Originally Posted by
GoldenSun
For the past 3 months, the protocol stopped working on me. I was feeling so much better in November - Jan, Serious improvements on depression along with a very predictable libido up and down. I felt like I had control over my life again and my body would have ups and downs but with a general trend up. I had moments with great libido and moments of euphoria while on my first cycle. But ever since around 2-3 months ago it has been a downward trend. I still have had days with good libido but my lord I don't know what is going on. Symptoms of extreme depression and anxiety creeped back in.
During my second pro hormone run I felt nothing and so I stopped pre-maturely. I have been in hell over the last 3 months. My improvements in the beginning were amazing. I went from hopeless to hope filled. I was actually at a point in December where I worried because my life felt livable (just muted) and I was worried I would "put up with it" and kinda just let PFS fade to the back of my memory. I worried about this because while life was livable again, it wasn't as good as before PFS and I didn't want to put up with mediocrity. Now PFS is on my mind 24/7 because I am truly suffering again.
I recently talked to some people who have gotten cured from the protocol, so I know it can happen. This protocol is seriously my only hope in life. I pray I see an upswing because living in the hellish depressed state I am living in is not life at all.
Let me explain, the libido and ed are one thing but the anhedonia is another beast. When I had my upswing in Nov-Jan my libido was not as good as before PFS and I still had ED, but what made life livable was how I felt. I could enjoy music again, I could enjoy gaming again, I could enjoy books again, I could enjoy sun and nature again. Though I enjoyed these things through a "blurry filter" I still had feeling again. For whatever reason for the last few months I had that soul crushing anhedonia hit again and it makes life unbearable. I have read so many logs on this site they all kinda blend, but I cant remember anyone else who has suffered through a multi-month down swing. This makes me worry that the protocol is not going to work for me. But for every negative thought I do remember those who were cured. I'm just in a horrible spot right now. I just want to feel like I'm making progress again.
On a good note. My erectile shrinkage I mentioned in the past has gotten better again.