) my ass.

Now exactly a year later, I got the same shit in the EXACT circumstances, I was sitting for 2-3weeks, playing videos games all night (stress cuz competetive) and fapping constantly. I mean my dick was fantastic, summerwork got over and I was just enjoying life like in old times XD
The last time I got this it happened EXACTLY like now, 2-3weeks sitting and fapping.

So woke up in the night, numb dick etc.
My issues now are
- cant get any errection while relaxed (brain dick connection is there tho), dick just fills to like 10%, i can get an errection when I pressure my pelvic like mad, its hard to hold, huge PE (just like last time), last time errections and PE were way worse, but now its not able to have sex anyway so that doesnt help
- left nut gets constantly pulled into my groin, especially the more tension i create on pelvic (jumping squats, walking)
- right nut is completely disconnected from my brain, cant pull it up etc
- can't influence bladder stream, its either on or off

I first thought its bloodflow issue, and bloodflow is somewhat impaired, but it seems more like I got a tensed muscle, there is this whole theory of a "hypertonic pelvic" leading to HardFlaccid and Ed through like a "spasm" in the pelvicarea.

Its kinda like as if my muscle got cutoff, im not sure if its still fin, if I damaged and pulled actually a muscle..
I started doing stuff that ppl recommend on a HardFlaccid discord, most ppl seem to fix their issues in like 8-12months. Long shit, some minor ones in like 3-4weeks just like me the last time. Some never. The main guy 'greghf" from youtube also had this 2-3x times for 1-12months and it disappeared, then it came again in his 30's and didnt go away, he fixed it with doing resistance stretches, but it took him some years (thats what I'm doing rn)

bought that damn resistance stretch program for like 400 bucks, ordered today a massage gun and the pso rite to hope relief tension xD

otherwise I'm still pretty chill about it, I just try to tackle it day by day as I did with pfs. My whole fucking body is constantly sore from all the tissue work. Idk if thats the right way tho, but I got nothing else to holdon to much

thats it, peace out warriors

[petty3112]

I really think a lot of the dick issues are due to a lack of blood flow, hence the suggested use of the Bathmate. I also thought it was a pelvic floor/hard flaccid issue, and it still might be, but that's a whole other rabbit hole to go down on some of the forums. It's still an issue, where it occasionally feels like the front of the pelvis is "flat" and there's literally no dick there.

I know some guys will take a little bit of Cialis nightly to help stimulate stuff down there for the morning wood, but I also understand the aversion to anything pharmaceutical. Apparently any prominent veins are caused by the lack of blood flow as well.

[Bankai9000]

my issue isn't really my dick, u see i lost like connection to right nut, left gets chronically pulled in, cant influence urine stream
It's like, my dick is just a victim of this xD

[Cdsnuts]

my issue isn't really my dick, u see i lost like connection to right nut, left gets chronically pulled in, cant influence urine stream
It's like, my dick is just a victim of this xD

I don't think I've ever really noticed a connection between my brain and nuts? It's obviously there, but the way you put it....you can feel the left but not the right? Never heard that one before and I've heard alot.

[Bankai9000]

the shit I try to fix this one is making my PFS journey which seemed obsessive a year ago looking like childsplay lol

[Cdsnuts]

the shit I try to fix this one is making my PFS journey which seemed obsessive a year ago looking like childsplay lol

It seems you may have veered off course a bit because you were feeling "normal" This happens when people think they are recovered before they actually are. It's very easy to slip back into old habits when this mindset come about. For this reason alone I suggest continuing on with the protocol 100% despite "feeling" recovered.

Too much fapping man. Either leave it alone or get a woman to do it for you, and then fuck her while you're at it......lol.

You were there man....almost. Stick to the plan. You'll get back to where you need to be.

[Zerolibido]

Allright old boyz, this is sth like a cry for help. Having this issue for 2 1/2 months now..

I'm gonna write a bit cuz I wanna be detailed to bring over what it is I'm going through, in case anyone could maybe give me some words of advice

I fixed kinda everything from PFS, sleep, emotions, skin, gut, my dick was great for a year.


If some of u remember at the 4th month mark I lost my dick for 3weeks, felt as if sth clogged me down there or so. I didn't know what happened, I just fasted, did extreme cold exposure, was stretching constantly and putting warm shit on my dick. After 3-4weeks it felt as if everything untensed and I was suddenly good to go. From the start it didn't rly feel like "pfs", but more like sth physical, as if my bloodsupply gets cutoff in(above) my ass.

Now exactly a year later, I got the same shit in the EXACT circumstances, I was sitting for 2-3weeks, playing videos games all night (stress cuz competetive) and fapping constantly. I mean my dick was fantastic, summerwork got over and I was just enjoying life like in old times XD
The last time I got this it happened EXACTLY like now, 2-3weeks sitting and fapping.

So woke up in the night, numb dick etc.
My issues now are
- cant get any errection while relaxed (brain dick connection is there tho), dick just fills to like 10%, i can get an errection when I pressure my pelvic like mad, its hard to hold, huge PE (just like last time), last time errections and PE were way worse, but now its not able to have sex anyway so that doesnt help
- left nut gets constantly pulled into my groin, especially the more tension i create on pelvic (jumping squats, walking)
- right nut is completely disconnected from my brain, cant pull it up etc
- can't influence bladder stream, its either on or off

I first thought its bloodflow issue, and bloodflow is somewhat impaired, but it seems more like I got a tensed muscle, there is this whole theory of a "hypertonic pelvic" leading to HardFlaccid and Ed through like a "spasm" in the pelvicarea.

Its kinda like as if my muscle got cutoff, im not sure if its still fin, if I damaged and pulled actually a muscle..
I started doing stuff that ppl recommend on a HardFlaccid discord, most ppl seem to fix their issues in like 8-12months. Long shit, some minor ones in like 3-4weeks just like me the last time. Some never. The main guy 'greghf" from youtube also had this 2-3x times for 1-12months and it disappeared, then it came again in his 30's and didnt go away, he fixed it with doing resistance stretches, but it took him some years (thats what I'm doing rn)

bought that damn resistance stretch program for like 400 bucks, ordered today a massage gun and the pso rite to hope relief tension xD

otherwise I'm still pretty chill about it, I just try to tackle it day by day as I did with pfs. My whole fucking body is constantly sore from all the tissue work. Idk if thats the right way tho, but I got nothing else to holdon to much

thats it, peace out warriors

Gimp

[Zerolibido]

You haceto.laugh about us guys talking about dicks.like this

Um.just lying here dying in a one bedroom.council.flat because of what producer did to.my life and some n.a. Decision making elsewhere