Joe's Recovery Journal

[Cdsnuts]

Hey guys. It's been awhile. Just wanted to start by apologizing. I was not in a good place and I was getting frustrated with how much misery I was in and how everyone's claims on PFS and how to go about fixing it conflicted so drastically. And then everyone kept coming to me expecting answers out of me that I don't have or telling me how none of this works and it's all some grand conspiracy. It drove me nuts. I just wanted relief. Just gotta accept that we may never have the full understanding.

How am I doing? I'm doing ok. I'm not fully recovered and still have issues. But I am improved since I was last here. I'm down to the following:

-Feeling like a loose piece of rubber/wobbly
-Brain fog
-Confusion
-Low libido
-Low energy

I'm not sure how to label this, so I'll just try to summarize it. If I try to sit and watch movies, I can't. I just cannot connect with anything I'm seeing on screen well. And if I see some kind of scene where the characters are high off the ground on buildings or the shot of a scene shows the view of a large city, it makes me anxious throughout my entire body and terrified. I never used to feel like that before PFS.

In terms of what I'm doing now, I'm still doing some stuff from TMO. I get lots of sun, take vitamin D, eat clean, theanine, GABA, Bacopa, Gotu Kola, Glycine, etc. but I'm doing some other stuff as well. Just experimenting currently. Hope you all are well.

I'm glad you're moving along. But know this.....Cherry picking different pieces from different strategies rarely works. You should commit to one, and ride it out to the end. IMO, there is nothing to experiment with. You simply need to follow what has been laid out for you here until the end. That is what THIS forum is for. We know it works, so there's not much to experiment with. This board is to help those dedicated to following TMO.

I understand where you're coming from, but there is no need for you to get frustrated with any of that. Joe...I guarantee that if you went in 100% with TMO (which is the point of being here anyway) for six months, you would be in an even better place then your are now. I mean, full tilt TMO all the way. Read the recoveries for inspiration, often. There's no other place that I know of where you can do that aside from this forum.

In regards to understanding why, or what, or how, what is more important to you....knowing these things, or recovering despite not really understanding why something works vs why something doesn't? Most people would say they just want to be done with all of this mess and recover so they can move on with their lives. You can do that. You can do that here. You just have to....well......do it!

By the way I know that feeling you're describing about watching movies and not being able to connect. I fucking hated it. I couldn't even relax to watch a god damned movie. All of that can be left in the rear view man. You just gotta hit the accelerator. Pick a lane, stay in it, and floor the fucking thing. Done deal. Don't make it harder then it has to be.

Oh, and btw, not only did I have that feeling watching movies, my LIFE felt like that. Everything was flat...no depth, no connection. My whole life felt like it was on a 2D movie screen and my life felt as if I was watching it from far, far away.

It doesn't have to be. Just jump in man. Time to get it done.