Listen....I know what that feels like and I know where you're coming from. As a matter of fact most guys that end up here know that feeling. It makes life feel like it's not worth living.....at least that's what it made me feel like.
When ever you're ready to stop experimenting and getting that out of your system, you know what you have to do to fix it. You're a smart guy so I'll leave it at that.
When ever you're ready.
I may have asked before, but how old are you Joe?