XXIV said it pretty well in my book...... Sorry to hear that your going through some shit but I bet we all have, different areas but we have all been through hell one way or another.
Ive gone down the road your going down. It wasnt until a friend called me a puss for not facing life that I decided to do just that and face it. Its harder than drinking it away but man is it 10000x more rewarding.
Keep your head up, look for those small positives that happen everyday.