Originally Posted by
Ridd
Haha well I'm glad you're here too buddy. I think what makes this issue so much of a problem is not only the fact that we are "broken" men, but the fact that we have no support, professionally or otherwise. We only have each other on this online forum. No one in the real world will be able to relate or truly understand our issues. We are the only ones here who really get this thing.
My second crash was caused by a girl. and lots of drinking. I thought I was mostly recovered, I started being able to have sex again, but I fucked up by drinking. I figured that my sexual health had returned so I would be fine, but I was very wrong.
I've had many mini-crashes and they were all caused by drinking and girls. Multiple times I'd bring home a beautiful girl and nothing was going on downstairs despite being incredibly turned on. I really think that most PFSers partly have anxiety reduced ED. I definintely did. For months, just watching a sex scene on TV, or having a girl flirt with me or seeing anything sexual would give me massive anxiety. When it was at its worst, I couldn't even listen to music because it was all about love and I felt like I would be incapable of actually experiencing love again, so it just hurt my soul to hear. I think you can save yourself from being this fucked so I'm telling you this lol.
meditation/mindfulness will help tremendously with the anxiety. accept all the bad shit that enters your mind, analyze it, and then reflect.
why did anything sexual trip me out? because I thought deep down I would never be a sexually healthy being again. once I understood these reactions and reminded myself this was all temporary, the anxiety started to fade. but it took much time and diligence. it still kind of messes with me when girls flirt with me or when I clearly can have a relationship with a girl, but I just can't because of my recovery. we really gotta find some super understanding girl who will be able to take it slow.
I honestly feel like a virgin again. my libido is pretty shit, and girls sometimes might as well be fuckin plants but I can definitely get rock hard when the situation is right and when I'm completely comfortable. but I blow my wad so fast it's just hilarious. my recovery time is drastically increased too, but this is all stuff that will get better with time and training.
I kind of look at this whole thing like we're this brotherhood of ninjas or some shit. we have to give 100% dedication to our practice (recovery) or else we just wont make it. I often feel like a monk and the control I have over my emotions and my mind is crazy. it's amazing to realize that if you can beat this, you can't really have anything stop you in life. this will be the hardest thing you will ever do most likely.
sorry for the rambling. for sleep I will occasionally take melatonin, but what helps most is having a full day. don't sit around unless you absolutely need it. and if you feel like you're crashing then you have to go vegetable mode or else you'll make it worse. get plenty of sun, get plenty of activity but don't overdo it. I work late nights a lot and I've pretty much sacrificed my old social life to be able to recover. luckily, I can do a lot my work at any time.