Thanks all for the responses.
I decided to take the weekend off driving myself mad and reading up on stuff. It's still hard to think about other stuff with the sting of regret but I woke up on Saturday and Sunday with blood flowing in all the right places so I'm hopeful. A big part of this is surely psychological. I've dropped the AI from my regimen and I'm going to replace it with a cycle of prohormones.
I'm from the north west, near to Blackpool.
No worries, I admit I am/have been guilty of constantly trying to reassure myself and obsessively searching up things on google. It's something I'm trying to stop but I never intended to start a pity party here.
Something I need to remember that's specific to avodart is it's half life (about 5 weeks). The medical leaflet says you can't even give blood until at least 6 months after your last pill, so there must still be some effective trace of the drug in my system. I read that it takes about 6 half lives (just over 7 months in this case) for the drug to be 99% gone from your system so I have that to wait out. Hopefully soon after that, around march time, the drug will be completely gone. In the mean time I need to focus on overcoming the mental effects and creating a better physical condition.