Not sure if I have PFS, or something else...
I am fortunate to find this board and TMO. I had posted my story as best I could recall in a short fashion on reddit. I'll paste below the text and the link,
How mismanaged trt and ancillary use led to permanent ED : moreplatesmoredates
Mid March begin trt 200mg/week, erection quality worsened by late March, 100% erections to 80%, but penis still functioned normally, just felt less inflated.
Used HCG late March when balls started to shrink, erections go from 80% to 85%. Used protocol of 250iu eod to start. I found days of no hcg softer erections than the day I used hcg, especially a few hours after.
April 10 start Ru58841 50mg/day on scalp. No issues, still 85% erections .
May 4 donate blood 450ml. I was feeling sluggish, and had a nose bleed in my sleep that was kind of thick. The donation center said my hemoglobin is 16.9, so hematocrit would be close to 51-, maybe higher if I was dehydrated? Immediately after blood gone, I felt less sluggish and more light.
May 16,use 1mg topical dut, may 24 use 1mg topical dut. Following day felt itchy nipples, gyno symptoms, took first aromasin dose 12.5mg as precaution, next day had a lump form overnight at breast area. Stopped the topical dut after 2 weeks and ai use after that one dose. A few days in during week 2 after 2nd dose and ai dose, erections were at 0%. I had orgasm while fully soft. I believe due to the dut or maybe AI.
June 1 - June 16 erection quality recovered back to 70/80%. I used Leo, Steve protocol for hcg heavy use.. 2kiu eod for a couple weeks. Saw some return to life in penis.
June 17 woke up with burning urethra towards the base of the spongeosum during urination. Suspected Std, booked appointment for June 24 with Dr. The burning urine feeling was only once per day in the morning, and was not as bad if I drank a lot of water prior to bed.
June 30 tests come negative, July 10 more negative tests, urinalysis shows everything normal, no culture growth in urine. Experimented with pt141 to get erections better, but still 80% and no random erections /hit or miss morning wood. Noticing I can only get hard with stimulation and only with the girl im seeing.
July 15+, burning urethra now also paired with itchy urethra for rest of the day, persisted into September.
July 27 stop enanthate pins
August 2 start propionate 20mg/day
August 24, took prostate digital exam, Dr thinks it's normal. PSA levels low. Blood work shows e2 at 59pg/ml. Took AI aromasin 12.5mg eod for 10 days. By end of 10 days, erections disappeared. Weak morning woods. It's like my penis trying to get hard but cannot.also notice long and skinny penis, girth has been lost by e2 crashing, is a side effect I read on e2 handbook steroid subreddit.
Late August to early September, take 2kiu hcg eod again after the AI probably nuked my e2. Didn't have the recover relief like I did after dut use.
September early, quit trt and bridge remaining days to pct with hcg because I am tired of poor erections, and burning urethra feeling. Have blood tests, free T middle of range, e2 sensitive was 19pg/ml. Prolactin 13ug/L. My erections issues are not e2 related at all. This is more complex. Even behavior of the penis is very off.
Mid September, have intense burning pain in penis, perinium, and scrotal ceiling when pressing, and difficulty urinating. Feeling of aching penis constantly, like it had been stretched inside. Feeling of having to urinate, but unable to.. Sitting on toilet for 5-10 minutes and eventually drops of pee come out and relief comes briefly, then feeling returns. Warm baths help to pee out. Start pct September 20.
October 7 Dr give doxycycline for 2 weeks, theorizing prostatitis. By week 1 end, most pain gone. By 2nd week all symptoms of penile pain and perinium, urinary issues gone. Only 1 urine issue is weak stream pretty often, to this day still weak stream sometimes.
during this course of antbx i Developed hard flaccid syndrome around this time, but morning woods are sometimes 80% or 90%, or 40%, random and can't predict what's going on with them. Sometimes wake up at 4am with stiff penis, sometimes bendy. Penis can fill with blood but is soft and long flaccid a lot of the times an just rests on my thigh. Neurogenic /psychogenic erections are very strange, they get to long flaccid state then stuck there, need stimulation to get harder. I notice erections go away when standing unless I'm already as hard as I can from stimulation lying down. I never get hard walking or moving around like I did before start trt.
Penis feels disconnected from my brain. Lifeless. I cannot tell when I have a erection like before. It feels weak, I used to have throbbing hard erection and pulsing feeling but it's entirely gone.It feels tense and hard like a flexed bicep, but no rigidity. This is in hard small flaccid mode also during long flaccid it feels tight and weak. Like a floppy worm that can't get harder. After ejaculation, the penis goes from 70-90% hard to long flaccid mode, where it stays like that for a very long period of time like 5+ minutes. Detumescence feels very strange, like blood gets stuck in the penis after orgasm when trying to void. I theorized my issue is fake testosterone was maybe Decca, and hence Decca dick but no ability to hplc test for the compounds in the vials I was using. If deca, then some guys had ed for 6+ years after stopping using Decca. I have ultrasound soon for pelvic region and urinary tract. Hope to find any issues there with r prostate or inflammation /strictures.
Curious why pain and inflammation disappeared after doxycycline, was it bacterial infection causing the pain? It's been 1 week since last dose and pain didn't return. Is it different than what's causing the ED or maybe it's compounding the ED problem?
My blood work is very good except poor egfr /creatinine (at 114 creatinine and 73 egfr) ferritin very low, below referent e range. Lh and fsh at 0. I'm finished Pct drugs now, and penis have no more prostatitis pain which is good, but stuck with hard flaccids and long flaccids and hit or miss erection quality, and disconnect feeling from penis. still waking up with sex dreams like my body is trying to get a hardon, but i feel my penis with hand and its bending like 50% hard. I cannot register how hard my erections are anymore either without hand checking. I used to know if im 100% or semi chub, now it all feels the same to me. I still can orgasm and it feels good. I had electric pulses in my spongeosum while ejaculating one time. leading me to believe it's nerve / pudendal nerve. After orgasm penis is painful and feels tight, and a clamping feeling at base of penis is there.. also the urethra feels like its scratched up or something. I'm trying to get MRI and cavernosograms to check for physical damage of the penis, and angiography and venography with inject, with contrast and without contrast to check for vascular issues.
Be careful with these compound. You're favorite you tubers talk like it's fun and games or Leo talk about taking 1000 different medications, but we are gamble of permanent damage every time. I thoug
ht just trt dose and ai /dut/ RU wouldn't cause this to me. Now I'm stuck with non functioning penis and i have NO IDEA what caused it. Initially TRT made my penis softer, but didnt completely nuke my function. When i switched from enanthate to propionate on August 4th, i actually had 4 days wher eI got very strong boners and after that it went downhill again.
If anyone knows where to do HPLC testing for what was in my vials please let me know. Janoshik is in EU and hard to send anything there from canada, have to claim customs declaration package which is obviously sketchy with what im trying to get analyzed. I want to make sure it wasn't contaminated with anything like heavy metals or something else.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore, things are very dire. I feel i wake up every night at 4am with depression and anxiety, heart palpitations, weak erections. I want to forget about my penis, but the feeling of pain in there and hard flaccid remind me every day of its existence, even though it feel numb. The neurological effect also feel likeI am alone, depressed, trapped inside this condition. I just want to return to my old self before all this experimentation of self betterment through 'performance' drugs. I really ruined my life and want to come back, but I fear I will need penile implant just to have sex again, and failing all my course from depression and will lose my job soon. I'm ready to take time off everything just to focus on getting better, but I need to know its possible. I will read total male optimization and pray I can come back to how I was before or better. Not only in penis function, but mentally too.
Edit-
I just wanted to post this thread here as well, Major ED. Thinking of a penile implant. : Testosterone
I made it after some post PCT blood work. I am taking cistanche and tongkat ali, which is why i think my Total T is high, and shbg is high because i recently finished PCT so nolvadex increase shbg. Either way, i dont feel like i have high test.. and the free test is a calculation based from shbg and total T. I feel like my androgen receptors dont respond to T or dht anymore in my penis.. idk what is going on. I am ready to fast for 20 days or more until near death if i have to get rid of this
