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  1. #21
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 xxaleksi's Avatar
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    Also, you might not feel the ultra hard much while on cycle but you might feel it after stopping it (baseline increase).

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by xxaleksi View Post
    Also, you might not feel the ultra hard much while on cycle but you might feel it after stopping it (baseline increase).
    Do you feel your cycles anymore? I’ve been UH and Alpha 4 for over a month and haven’t felt anything really. Big difference from my previous ones.

  3. #23
    SwoleSource Member Feedback Score 0 GoldenSun's Avatar
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    Post Venting.. and some advice would be appreciated

    I just can't wait until I have a concrete improvement, one that even if it goes away and comes back I can know for certain that it is from this protocol. Last month I had legitimate sexual urges a few times per day for about a week or two. These urges would even stick after jerking off! I didn't feel close to cured or anything but I did have a concrete thing to latch on to and say "this feels better" and you guys have no idea how much of a great feeling that was. In that state I was able to put PFS in the back of my mind as a thing that I will be done with eventually and I just went on with my life without despair. Like the roller coaster recovery is, this improvement vanished.

    I was not too worried though, I expected improvements to come and go. What is really causing me to despair again is not that they went away, it was something I remembered. I remember back in may (before I started the protocol) I had a few sexual urges for about a week, they were not as strong as the ones I experienced last moth but they were there. This has had me worried that these urges I experienced recently were not caused by the protocol but they are just my natural "once in a blue moon" sexual urges if you know what I mean. I just wish I could know that they were caused by the protocol and not just my body feeling okay every once and a while. For example, lets say this week said sexual urges came back. That would be proof of the protocol working in my mind because that is a concrete sequence I have not experienced, back to back sexual urges in a short period.

    The thing that is hellish and haunting about this condition is not the symptoms. If my dick shrunk, my libido vanished and my brain got consumed by severe depression, but I knew it would only be a year of torment I would just push through. This condition is so horrible because of the life sentence associated with it, the life sentence the entire internet except this forum believes in. This condition is believed to be a personal hell, one that parallels the Muslim/Christian view of hell perfectly. An enteral torment with no hope of ending. This forum is the only place to preach the contrary and It makes me hopeful but sadly still skeptical.

    The last thing I am wondering is if I should tell my girlfriend what I am going through. It would just feel amazing to know there is one person I love that I can talk to about this every once and a while. My fear is if I tell her it will be taken the wrong way. My dick is broken but can be used every once and a while, I can fake it until I make it but it just doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm living a lie. I just want to live my damn life. I just want to be happy again.

    I know this is a bit of a depressive rant but it made me feel better to say all of this, thank you to anyone who read this or has any advice on my situation. I'm going to force myself off of this site until I notice improvement. I will ONLY post back when I feel a bit better because f5 spamming this forum wont cure me. I wish you all the best of luck, keep fighting.



    TLDR: Not sure if improvements are because of the protocol or just because my body will feel better temporarily every once and a while (even if I was not on protocol). Venting about the life-long nature believed about this condition, and lastly venting on how I have kept my condition a secret from my girlfriend and how this makes my life feel like a lie.

  4. #24
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    You need to switch your victim mentality to a victor mentality. You’re just a few months in. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

  5. #25
    SwoleSource Member Feedback Score 0 GoldenSun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brooks View Post
    You need to switch your victim mentality to a victor mentality. You’re just a few months in. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
    I know brother, it's just tough. I can only imagine the way I'll feel when this is over with. I will feel better than before I had PFS, I know that. I also know once I get that ONE improvement that I know is one from this protocol my mind will be more at ease.

    Also, do you know how long it took for you to see some improvement?
    Last edited by GoldenSun; 11-22-2021 at 09:08 PM.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoldenSun View Post
    I know brother, it's just tough. I can only imagine the way I'll feel when this is over with. I will feel better than before I had PFS, I know that. I also know once I get that ONE improvement that I know is one from this protocol my mind will be more at ease.

    Also, do you know how long it took for you to see some improvement?
    I could only tell in hindsight. At the time it didn’t feel like much. Then I’d look back over a span of months and realize I’d clearly moved forward.

    The best thing you can do is not ruminate or obsess man. Take a break from forums and get to work!

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brooks View Post
    I could only tell in hindsight. At the time it didn’t feel like much. Then I’d look back over a span of months and realize I’d clearly moved forward.

    The best thing you can do is not ruminate or obsess man. Take a break from forums and get to work!
    Brooks is right. All things in this world seem to have a half life, except for fuckin’ fin I guess (ha ha). It’s true with improvements, at least in my opinion though. If you have a spontaneous improvement, odds are it will fade as quickly as it came. I don’t say this to discourage you; I say it so you don’t become discouraged when it inevitably happens.

    The true improvements occur subtly and imperceptibly over time. Others around you will begin to notice it first. If people around you start to remark at a positive change in you – believe them. It’s because it’s true.

    Good luck dude, you will receive back as much as you put into this. Hold yourself accountable, but be kind to yourself. Obsession and rumination is really just a maladaptive motivating/coping mechanism, and sometimes it’s even an insidious form of self-punishment.

    Ratchet
    Last edited by Ratchet_V2; 11-22-2021 at 11:08 PM.

  8. #28
    SwoleSource Member Feedback Score 0 GoldenSun's Avatar
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    Riding the recovery roller coaster

    I was in no way expected to be back on this forum this quickly but here we go lol. My lord, this recovery the biggest emotional roller coaster I could imagine.

    Last night I was on here despair posting and what do you know, the very next day I notice improvements. I can officially say I am feeling the UH after about 2ish weeks (I forget the exact amount of time). My depression/lack of emotions lifted a bit today. I don't know how to explain it. I feel like I was present, really in the moment today. I could feel the sun and the breeze on my skin, I felt witty and quick to think and music was a bit more enjoyable. I just feel more like myself, not all the way but I almost feel this nostalgic feeling of "Oh, this is what life feels like!". It's a feeling I cant really but into words, I just felt more like my self, more present.

    I expect this feeling to fade but its great to know I am having some relief from my downswing. The way I felt today took me back to March 11th, the day before I used minoxidil. I don't feel cured or all the way better but I do just feel like I am alive again, even if just slightly. It's like my brain got dopamine for the first time in 7 months, great feeling. I just need to stop despairing even when this feeling leaves. I wish you all the best of luck on recovery, I will be back once again when I notice improvement, God bless.

  9. #29
    SwoleSource Member Feedback Score 0 GoldenSun's Avatar
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    More improvements.
    Libido went up a bit over the last day along with some improvement on penile sensitivity.
    I am definitely feeling my cycle now. Lets keep going!

  10. #30
    SwoleSource Member Feedback Score 0 GoldenSun's Avatar
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    Just checking in to say wow, this is my first real up swing. I am feeling horny as a dog today. Not as much as I used to but damn. I'm not expecting this to be the new norm, I know how this goes now lol but seriously I am feeling pretty good in the sexual department.

    I will use this to say I am confident that Rogaine/Minoxidil is a 5ar inhibitor. There is a research paper that says it is a light one, some others say its not. I will say, I took that stuff for fourish days and it made my penis shrink, libido vanish and emotions become blunt and hoping on a protocol for PFS is the only thing that is helping. This is all the proof I need that Rogaine is a 5ar inhibitor. If some dudes get PFS from using Saw P for a few days and others get it after dutasteride for 10 years, this makes me think it really doesn't matter on the amount but what your genetics predispose you for. Meaning if I took SSRIS, Accutane, Saw P, Fin I would probably be in the same situation if not worse. All of this shit can cause the same thing and It's looking like CD is the only guy who has a protocol to get us out.

    I'm going to roll with this uptick and enjoy some head from my GF for the first time in a while. Godspeed brothers. I just hope I don't fall for the downswing dooms again.

    Also, for the people on the forum saying UH could be weaker now, that is not the case for me. I am feeling it on 5 pumps
    Last edited by GoldenSun; 11-27-2021 at 07:21 PM.

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