Quote Originally Posted by Atticas View Post
Thanks man.

I do have the willpower, just needed some positive, educated support and that's what I've found here. You're completely right that I am freaking out; I have been for nearly a year and 6 months. Ever since my shit shrunk up, my muscle atrophied, my face fell apart, my sleep grew weak, and my huge bouts of depression kicked in, I've been jumping from doctor to doctor, forum to forum trying to find the cure. I didn't want this to be the end of me. Thanks to people like you, it won't be.

Very well. I'm gonna talk with my boss today at work and see if I can set a week of vacation some point in May. I will try from there to go on a full water fast for a week (And yes cd, I realize that means only water lol).

I'll likely lock myself up in my room and play games or teach myself more Russian for that week since trying to work or anything else without food will likely result in me exploding on someone lol

Anyways, I'll keep you guys updated. I really appreciate everything here guys. Cdsnuts, thank you so much for your patience and detail with me here. If 6 months is what it takes to get me healed, then I'll do it.

Technically that means I'd be healed right around when October hits, which is my birthday, which is conveniently right around where I took Finasteride 2 years from then.

You're still not getting it though, because you're saying "if 6 months is what it takes then i'll do it", like it's some kind of ordeal that must be got out of the way and then stopped. This is a way of life, not water fasting obviously, but fasting is the start point, then living ridiculously healthy has to be the way of life for you - as a minimum for 2 years, regardless of recovery, and when you've lived like that for so long and felt the benefits, then it will likely become something you want to do for life anyhow.
The problem you will have with your current mindset is that you won't be feeling positive about things that are hard to do. Fasting is hard, sprints and calisthnetics are hard, sticking to a diet is hard, especially when suffering to whatever degree, so you have to enjoy all these disciplines and get jacked up by doing them, not thinking "phew, just 4 months left of this shit"
You have to have the right mindset for all of this, cd will certainly agree with me on this.
Right now you will definitely fail, i would bet my house on it. You need to do some thinking about the person you want to be and you need to see this as an opportunity to test your character.
I was feeling fucking awful and suffering with around 20 horrible symptoms, yet - for example, and this really is what i did, i would get up at 6am and swim against the waves in the sea, even in the winter, and particularly when it was relatively stormy. While doing it i was shouting and screaming stuff like "You can't beat me motherfucker, nothing can" and i was laughing while doing it, and in general i saw the whole thing as an excellent challenge and test of character, and believe it or not, i came to enjoy doing all these really difficult things while in shit state physically, and i shit you not, i did all this on no more than 3 hours sleep for 6 months. While doing all this stuff - diet, exercise and mental work - i never once thought "alright i'll do it for 6 months if i have to". That shit never crossed my mind, i knew i was going to do it for as long as it took, and then at least another 2 years on top. I read that CD kept getting better and better so i thought "i'm fucking havin some of that". Entropy did the same kind of regimen too and we kept in touch, and through the majority of my healing i was basing much of what i did around the past stuff CD had written, yet i never contacted him wondering this that or the other. Why? because it's all written, and in fact every possible query is answered during various exchanges between him and a variety of fuckwits on the PH boards.
What you guys yearn for is reassurance that this or that symptom will heal because someone elses healed, but you've got to be bigger than that, you've got to understand that you won't heal by repeatedly re-visiting your symptoms, checking whether they've got 1% better today and asking someone else about their's, you've got to break away from that crap. The reality is that if you commit to what CD has said and is saying to you, you will be a much better man at the end of it all and all of your symptoms will be gone, but only with the right mindset.
While i'm here i want to clarify that you should not cultivate a constant aggressive battling mindset, no, you need to relax like a sleeping lion whenever you can, thinking of either nothing at all, or just the mundane things in life or looking forward to something nice or remembering something nice, but then switch to alpha man for the exercise and when taking the herbs etc. You can't recover by being constantly frightened or worried or battling in your head. This is why CD recommends meditation and via centrepoint as it requires nothing but listening and it will create the beginning of a quieter mind so that you can eventually relax and not think about anything.
I hope you get what i am saying as it's very hard explaining a mindset, but this is very definitely the thing you are missing, it's ragingly obvious to me from your words.
I've done my best here and hopefully made up for taking the piss. Good luck fella, but like i say to so many, you don't need any.