Originally Posted by
Mojo
Hemo test came back. Seems it’s inflammation and not iron disease. Ferritin levels dropped sharply as well. Seems to coincide with having a fairly good upswing and doing better generally.
Had a very good 4 weeks. Some anxiety here and there, some bad nights, some sleepless still. But overall best month I’ve had since crashing. Unfortunately I’ve been hit hard by an anxiety wave last few days where I just can’t seem to catch a break. Sleep is terrible, mind is racing, I can’t even meditate without freaking out. Like, even with my eyes closed they can’t stop moving around and thoughts race through my head so fast I can’t even tell what I’m thinking off. Having these extremely intense feelings of terror and fear that prick my heart for like a fraction of a second. Not enough to send me into a panic attack, but enough to leave me unsettled and make sleep impossible. Saved some kratom for this exact scenario and it helps me cope. Wish I had some weed left over for the racing thoughts but I need to make a trip to the netherlands soon. I know it’s just a wave I have to ride out so I’m not too depressed about it.
Been eating more sugar lately. Might be that.
Libido has been good. I can’t tell for sure if the lamp is rubbing off on me but I’m having sex dreams again and waking up to boners p much every morning.
Gym’s still closed and it’s pissing me off. I need to get under a weight and into a sauna. Still sitting on this damn ultrahard bottle. I only want to break it out when I’m lifting again.
Sorry for the negative tone, thought I’d try and reverse jinx myself for once ��