Originally Posted by
jimmyjonas
Hi Lads
Checking in with an update, it's been just under a year of living with pfs and things are really picking up for me in the last few weeks, everything is getting better in terms of symptoms, sensitivity a lot better, curve not as severe, mentally i feel im returning to who I was before I touched fin.
I am a musician and hadn't been able to write a song until the last couple weeks, this after a year of nothing, no Creativity, Like a year in the black, in every way, sexually, mentally, existing not living, I know everyone here can relate to that.
I've been keeping my head down, exercising before work, eating clean and rotating the herbs everyday, thats really it, no prohormes as of yet, my favourite herbs are he shou wu and Pine Pollen. I had a few bad slips with alcohol in early stages but since May ive got my shit together and consistently have chipped away with the protocol and in last few weeks I feel everything is turning for me, CD mentioned in a post about getting that feeling of calm after it being gone for so long and I felt that for first time last couple weeks, I was in tears I am not afraid to admit that after wanting to feel like me for so long.
A year with pfs is not long as I know many guys here live with it for years and years, I feel for you guys I really do, 10 plus years with PFS is some serious cross to bear, I admire your strength to have hung in there.
Its been a crazy year, early months hanging on prop help and solve pfs, reading every study i could find about pfs, visiting countless docs, a shrink, all of this led me to a half botched suicide attempt, I thought I was done for, I remember being called into head office by my boss basically asking what the fuck is wrong with you, everyone is worried about you, I grew a beard and lost a ton of weight, it was a humiliating moment for me having been at the top of my game in my job for so long and was very close to losing my job, my livelihood. Christmas was a horror show and did not see a light, I didn't want to hang around if this was the way things were going to continue. Thankfully I feel very different today, im not 100% but i'm close.
The turning point for me was finding Swole Source and cds posts and protocol. Not overnight, its hard and takes time but improvements do come. I love how this forum approaches PFS, there's no talk of doom, there's no you're fucked forever, there's none of that negativity. Im my opinion that minsdset is half the battle along with applying the protocol. Almost everyone you come across on Prop Help is not improving or getting worse, these guys dont realise they are standing in their own way and are bringing everyone else down with them, I still blame the admins of these sites as their prophecies of doom have a hugely negative effect on new guys that join up and believe what they are reading. Sadly, many young guys are gone that bought into that doom, fucking tragic.
Finally whats really helped me is to stop trying to understand PFS, it's something that nobody fully understands and much valuable time is wasted going down that road, Durantia hit on that in a recent post and I fully agree. Propecia is a seriously dangerous drug and should be removed from the market but to recover putting those thoughts aside and just chipping away with protocol is essential, also ive limited my time visiting the site, as much as I love this community it has helped me to limit my visits and keep my mind on life and living, ive gone from a few times a day to once or twice a week, its helped me anyway.
Im not 100% but a hell of a lot better and firmly believe I will come out of this in a better place physically than I was before I started. God bless you CD, you are doing a serious service to your fellow man by running this community the way you have, which has in my opinion saved lives, if you are ever in Ireland I owe you a pint of Guinness.
Cheers lads
Jimmy