You're at a particularly sensitive time having come out of a fast/feast too. Sometimes it can be too much/too soon for your digestive system and it's letting you know as such. This happened a few times with me. The worst cramps and shits ever!
You're at a particularly sensitive time having come out of a fast/feast too. Sometimes it can be too much/too soon for your digestive system and it's letting you know as such. This happened a few times with me. The worst cramps and shits ever!
That would explain everything!Quote:
Originally Posted by Swill
Last night was the only time ive consumed gluten since the fast, and in the last 4 months, ive probably only consumed gluten 2 times, including last night.
Also ive been having ridiculous gas in general since the fast. And it doesnt even feel like im eating all that much anyways. But ill have my typical shit in the morning, then its followed by this weird gas, that will stay with me for the next 3 hours. And this is even with an empty stomach. Ill take my herb in the morning, coffee, then gym immediately. It doesnt finally dissipate until 3 hours later. And the gas isnt even painful, and it doesnt cause cramps, but its just annoying. I've been having to alot of times just goto the bathroom and rip one, just so i dont do it front of a bunch of girls in the gym. lol. Its become somewhat disruptive.
Also ive been eating alot of collard greens in my protein shakes, because i ran out of kale and spinach. Need to get some more. Im going to stop with the collard greens. That could be contributing to it as well.
Update-
I've had some ups and downs. Its been 12 days since breaking my fast. Not in a good mood right now.
For the last 2 or 3 days, before today, the gas went away. I stopped putting the collard greens in my protein shakes. And i would wake up in the morning, goto the bathroom as usual, and then no gas!
Up until today. Yesterday i was back to putting kale and spinach in my protein shakes. It tastes so good. I love it. Then i wake up today, goto the bathroom, and once again the gas is back. After im done with the bathroom, you would think im cleansed, and then strangely the gas comes back intense as hell afterwards, and doesnt finally dissipate until 3 hours later. I didnt have this problem before either. But i need to get my vegetables in, and i know its important, and a big part of this battle!
Also have some bad news. Due to my checks being lower lately, i was at a lack of funds. I purchased 3 new herbs from lost empire herbs, and dropped alot of money on some other things i needed. Its been tough since the juice feast. It really set me back. The one and only thing i truly hate about this pfs battle, is the financial aspect, and the technicalities... running around everyday, especially on my days off, trying to get everything i need. My days off from work are actually harder than my days at work. Somethings not right here about this. I think its still the beginning and just going through the initial learning curve. This lack recent lack of funds, and a certain inconvenience, caused something negative for me.
So i have everything i need at the moment, but im tight until next week. I am however, almost out of magnesium powder, and completely out of spinurella and chlorella, and cant do anything about that until the end of the week. Then i will be in a surplus, and stay in the surplus for awhile. However, ive been a vape smoker for the longest time, and that broke. I fixed the problem, thought i was gonna be good, then a new problem with it came about. I lost my temper and smashed it on the ground. Im running around everyday like a chicken with its head cut off, and i cant take the trivial shit anymore. Theres only so much time in the day. I try to get everything in too! And when you fix ONE thing, then it seems like another thing breaks! Its a jynx, its trivial, and i do not have time for it. That led to me smoking a few more cigarettes than i would like to. It almost made me sick... you can feel it. I hate cigarettes, and theyre disgusting. The lack of funds forced me to grab some smokes. I finally got a new vape, and im learning how to maintain it better. I will never smoke a cig again, they made me feel awful this time around. Even as a vaper, i always packed a lip here and there, and it never hurt me. But when i had more than usual recently... omg i could feel it! I do not drink, smoke weed, take pharms, or do any other bad shit.
As far as THAT goes, i pray that i do not have to do another cleanse! Ive done two, and i have a job and cant keep doing these on the job.. its getting embarassing.
Im now cycling 12 herbs. Was at 9 for awhile. But the financial aspect has made it take more time for me to acquire them. The 3 new ones i have are He Shou Wu, Horny goat weed, and shilijit powder.
However, i responded really well to the horny goat weed powder, a few days ago!! Ironic... just like back in the day how Prolab horny goat weed capsules always worked well for me. They contained horny goat weed, tribulus, maca, yohimbine, and gingko bilopa. I have always responded really well to horny goat weed and maca. Even the horny goat weed powder, or the prolab horny goat weed capsules back in the day, wasnt strong enough to trigger a "spontaneous" erection, it still made me alot more powerful, and whenever i was hugging on a woman, i would get aroused much easier and much faster. But like with any proprietary blend, the prolab horny goat weed capsules always lost effect after while. 10 days or so.
But nothing new lately really. No spontaneous erections, and no new morning wood. Other guys seem to respond really well to the herbs, and get spontaneous erections, and morning wood, and stuff like that from them. But not me. Yet im 100% healthy in other ways, have this incredible physique, but just the propecia sex drive. I dont get it. Im doing the same stuff as them, and i dont get any of these benefits. I dont know what the hell to do anymore, lmao... im just gonna keep doing the protocol. Its all i have. And its the only thing that makes sense. A dude named brongfongboy years ago on propeciahelp reported getting morning wood all the time, and all these great benefits from a 14 day water fast alone. But of course not me, and ive juice feasted for a combined total of 23 days between two fasts. Who the fuck knows lmao... could it be because i took actual propecia, and not saw palmetto, and took it for a very long time, (almost 8 years on and off)? Once again, who the fuck knows anymore... I dont know if these people were luckier than me, or worse off than i am, or if im worse off than they are.
The weight is coming back much slower this time around. I may have even lost more weight than i reported. Each scale gives me a different number, and they are so inaccurate and frustrating sometimes. But its still going up, and im still progressing in the gym. I am one crazy, genetically gifted athlete. I dont know how i have pulled all this off despite pfs. And it honestly means nothing to me if i dont have a dick. But in my ideal world, i would take both!
I just pray that i dont have to do another fast. As long as i know that that will always be behind me, then i can stop worrying.
I honestly think my body just needs some DHT, in the form of super r andro. But i want to wait 2-3 months, get back to my tip top genetic natural stats, (because ive maxed out so many times in the last decade, and i already know what the stats and levels are for me).
Hey a lot of this is has to do with our stress levels and I don't think stressing yourself out looking at your sexual competency after 12 days is helping. You said you've made a lot of strides in other areas which is great. I'd continue looking at the positives and continue with the regiment.
Remember this is a marathon not a sprint.
I wouldn't worry so much about doing every little thing every day to the point of stressing yourself out. I used to do the same thing, but I think it's much better to just relax, do what you can do, and try to have a semi-normal life. I was TERRIBLE about stressing out over every detail, and would spend every second of every day analyzing everything I did. It didn't help or matter.
Don't openly sabotage yourself by smoking cigs, etc., but you don't have to have a panic attack if you don't have magnesium for a week.
I think everyone has those same fears you were describing. I've wished several times that I did Finasteride instead of saw palmetto and have worried that I had it worse than anyone ever has and won't ever get better, etc. etc. You just have to stop worrying. Easier said than done, but it makes a huge difference.
Hey come on man, 12 days... Nothing alse to say.
It needs time to get back and see results. Since my last crash, I had 3 and half months with zero, and I mean ZERO erections at ALL...ZERO,NEVER EVER EVER with porno, hands, "my girlfriend"...impossible!
Now I can get it up 90% of the time at a full power.. so give it the time needed....................................
I used to do the same shit about taking Saw Palmetto and that I had it worse than anyone because Saw Palmetto could be worse than fin......lots of wasted nights.Quote:
Originally Posted by Durantia37
You guys are right. I had a much better day today, and now im looking at what i was saying yesterday, and thinking "what the hell WAS i thinking???!!!".
I've been told many times that i get in my own way, and my own head. I definitely need to stop. I kinda was like this before PFS, and it has intensified since having pfs. I may even continue to do it the whole time through too. Hopefully not, but well see. I definitely will be working on myself in that aspect as well.
Didnt do the kale/spinach in my protein shakes last night, and i woke up, didnt even goto the bathroom, but still, felt alot better. I think my body is finally starting to level out, and get used to eating again. Im sure the kale/spinach combo in my protein shakes is honestly irrelevant. I did have some today though. Each day, the "gas" seems to get a little less intense, so thats good!
The nicotine is out of my system, i already feel back to normal... no more! Still vaping here and there, but it doesn't hurt me. Working on that too.
Also, for years, followed a bodybuilidng diet, which was kind of somewhat paleo even then too (just with gluten and other chemicals), but also had a high calorie/high protein diet, which caused alot of gas. Still have a high calorie/protein diet, because protein is a muscle builder, but since the fast, i have eased back into it, and not gone as high, due to trying to not over work the digestive system! I learned that the cause of my former "non-24 sleep disorder", was due to fucking overeating and overworking the digestive system, and that would keep me awake longer!!!! Well ill be damned! Glad that sleep disorder is out of my life forever! I havent had that problem in about 4 months!! If i have to get up super early for work... i will make sure not to overwork my digestive system, the night before because that has almost screwed me over twice! Problem solved! I'm also a fan of short interminnet fasting for a few hours at time these days too. A good nights sleep is crucial for PFS, and for your adrenals. I've been mastering my own body in the last few months since discovering this protocol. A recent saying of mine lately has been, "if you can master your own self, then you can master the entire world!" Wow, its been a long decade... it all makes sense now. My suffering is finally coming to an end, little by little.
So im definitely leveling out since this fast. And moving in the right direction. It just took longer this time around, because i did a 15 day fast for god sakes. Not a 7 day. I underestimated it hahaha. I do not need to cleanse again. Everything i have done, and been doing, has definitely served purpose.
By the way, a tip that was told to me by either cdsnuts or the guys on the forum, when taking herbs.... Today was my cistanche day, and definitely put a tiny drop of water in your mouth, and literally hold your head back and just drop the whole scoop in your mouth. If you get a good hit, the powder will give the back of your mouth this slight burn sensation. then use another tiny gulp of water to help rinse it down if needed. This happened today, and i feel like when that happens, you get better absorption of the herb. I've noticed that with tongkat ali too. Horny goat weed powder is still my favorite though so far, hehe.
The thing with all of this protocol, and trying to get it all in, is that its a learning curve. You kind of just learn as you go, and the longer youve been doing it, the more you start to incorporate into it. Im not going to beat myself over the head anymore. Other pfs battlers, and pfs healed ones, can tell you how to do certain things, and youll get it, but other things, sometimes you can only learn them by just doing them on your own enough times.
Im not going to be talking about, or over-analyzing things like morning wood or spontaneous erections on a daily basis anymore. It is indeed pointless like alot of the guys have said to me. All i will be doing is keep doing the protocol as best as i can.
This is going to be my last post in my blog for awhile. I just want to put out there exactly what im currently doing. I am cleansed and on the protocol.
Training in the gym 5-6 days a week.
Paleo diet
Carb backloading
Zero alcohol, zero weed, drugs, pharms, etc.
HIIT sprints 1-2 times a week. (a personal longtime goal with this is to keep shedding time off of my 100m dash. 10.99 seconds if im lucky haha. Why the fuck not? You can do whatever you set your mind to. The sky is the limit. In high school i was a distance runner, so sprints werent my thing. Now as an adult male, i have a chance to reach this longtime goal since im on the protocol. ) This shit is fun for me, and thrilling.
Cycling a herb each day. I have 12 at the moment, will continue to keep acquiring more. Had two little things of shilijit resin that i was cycling daily, which i loved, but they ran out quick. I want more. And i want to get my hands on pine pollen powder to use daily. and if i can afford a few more bottles of pine pollen tincture, i will just use that as a daily herb, and take that out of my 1-a-day-herb rotation, and replace it with something else. these take time due to finances.
Cold showers!!!- I love these! So easy to do, and so addictive! Invigorating, powerful, and an immediate testosterone boost and adrenaline rush! i feel that shit right away. I think the other day i actually stayed in the cold shower for at least 5 whole minutes! I feel like i could go on forever! Usually im in and out though, for about 2 or 3 minutes.
Vitamin d3 10,000 IU- 2-3x daily.
Magnesium calm powder- i love to throw this in my protein shakes, along with kale and spinach. it even makes the protein powder taste better. My protein powder of choice is either body fortress ( if my funds are limited), or more preferably, quest protein, or the one on cds website, if i can find that in target, or in a store.
Avoid gluten and soy like the plague, along with other poisonous shitty chemicals if i can. But dont beat myself over the head if i accidentally eat something bad once in a blue moon.
spinurella and chlorella daily.
breath work- such a good idea. i just finally tapped into this about a week ago. It was hard for me to understand, but im finally getting it. And boy is it good! I havent mastered it yet, but i will eventually with more practice.
Meditation- THIS IS A BIG ONE, and really important to me. You must calm your mind. Im still a little bit confused with this one. overtime i will figure it out. I want to learn and master this really soon.
Fish oils (essential fatty acids)- been looking for a good brand. Hopefully i can find someone who knows what theyre talking about at a vitamin shoppe or gnc, or a wholefoods store, and help me find a brand that does not contain soy, gluten, or estrogenic or negative chemicals in it.
bathmate pump- i really want to get one of these. When the funds come, i will acquire one.
avoiding xeno-estrogen chemicals like deodorants, soap, etc- ive been slacking on this one ill admit. seems like the only good stuff you can find are online. and extremely expensive to be paying for on a regular basis. This pfs battle is costly enough. What happens when i run out of the good products, and my online order is still waiting to be delivered?... if i go back to using regular stuff while waiting, will i lose such benefits immediately? I cant be having body odor and smelling like shit! I will figure this one out later. For some reason its complicated for me, and im probably making it out to be harder than what it really is.
its all one big learning curve.... i just learn shit as i go, and as time goes on, i incorporate more and more into it all.
prohormone- I am less than 3 months away from starting the super r andro prohormone. My first ever cycle. I will climb my "natural" ladder one last time, get to my tip top natural levels, one last time, and then finally start cycling. Ive already been on my way. As far as "natural" goes, i dont think any of us were ever natural, having pfs. myself and the rest of us, were all under-natural, and i believe when healed, we will all be natural for the first time EVER!
This is it for now, and its all i can think of. I will update later.
Well!
Looks like i saw a slight glimpse of a light at the end of the tunnell. Finally started gaining some muscle weight back. Yesterday i decided i was hungrier, my metabolism had sped back up somewhat, and it had been awhile, so i stepped my calories and protein back up to their normal range.
So today i went in, benched 225x4, and 245x1. Now im still quite under my normal weight, and these numbers are nowhere near my normal range, but it was a good increase. normally when i hit 250 on bench for a 1RM, thats when i start to really go up i notice. that 245x1 for an all out effort was a major testosterone boost and felt so good.
The whole "gas" thing i was talking about earlier has went down alot, so thats good.
The only weird negative thing that has been happening, is that my body wont seem to let me sleep longer than 6-6 1/2 hours at a time! This strangely started happening since day 12 of my juice feast. Now its been about 15 days since i broke the fast. I think that could be just my eagerness to get out the door early in the morning, and get everything done. But at the same time, not good for the adrenals after a long time. Carb backloaded like crazy today, because i had 2 workouts, and i was hoping the early backload would help me take a nap, but i couldnt. Hopefully tonight i can sleep for a good 8.5 hrs uninterrupted.
Nothing new sexually yet. Ordering pine pollen powder on monday for everyday use, along with the 12 and growing number of herbs i have for daily rotation.
By the way... can someone recommend a legit, potent brand of tribulus so i can add to the rotation? I've heard alot of good about it, and it was also in those prolab horny goat weed capsules that i responded well too a long time ago.
Today i finally, officially leveled out from the fast! It has been almost 3 weeks. I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news, and concerns, i will post after the good news.
Had some adrenal fatigue for awhile, and even on my days off, couldnt sleep longer than 6 hours if wanted to. Days and days of this wore out my adrenals. I learned that i can only do so much in one day, and i must calm that down. Well i still had to get up super early for work the last two days.. and i finally had today off, so i slept an amazing 9 hours!! Woke up, went to the bathroom, best shit of my life, and it completely cleaned me out. Zero gas afterwards. I am good! Drank my coffee, herb, and gym in the morning, and have felt almost euphoric all day!
The adrenals and gut/digestive system are very connected! So remember that! Even though i believe in and follow a high calorie/high protein diet which works for me, (within the paleo realm), i still try not to over work my digestive system.
Been on the herbs for 3 weeks just about now. I have not seen a new baseline sexually. I am doing the protocol. Yes, i DO feel great, things finally clicked over today, and i am high on life today, but ive felt this way before. Zero sexual progress. Im sick and pissed off at this shit. They have not made me worse, but im not any better either. I am the exact same sexually as i have been for awhile.
I have healed everything else that was wrong with me now, through this protocol. All but the sexual.
The herbs do not seem to work for me sexually. Im really pissed off and dont know what to do with myself, as far as this goes. The only ones that DO seem to work for me sexually are, horny goat weed, maca, and maybe tribulus. It doesnt matter the brand. I have responded well to prolab horny goat weed, and also have responded well to lost empire herbs horny goat weed.
They seem to work for literally everyone else though. I just wish they would work for me the way they work for everyone else. I keep hearing about many others getting the prestige/proverbial "spontaneous erections". And morning wood. While im frustrated, im happy for them, and i would never take that away from them. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. I havent had a spontaneous erection in over a decade. I need stimulation for that. Before PFS, the wind could blow at my junk, and it would trigger a spontaneous erection.
Really fed up!
I am not a quitter, and never will. I will keep doing this protocol. But i am very disappointed in my reaction to the herbs.
3 days ago, i started to get really JACKED in the gym again! It has all come back almost. I feel great.
I was thinking that maybe i need to fast EVEN MORE, because i took actual propecia for 8 years on and off. I am one of the longest users of the drug. And one of the longest sufferers. But today i realized that i dont need to fast anymore. I did my research, and thought about things.
Cdsnuts recommends for pfs, either a 2 week juice feast, or at least a 2 week water fast. But he himself, did 45 days on juice, a 14 day water fast, and like three 21-day water fasts. But he says only one good long fast should be enough to do the trick. He was literally all alone in this... he was one of the firsts, if not THE first. He had noone to guide him in the right direction, like myself and others have him here on this forum. Maybe some of his fasts were unnecessary, but it probably doesnt matter to him anymore, because he is HEALED.
BUT... he also says it depends on how many fat reserves your body has. I have always, my whole life, had a super fast metabolism, and i am cut to the core. I have done 23 days worth of juice feasting, between two different long fasts. I realized today that i dont need to fast anymore.
I thought that because i was always in good shape physically, that i was "okay". But i definitely had PFS. That's why it took me so long to get here. I didnt get off the drug completely until 6 years ago. 7-8 years usage of the drug total (with a few breaks in between).
Im just pissed that these herbs arent giving me the sexual benefit like it does to everyone else. They didnt seem to work for me before my 7 day juice feast, after my 7 day juice feast, and after 15 my day juice feast. But i could always use the prolab horny goat weed capsules, and i respond to them immediately!
Like i said, i am not a quitter, and i will keep going forward with this, and continuing the protocol 100%. This is the only way, and the only thing that makes sense. Ill keep acquiring more herbs too. But man im frustrated with the herbs. Theyre legit for everyone else, but not for me. Only some. I am ordering pine pollen powder as we speak. The 250 gram big. For everyday use. And ill still be doing my 1-herb-a-day rotation on top of this as well. This is my last hope with herbs.
My true last hope is the DHT prohormone super andro rx (while in conjunction with the rest of the protocol). I feel great right now, no doubt about it. My body responds to training, and a good diet. But ive been down this road already before. I want the sexual back. I want the sexual function i was born with!!!!!!!
I feel you man, I did too take poison for a long time and there are ups and downs. We are in a prison right now but we will escape no matter what. Keep on the protocol and we will heal no matter if it take months, a year and even extra fasting. Keep on man like churchill said " if you are going through hell, keep walking".
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You're not going to see a new sexual baseline or improvement from three weeks of herbs. This is a marathon, not a sprint. And if you don't change your outlook on that you're going to drive yourself insane constantly waiting on a change. It'll happen on its own time, you just have to make the environment right for it to happen.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K8668B
For sexual you can also try niacinamide and caffeine or even high dose vitamin K2 MK4 only.
Like Maxout said, if people saw results sexually in 3 weeks, everyone would be on this rather than just us.
I think a lot of the sexual stuff comes from having the mind reconnect to your sexuality, and unfortunately that takes time. Look at all the positives. The fact that you are feeling that 'pump' at the gym again means your hormones are starting to come back. How much progress have you made in 3 weeks compared to the years before?
Dude three weeks is nothing! Thats 6% of a year. Sexual stuff always seems to come last from what I am reading. Keep going. You will be there before you know it.
Have to second this thought. Tracking your sexual function is probably making it harder to make gains in this department.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sploicers
Just think about bettering your life and how good you are feeling and I am sure the sexual function will follow.
As we've seen a lot of people who have taken rogaine believe they have sexual dysfunction from stressing themselves out then returned to normal after calming down.
You need to practice some breathing and meditation and really calm yourself down.
You have just heard the starting gun for the marathon that is the protocol. That is what the cleanse is and you just finish that
Not sure what you were expecting or what you were thinking but you have just started my friend.
I'm not going to sugarcoat it you have a long and winding road ahead of you with many ups and downs. If you can't get your head in the right place now it's going to make it all that more difficult
Be glad you finished the cleanse which you were dreading doing.
From now on you need to start living one moment at a time.
You know what you need to do now just put it together and do it.
The gains will come if you stay consistent over time.
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Its all been said!
Good points. Heard fellas!
My euphoria is back. Im definitely in a slight upswing. I just wanted to thank the recent people who posted in reply to the things ive been saying lately. Your words finally sunk in today and hit me. Makes sense. Feeling good.
My digestive system is feeling even better! My mornings with bathroom, cold shower, herb/coffee, music, and gym are amazing again too!
Good to hear you're doing good man, keep it up!
Keep at it man, you're doing great. I've been on the protocol for over four months now and it was only in the past six weeks am I seeing sustained progress on the sexual front. I still have bad days and there are still effects that im experiencing both mental and physical but it slowly, slowly gets better until it's not the only thing on your mind and one day your talking to a girl and without thinking there's something happening. My baseline is much higher now than it was but for a long time it didn't move at all. It will come mate, everyone of us starts at a different location on it but we're on the right road.Quote:
Originally Posted by K8668B
One thing I will add is to be mindful of the euphoria that you may get at times. The mood swings are real but if you can remain unaffected by both the good and bad and watch them both from within then they are easier to handle. Too many times I got caught up thinking that I was suddenly past all the mental sides with a rush of euphoria and dopamine and then for it all to melt away and I would feel like shit again. Reminds me of a quote from a great poem:
"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat both those imposters just the same..."
Remain focused on your destination but mindful of your mind and don't be swayed by it and you'll get there.
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As a reminder a realistic time frame for staying steadfast on the protocol is 6 months to 2 years.
Up and down, back and forth, good and bad.
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Good quote!Quote:
Originally Posted by coppersocks
Good point and quote coppersocks. Makes me feel good.
And CD, that sounds realistic. Thats what ive been estimating since the beginning. But in the last few days, since my 2nd fast (the big 15 day juicefeast), i stopped putting a timeline on my recovery. The sooner the better, but i was REALLY starting to put too much pressure on myself and burn myself out. It indeed is a marathon as opposed to a sprint.
The lack of funds also makes things take longer for me. But today my pine pollen powder arrived, but i havent opened it yet. And per tubzys recommendation i just ordered pure encapsulations brand niacinamide. That should be here in 5-7 business days. He also recommends stacking that with caffeine pills. But i figured coffee should be just as good. Maybe ill go ahead and order the caffeine pills later. Just need a break from all this online ordering. My new router is a slow POS! I miss the old one
I've had this slight brain fog all day. I got a decent sleep i thought... slept a good 8 1/2- 9 hours about. But i havent had brainfog like this in MONTHS. its been a very long time. i dont know why the hell today either. ive always been a veiny dude, but today and yesterday my veins are alot less "crazy/vibrant" than usual. Ive been on the pine pollen powder for a few days now... not sure if PPP would cause this, but thats the only new thing ive been taking. along with the 12 other herbs i have at the moment and cycling.
Par for the course dude. Whenever you're doubting yourself just go back and read all of the posts in this thread. You'll notice you go back and forth, up and down just the way it's supposed to be happening.Quote:
Originally Posted by K8668B
For some reason you seem to get upset every time you have a downswing.
This is how it's going to be until you're healed
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Everybody's doubting the pine pollen these days..it's a shame, that stuff is saving my life.
Just stick with it man. I'm right there with ya, it sucks ass when you have a downswing. But they end every time. Something you can do to help yourself through downswings: remind yourself that (so long as you stick to the protocol), THIS is the worst downswing you'll ever experience. Because you'll only be getting better each time.
Not sure if this is a downswing or not. It probably is though lol. What CD just said in his last post sounds exactly like me lol. I was actually feeling almost sick just about up until 20 minutes ago. drank some water and that made me feel better. what caused this i have no fucking clue. twice slightly earlier, my piss was extremely foamy. never had that before. pissed again just now and it looked normal. just 6 weeks ago, my thyroid, kidney, liver, cholesterol, etc.. all came back super healthy at the doctors. the healthiest it seems to have ever been. but im not supporting doctors. i still stand by my "screw doctors" attitude that i have been posting in other members posts today and recently.Quote:
Originally Posted by Durantia37
and ive read about how well youre responding to the PPP. alot of people on here respond well to the herbs. im glad for you man. i dont seem to get anything from them. but i still do them. and i still keep doing the protocol. im never quitting. total testosterone levels were at 648 and 605 the two times i got them measured in my lifetime. super good physique, with a pfs dick. i respond very easily to training. my dick seems to respond to nothing though lol.. :/
ive been eating a crapload of bananas and apples daily. 2 of each a day. maybe one of these days i might have had more though.
I already talked to CD personally about this. so even though im posting this, i am not by any means asking again.
The only true thing on the protocol i am slacking on is avoiding xenoestrogen-like deodorants, soaps, toothpaste, etc. I just cant afford them... theres gotta be a way to get this right though. gotta be around this.
and vape smoking. ive cut back alot. i dont think vaping really affects PFS sexual though. if someone told me it did directly affect the sexual side of PFS... i would smash my vape on the ground, and never look back! seriously.. no lie!!! i would be smoke free!
breath work... i finally did it successfully the other night i think. it felt good. im finally working into this. i seem to get it in 2-3x a week at this moment.
and meditation..i just have to learn how to do this...it seems complicated to me at the moment.
super andro rx... i just want to eat you like candy. looking into it in 2-4 weeks.
Dude, I would so much rather be you. Sure, I respond to the herbs and I get morning wood every day, but I have alllll the other sides. Mental, physical, digestive. I wonder if my age has something to do with the fact that I respond well sexually to everything.Quote:
Originally Posted by K8668B
Quote:
Originally Posted by Durantia37
Lol... id rather be YOU.
Nah your age has nothing to do with it. I've been like this sexually for almost a decade. ive been as bad as i am now since about age 22 ish. now im 31.
I just didnt become aware of my pfs 100% until about january of this year. i guess i was in denial all these years. i still had and have SOME sexual function. maybe 35%. and i seem "normal" in every other aspect. and i was always in good shape, so i guess i somewhat would just lie to myself all these years. i was in denial. but trust me, i did have my years of searching and my trials and tribulations. even though subconsciously i knew something wasnt right the whole time. and i didnt discover or hear about PFS until late 2016/early 2017 like i said.
i think this is why i get really impatient at times. and when im having a bad day, or a downswing, i tend to get crazy over it more than i should.
hey bro, hope you're starting to feel the upswing coming on.Quote:
Originally Posted by K8668B
I think it's important to remember, especially in your case because you've been in this state for so long, that it may take you a lot longer to get to a healthy homeostasis again.
you're probably used to letting negative thoughts have an affect on you and your body is probably used to this sub-par state you've been in.
Most of my life I've had trouble controlling my negative thoughts and I've only really got control after much mindfulness and meditation- which I understand you struggle with.
Meditation is a process of calming the mind, but just as importantly, you have to be mindful and accept everything in your environment and in your head when you meditate. you accept the bad just like you accept the good and you realize they are just two sides of the same coin. this is the point of mindful meditation that will help you- you will no longer see this thing as negative, nor will you see it as positive, the goal is to simply see whatever it is, simply as what it is. you shouldn't have any sort of emotional attachment to your thoughts on PFS, especially negative ones, because they are not productive to you. always remember this- the goal of mindfulness and meditation is to re-frame how you see your experiences, you will eventually be able to filter out all of your surroundings and truly experience existing as a completely neutral being with no attachment to any thoughts that come into your head.
you have to look at this thing objectively, I've become very stoic after PFS, it has helped me deal with it tremendously. negative energy is what you may be used to, it's what I have been used to, you have to train yourself to not feed into that negative energy. every time something negative comes into your head remember that it will only harm you as much as you let it harm you. you have to accept these thoughts, every single thought you have when you meditate and look at it from a third person point of view.
you must think:
"Why is K8668B feeling shitty today- I'm in a natural downswing, and when I get in this state, it's easy for me to focus on my negative energy- why does my mind tend to wander towards negative thinking? because I think that my sexual health isn't where it needs to be. because I'm getting impatient with my recovery but I know for certain that with more patience and more diligence, I will continue to improve with even more natural upswings and downswings. there is no reason to believe that I can't get better because it has been done by people who were in my same situation."
this is how you should out think the negative shit that comes into your head. when a negative thought comes in, you let it go right through you, don't avoid it, sit in it for a second- and then just as easy as it is for something negative to come along, bring something positive along to balance that out- remind yourself this is just part of your recovery and that you will continue to make progress, and then, just as you did with those negative thoughts- you do the same as you did with the positive thoughts- you sit in them for a second, you accept them as being just as natural as negative thoughts, yin and yang, and then you let them go right through you and you return to an objective, neutral position where you should feel completely content and uninhibited by anything. when you get good at it, you will be able to balance out these negative thoughts and let them go through you within a fraction of a second, instead of actually having to sit in them for a while.
this is how many people, myself included, go at flushing out the negative shit- you look at it all objectively, you become as neutral as possible when dealing with your emotions, you see them for what they are- just a reaction that can be controlled. when you're truly in a meditative setting, you are simply getting a handle over all of the stimulation and energy coming into your world, accepting them as nothing more than what they are, and then letting them go through you as you return to your breath, to return to your neutral state of homeostasis where you are neither negative or positive. you simply are.
with this kind of mindfulness and meditation, you truly understand what you are, every little thought that comes into your head you should accept, analyze for just a moment on why it came into your head, and then remember that these thoughts, may they be positive or negative, simply are what is going on in K8668B's head, and nothing more than that. they are no more true than what you make of them.
with enough practice, this will become more natural, you have to keep at it every day, it may be uncomfortable at first, but your mindset will shift, and you will start to feel it in everything you do.
on the most fundamental level what are you? what are we all? we are simply beings experiencing the world around us, we cannot control the world, we cannot control what has happened to us, but we can control what we do in this moment- you can and do have control over your thoughts and how you frame this situation- now, will you see this thing as negative, or will you simply see it as what it is; just another step towards reaching a healthy homeostasis that will come with more work, patience and control over your thoughts?
you have power over your thoughts and over all of the negative stuff that can weigh you down. it is proven that your thoughts will have a very real, physiological affect on your overall health, so getting this control is crucial to our recovery, and you will get there with practice. all you have to do is sit there in a comfortable position in a quiet room with just your thoughts, as boring as it may seem, and accept all of the shit that flies into your head and find that neutral state, while focusing on your breath.
Great post. Very insightful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridd
Just to add to this....the act of becoming neutral and non-reactive will in and of itself create a feeling of relaxed contentment eventually.
If you find meditation difficult, do the breathing exercises PRIOR to meditation. By hyper oxygenating your system and stimulating the vagus nerve your mind will be in the most conducive state to experience the most mindfulness you can given your lack of meditation experience. This practice also opens up the third eye, which will help you in your practice.
Very good post. Learning to handle these things in this methodical way is a process, it took me time, but sooner or later a switch will flick and you will 'get it'... you'll learn to not get over the topic with the highs, and not to plummet with the lows, and when you get to a point that you can process it like this then you will find everything opens up and speeds forward for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridd
Just keep riding the wave and learning as you go, its a process and you got this.
This was beautiful!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridd
Yes i had been doing this... this has been my mentality since january/february. just knowing that there was a way to conquer PFS, and that this was IT, and that THIS literally makes and made the most sense, cleared my head for awhile. Ive been realizing that its not the world around me, its simply how im feeling on a particular given moment. Ive been saying alot lately "the battle is within our own selves". And the remedy is at YOUR very own fingertips. You have everything you need". And i truly believed this. I tend to let it all control me... i dont mind letting the euphoric highs control me, and i hate the negative lows. But both are a yin and yang effect. You have to accept both for what they are like you said. I think this is gonna take me alot longer because ive been in this state longer. That was the greatest post ever. Thank you. Ive been having a shitty day, but its gotten a little bit better.
I've probably only had morning wood about 4 or 5 times in the last 5 months. But ive felt great the whole time in literally every other aspect just because i had the belief in finally beating this. Then as time went on, and my fight towards this got even more intense, (the longer juice feasts, the new herbs, the PPP), i lost my edge for awhile. But now i realize that this is going to take longer for me personally, because of how long ive been in this state.
I had intense euphoria a few days ago. I even wrote an epic post on facebook. And i hate facebook. I think its garbage. I rarely even use it anymore since this PFS battle. But i was feeling so good that day, i wanted to share my thoughts. Alot of people liked what i wrote. I did however have one negative detractor who read my post (my own mother who took me to the doctor at age 16-17 for propecia), and she went on another account, and read my post because i set it to public, and she was able to see it. After this i deactivated my account. I had let my euphoria get the best of me. But damn it felt good though. She has been miserable for the last 20 years since my father, her husband died. She was nothing but negativity growing up. My father was bald too btw. Same with my 3 half brothers. Just sits in her own house, with her typical negative western american chemicals, and refusal to change her own health for the better, and her ANTI-HEALTH attitude. I live on my own and do my own thing. I have blocked out alot of negativity in my life in the last 5 months. Im in my own zen like world while i fight this battle. And on top of my sub-par state from PFS, i only knew alot of negativity in my life.. in the form of a few other family members. Such negativity was merely garbage, and should not, and WILL NOT prevail! I had been mistaken all those years. I now know whats real, and what the truth is! Its all on me!
On another note though, i seriously think in the last 3 days, as the pine pollen powder has built up in my system, (its been about 5-6 days now), i think ive been having an allergic reaction to it. i even got kinda sick a little bit too last night. I had my last dose of it this morning. My veins havent been as vibrant. And im a really veiny dude. And veins are a good thing i believe. But only this reaction towards the Pine pollen powder. So im stopping the powder, and still doing the one herb a day rule, and everything else thats on the protocol.
Meditation is the next new big thing i am looking into. Its confusing to me because i think on the website, it said you had to download and purchase an instruction manual or some shit. I dont even know how to go about this. If someone could just explain to me how to meditate, then id be good. its not the cheesy cliche, "sit indian style with your hands out and fingers crossed" type of stuff i hope. i must be envisioning it wrong.
im also starting super andro rx next week or the week after. i already almost back to my normal levels, and my weight is back in its normal range.
I must control the lows and the HIGHS. as Ridd said. that made alot of sense. Swill has said this a crapload of times too. And of course, if anyone knows about this, its cdsnuts!
I do think for a few days though i was having an allergic reaction to the pine pollen powder.
When i was 25 years old, 6 years ago, i had my own apartment. I've been on my own since age 22, but have moved to many different places, until i finally settled into the place ive been in for the last 4 years now. Its a nice place.
But at age 25, i lived in my worst place ever. Sometime in the summer of that year, a few months after i turned 25, i remember sitting idle in my living room, and my big bathroom mirror on the other side of my apartment just randomly feel off of the wall, and smashed all over the bathroom floor. I hear that a broken mirror is 7 years bad luck. I was petrified. As hard as was busting my ass then, i was so frustrated. My mentality then was even somewhat similar to what it is now. And the first thing i thought then was "ive already suffered enough, how much longer do i have to go through this". I knew i was cursed then, but i didnt know yet at the time that it was PFS. Perhaps this broken mirror would symbolize my recovery. Meaning that at age 32, exactly 1 year from now, my curse that is PFS would finally end. Heheh... isnt this ironic?
I think that's another mental thing, if you believe you were cursed, then you will always subconsciously carry that around, even if you don't realize it. but there's no reason not to believe that your spell will be broken next year and you will be fully recovered if you keep working ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by K8668B
you got it dude, you have it all in your head, now you just have to put it into practice some more.
there's a lot of articles you could read about meditating, but there's never one size fits all. CD rec's an app that creates binaural waves that will help calm your mind and get you in the mood to meditate. you don't need to sit a particular way, you don't even need to sit. you can lay down if you want, you just have to be comfortable and sit there with your thoughts for a while. wherever you are, whatever position you're in, just focus on your breath, and when you inevitably get distracted by your mind, focus on why that thought came into your mind, especially if it's negative, so that you can understand where those thoughts are coming from. realize that the negative thoughts are never justified and that worrying about them is in no way productive to your happyness. keep doing this with everything, and you will see PFS as something as common and as ordinary as the sound of birds that you may hear outside your house while you lay in your bed meditating. nothing will be good, nothing will be bad, nothing will be scary, because nothing is truly scary, bad or good. there is only you, and what you make of these things.
you can even meditate on things very quickly, while you're sat in your car, waiting in line, even when you're doing trivial activities, you can achieve this same sort of meditative state where you truly lose track of time and you simply become aware of only the moment and how you are simply a creature experiencing this moment.
Thoughts are things. They need to be controlled above all else.
Start practicing being present. Just like Ridd mentions here. In the car at a traffic light. Taking out the garbage, taking a shower, etc. Just focus on the here and the now and nothing else.
The sooner you get control over your thoughts, the better. Learn to accept what is and not put towards it any judgement. The saying "it is what it is" is one of my favorites for a reason.....because it's true. Learn to be an observer of your thoughts. Let them come, and let them go. Practice just being, and not reacting. The more you do this, the more centered and calm you'll become, the quicker you'll start to reclaim your mind and not let negative thoughts effect you.
If you want to dive deeper into this practice, I'm going to recommend you start researching Eckhart Tolle. He is the master at mindset.
PFS is not only beaten through mindset, but your whole life is controlled....or not controlled in the mind first.
When you watch his videos, the first thing you'll notice about him is how "in the now" he is. To most people at first, they can't get through his videos because their heads are all over the place. Notice how even in a room full of students he is completely present.
This is a fantastic life practice, PFS or not.
I will definitely look into that, CD!Quote:
Originally Posted by Cdsnuts
An update. Im definitely viewing this now as a marathon as opposed to a sprint. Im not rushing it anymore. But perhaps despite having PFS, we all have our own individual symptoms, and are bodies are all different.
I've been a little bit under the weather lately. My veins havent been as freaky/vibrant lately, and i was freaking out wondering why. Well ive definitely been under the weather, and thats why. Especially today. Its my day off from work, and i needed to sleep in, and sure as shit i forgot to turn my cell phone off, and my alarm was set for 6am and it went off. I got to bed around 10pm-11pm the night before, which is good, but i was already having some adrenal fatigue built up. What a jynx, so that alarm really pissed me off! Couldnt get back to bed.
I was wondering if i may have had an allergic reaction to the pine pollen powder. I hear of people having allergies due to pollen in the springtime back up north. I suppose i had some myself when i lived up north, but i cant remember for sure. Ive been off of the PPP for a few days now. Not feeling better. Just now, i realized it may be the magnesium calm powder. Ive been eating quite a high amount of it lately. I sprinkle it in my protein shakes in the blender. If im not mistaken, i remember you CD saying somewhere to take magnesium on a daily basis at first, and then eventually limit it to every other day. I remember overloading at that same calm magnesium powder about a year ago, and having rapid heart beat/heart palpitations from it. And all day ive had this rapid heartbeat. Nothing crazy, but somewhat annoying.
Getting closer and closer to Super andro RX!
Today is my payday from work!
I don't know what the hell it was that was causing my veins to not be as vibrant, but it definitely wasnt the pine pollen powder. So i got back on the PPP for daily use yesterday. While still doing the 1-herb-a-day rotation the whole time. I think i know the answer to why my veins are slightly "less" lately-----My veins are still good, but before they were more veiny than ever, because of all the euphoria i had when i discovered this protocol. Now, my mood is slightly down, (but not super bad or depressed), because i now know what ive gotten myself into, and that this is gonna be a LONG fight, like a marathon.
I'm doing well, constantly getting better in the gym. Almost back to my old look and old "genetic potential"... about 85% there already actually. Took longer this time, because that 15 day fast was longer than i thought! It makes a 7 day fast look like nothing!!
I think i have mastered breath work! It has helped. It definitely is ideal to do so upon waking, and right before bed if you can. I get it in a few times a week. I looked up eckhart tolle on youtube about meditation. Cheesy dude, but he is definitely in the moment. His videos can be long and very hard to understand for me though. I just have to learn how to meditate. It will take some adjusting just like the breath work did.
My dick has been in a major downswing lately too. Still havent noticed any progress on the sexual side yet. Everything else seems good though. Digestive system has been great, and seems to get better everyday. It has been almost 5 weeks since breaking my fast.
So question.... payday today..... Should i go ahead and order the Super andro rx and start a cycle? And is there another product i need to use while taking it, like something for the liver/kidneys? I heard you were supposed to stack something with it. Would it be too early to start the cycle?
I reckon do the herbs for 2 months first, taking the pine pollen powder everyday. It's better to take the r andro when your hormones are up.