I can explain that to you......it FUCKING SUCKED. Never knowing if what you were doing was going to amount to anything. Wracking your brain because you're suffering and not sure if what you're doing is even going to make a difference. It was a lonely, dark, depressing place to be for as long as I was.
That's why I'm so on you guys about this shit. You have it (relatively) easy. Do these outlined things, stick to it, and get better. I wish I had this place when I was in the throws of it. You kidding me? You guys have access to gold here. Use it.