Oh also, my wife is very musical, as is all her family... she's a relative of Jonny Cash...
I robbed her of a cool as fuck surname, definitely should have taken that when we got married haha!
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Oh also, my wife is very musical, as is all her family... she's a relative of Jonny Cash...
I robbed her of a cool as fuck surname, definitely should have taken that when we got married haha!
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Cheers Swill and all for the comments, and Swill that is a seriously cool story about Johnny Cash! I'm a big fan of his. To Jacknap, yes I've noticed that there are a lot of musicians here, Vanity plays a big part, you want to stay looking young, it's a big part of that world, you go past your sell by date pretty quickly, it's part of what got me into trouble with Fin anyway, however we've all learned the hard way that fucking with Mother Nature is not the way to go and we've all paid a high price for that.
One good thing about this whole PFS Shitstorm is that i've learned to focus on what's actually important in life and have realised the folly of my old ways, stressing about hair etc and how insane it is to take a chemical that interferes with the flow of nature. Not that there's anything wrong with wanting to look our best, but taking drugs at the risk of damaging our health because of Vanity is in hindsight, insane. Now I could not give a flying fuck about my hair, it's totally unimportant to me, all that matters is health and peace of mind.
Sorry bro, life took over and be off the grid for a few days so only now seeing this!
Haha yup its true, I actually have some of the Cash family over with me visiting now... The relation isn't immediate, but not too far away, a 2nd or 3rd cousin thing... I'm not really sure how the non-immediate cousin classification thing works lol. We were actually invited to a 'Cash family reunion' at the beginning of the summer but we couldnt make it over due to logistics... that would have been cool.
Yeah I feel for my wife, the Williams name is nowhere near as cool as the Cash one :p
Will dig up some mp3's of some old tracks from one of the albums and mail it over to you bro!
Hi Guys,
I’m checking in with an update and also wanted to wish all of you a very happy Christmas.
I’ve been doing really good, just for total clarity I’m going to outline my symptoms as I was a little vague when I started here and I do think this helps guys starting to see exact symptoms and also to prove that they are not permanent
Took Fin for less than a week in October 2016, on fourth day I woke up to find my genitals completely numb, That was just the beginning of the shit storm, I suffered severe anxiety/depression after this and bouts of insomnia over the next number of months, the longest I went without sleep was approx four days, but most often i might sleep an hour or two a night for a good five months. I felt permanently spaced out. I lost weight rapidly and face went gaunt, I also began to notice my penis curve to left and become narrower and shorter, I wasn’t able to have sex and trying to get turned was just not working. I became suicidal and rang hotlines a number of times looking for help and also tried to place myself in a mental health facility, I then attempted suicide with vodka and some pills, not enough to kill myself but i passed out at a riverbank and thankfully woke up, I am ashamed of this as life is a great gift and I very nearly threw it away, but I just didn’t want to live like that anymore, like half a man. I clearly remember the night I did it, it was after reading posts on PH and one that Mew had previously posted, one of his scary scientific ones, you know the usual sides are permanent etc and we’ve found the enzyme in the rat has been permanently down modulated or whatever the fuck! you guys know what I’m talking about there, i’m not good with the science of this and frankly it always scared the shit out of me and I just said fuck this, enough, I am doomed. That is why I hate PH so much. I almost lost my life over it.
Following this, things didn't get better, i tried uros, shrinks, endos, none could help me, endo was good but gave me more spritual guidance, i do remember him saying my pulse was through the roof yet I appeared very calm, I said this is what its been like for months basically a four/five month long panic attack. I had seen the odd post on ph and solve pfs about cd and I joined up but I was still extremely fucked up and not helping myself by logging into the other forums.
I have been consistently on the program since May of this year minus prohormones and my current symptoms are
Sensitivity on penis shaft - much better
Weight- stable and healthy
Sleep - 7 hours a night
Libido - much better, not raging but I had zero for 6/7 months and slowly but surely has crept back, I want to have sex again and can.
The only lingering symptoms I have are curvature and slight size/girth loss. I am totally cool about them because I get that these take time and I've researched ED sites so I’m going to incorporate some training to straighten out the auld Junk!
The most important aspect of CDs method in my opinion is positivity, I really do, if that isn’t right forget any treatments.
One very interesting observation I have made is earlier in the week when that rat posted all that shit about cd I went back and logged into PH, immediately my anxiety went up, heart rate went up and interestingly I started getting bad Ball Ache whilst reading the posts fucking weird I know but true, its like our bodies hold onto stress which then manifests as a physical symptom, that night I also couldn’t sleep, so it’s no surprise if you are logging in there daily your not going to be feeling good. I really think this aspect of PFS is huge and overlooked or not a comfortable topic for the admins at PH. I do plan on posting on PH and Solve PFS when I fully recover as it’s important that new guys hear this and there are a lot of good guys there too who tried to help me in the beginning, now is not just the right time for that.
So looking ahead I see myself being fully recovered by summer 2018, that’s my goal and then go on a holiday to the states, I love traveling and the U.S is my favorite country to visit, I’ve been many times so it will be a great reward to myself at the end of this PFS bollox!
I again want to express my thanks to CD and to all you guys, your posts are like therapy, I do love it here. So positive and great information from kind helpful dudes. I know some criticize CD for being harsh at times however I think he is correct in his approach, a tough love approach, if the site started getting into ‘’oh yeah me too i have bad water weight too my god how terrible we’re doomed instead of saying get your fucking ass to the fucking gym, ha etc etc the site would quickly descend into anarchy. It’s important that here continues this way as it’s a lifesaver, it really is and the negativity is a cancer that must be stomped out.
Happy Christmas brothers, I plan to log out here until the new year and wish you all the absolute best in your road to recovery
Peace
Jimmy
[QUOTE=sunny1;57815]congratz on your improvements. please reply to PMs.[/QUOTE
Sunny, I did reply to your PM, I asked were you rotating herbs yet? Are you? If you can only afford a few, I would go with it
Cistanche
He shou wu
Tongkat
Shilajit
Pine Pollen Powder daily
L Dopa
Royal Jelly
I supplement daily with vit d, vit c, and magnesium at night.
I’m not saying this is easy, it’s not, it’s a big lifestyle change, well for me it was, I was a big drinker partyer ate shit etc and had to drop all of that which wasn’t easy and lost some people who just couldn’t get why I didn’t want to drink anymore, so yes it’s fucking hard, I became a bit of a hermit to avoid my social scene but I’ve started making nice money teaching guitar, a good clean pastime so I put a lot of my energy into that to keep my mind off PFS, it’s starting to pay off and in time I hope to setup a guitar teaching business, a good pastime or other ways to expend your energy is a very good idea during this bro.
Like I said in my PM our symptoms were almost exactly the same, but I had to make a decision to completely cut off other sites that dragged me down like PH etc, I can’t express that enough, I can’t say anything else really, you should listen to my advice, in fact unplugging from all forums even here and chip away at above is the best advice I can give you, I know you are in a bad spot bro but you have to listen it’s for your own good and you CAN get better.
I wish you all the best
Jimmy
it's also a chicken or the egg thing though. the better I get the easier it is to not think of pfs and lurk forums lol.