Hi everyone

[Cdsnuts]

I hear you about sunning the boys, I'm from Dublin so Sun is a rare treat!

Anyway being honest I'm still in the valley with this shit and have a way to go so won't lie to you and say all is rosy, but from going from living in hell for months to periods of at first from half a day to a full week of feeling normal mentally things are turning for me and I am starting to recognise what makes me feel stable and what makes me plummet and send me to the edge.

My sides are genital numbness (as in shaft doesn't sense touch) and lessened sensitivity in head and testicles, penis has developed a bad curve to left which slowly crept up on me, testicular pain, and loss of morning erections and loss of any libido or desire for my gf and just general loss of mojo for want of a better word. Also severe insomnia ,anxiety, loss of muscle and appetite.

Now as I said I have not fully embraced the program yet namely the full juice feast, I have started going paleo and hitting gym using hiit and have purchased small amount of herbs still more to go along with brief spells of water fasting for two days is longest I've gone, I am back in work full time so not in a position to do full water fast so I will go juice feast, I have a week off start of march that's when I will hit this full on with feast etc.
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Anyway when I have applied above this has coincided with me feeling mentally much more stable and return of morning erections and small bit of desire/libido so it shows me that if I hit it full on I can only feel much better and that it's working but more importantly I believe in this path, I have no faith in going down the trt/drug route so many it seems have tried it without success.

I didn't do myself any favours when I first got hit back in October I panicked and went to shit, I used alcohol to calm myself and didn't completely stop fap, I just did not know what I was facing and what was happening to me, I went sick from work and withdrew from friends and family, bear in mind I was super efficient in work and managed a number of staff and also juggled a busy career as a musician before this, it hit me like a train. The biggest disservice I did to myself was constantly researching forums like Propecia help but it's really the first thing that pops up when you research side effects, would be a lot more helpful if it was here as it proves it isn't permanent. The Stories made me suicidal and no doubt ramped up my anxiety and set me back dramatically, there's a lot of good guys there but I got stuck on the forums reading posts by guys such as Mew who had similiar side effects to me and who seems a very smart guy but Jesus he was hell bent on stating that we are fucked and there's no way back from it and just a seriously negative/hopeless vibe on that forum, I just plummeted reading his theories and was very very close to suicide over Christmas then found cds nuts story and English and what they were saying gave me a bit of hope.

I then found here and have slowly just started looking at this forum, this has helped me as the positivity is what we need to get through, a huge part of this is in the mind, if we give up mentally our bodies will not recover that's my belief anyway. So I see it as one step at a time, get the mind right and with doing what's stated on the protocol the rest will follow. In terms of numbness what helps is extended period of no fap, it improves after that ever so slightly.

So now my morning wood has returned every day, and that's a good start for me, the numbness is weird as in its still there and fucks with my head but I do think that could be tied to the brain switching off due to severe stress/anxiety it's a tough one as in I cannot honestly remember how sensitive I was beforehand but it still does not feel right yet particularly top of shaft. My sleep and anxiety are still a problem but I'm hoping in time they will improve once my body starts kicking back in.

Anyway I still have a ways to go and not back to myself, one thing I have learned I just cannot touch drink now it's just like my body and mind cannot handle it so I've completely cut it out which is hard in ireland and because my social life before fin revolved around it but I don't care it's just not worth the downward spiral it causes.

You are in a great position as you got here early so I hope my path here can teach you a few things about what to avoid and most importantly get on the protocol asap. Just stay positive and if you ever want to meet up for a chat in Dublin give me a shout.

Good luck man

Jimmy

This is how it starts....

You'll start to have good, clear days...even if it's just for a little while. The good days will become more often and last longer and the bad days will start to decrease.....little by little. After months and months you'll start to have more good days then bad days until the bad days are in the minority...and then eventually, you won't have anymore bad days..

You just have to stay the course.