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  1. #11
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RickTheRuler View Post
    Well, I feel terrible again. The downs really get to me.. this shall pass.
    In my opinion, the hardest part about this is the mental game. It's not in your head, there are chemical imbalances that take time to fix naturally, which is why most people don't do it. They want a pill....a medicine....something to take it away, but that just pushes it down deeper and causes more problems.

    As long as you're sticking to the program, you should find some solace that regardless of how you're feeling in this moment, you are doing all that you can be doing. You have to buckle up and ride this thing out. I actually welcomed some downswings because it allowed me to feel SOMETHING. I was just a numb robot going through the motions of life....watching it pass me by like a movie. I'm certainly making up for it now....not something I planned on, but something that just presented itself to me.

    Have you tried breathing through these mental dips when you're feeling like this?

    And remember...you have youth on your side. Try and find all the things to be grateful for in your current life. I know it's hard when your brain just doesn't want to operate properly, but it does help with outlook. Fake it till you make it man.....
    Last edited by Cdsnuts; 08-20-2018 at 03:54 PM.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  2. #12
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 RickTheRuler's Avatar
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    Ricky’s Ride to Baseline & Beyond

    Honestly no, but I jumped into the cold shower & meditated for most of the day. Cried a few times though which is good I guess. Emotions are emotions.

    Have not been consistent with breathing & meditating. Everything else has been dialed in.

    I called out from work today & decided to leave lifting for tomorrow. My energy was so shot. I see the fear in my dads eyes & man it’s rough. It’s a cycle that makes me feel even worse.

    Your right about the mental game. It’s easily the Hardest thing for me, the discipline of all this is easy. Lifting, herbs, supps, diet.. it’s no problem for me. I would put my head down for a couple of weeks, & I guess the weight of everything creeps up. The isolation, knowing all my friends are having fun etc. everything i do in my life basically reminds me of my PFS. in everything I do the symptoms come up, especially neurologically. the floaters & the clumsiness.. But I have been consistent since . Unfortunately I broke my nofap streak from March 25th. Frustrated for that moment of weakness. I live in NYC, so everything I want back is constantly in my face.

    USUALLY hitting PR’s on lifts was all I looked forward to, if there’s anything I’m grateful for is that I’m physically strong as a bull.. I mean I’m approaching hitting 500x10 on my DL already..I’m becoming a beast pretty quick..today I just did not care for it honestly. It’s wild. I’m searching for something to be grateful for at the moment.

    I keep getting caught up in the timeline of things as well. Don’t know why I’m
    Thinking about 2020,2021. the way my brain is right now, I can’t fucking stand it. I just want to close my eyes & want it to be 2025. I know Mileage may vary. But holy hell what’s my mileage? I have no idea .I know people get significantly better in a year or so, but man at this moment I see this as a 5 year process for me. Hate that feeling of recovery not being possible to me....on top of it all, me getting into these thought patterns makes me think it’s hindering my progress. I just need to get into that not worrying mode.

    ^^ I get it, very irrational, borderline whiny, actually extremely whiny..... I know we are not about that, but I had to get my thoughts out somewhere. I’ve been faking it for a bit. My dad is literally the only thing pushing me.

    Hopefully this means a new, higher baseline, cause this setback is big.

    Hopefully my cycle in Sept gives me a jolt.


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  3. #13
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RickTheRuler View Post
    Honestly no, but I jumped into the cold shower & meditated for most of the day. Cried a few times though which is good I guess. Emotions are emotions.

    Have not been consistent with breathing & meditating. Everything else has been dialed in.

    I called out from work today & decided to leave lifting for tomorrow. My energy was so shot. I see the fear in my dads eyes & man it’s rough. It’s a cycle that makes me feel even worse.

    Your right about the mental game. It’s easily the Hardest thing for me, the discipline of all this is easy. Lifting, herbs, supps, diet.. it’s no problem for me. I would put my head down for a couple of weeks, & I guess the weight of everything creeps up. The isolation, knowing all my friends are having fun etc. everything i do in my life basically reminds me of my PFS. in everything I do the symptoms come up, especially neurologically. the floaters & the clumsiness.. But I have been consistent since . Unfortunately I broke my nofap streak from March 25th. Frustrated for that moment of weakness. I live in NYC, so everything I want back is constantly in my face.

    USUALLY hitting PR’s on lifts was all I looked forward to, if there’s anything I’m grateful for is that I’m physically strong as a bull.. I mean I’m approaching hitting 500x10 on my DL already..I’m becoming a beast pretty quick..today I just did not care for it honestly. It’s wild. I’m searching for something to be grateful for at the moment.

    I keep getting caught up in the timeline of things as well. Don’t know why I’m
    Thinking about 2020,2021. the way my brain is right now, I can’t fucking stand it. I just want to close my eyes & want it to be 2025. I know Mileage may vary. But holy hell what’s my mileage? I have no idea .I know people get significantly better in a year or so, but man at this moment I see this as a 5 year process for me. Hate that feeling of recovery not being possible to me....on top of it all, me getting into these thought patterns makes me think it’s hindering my progress. I just need to get into that not worrying mode.

    ^^ I get it, very irrational, borderline whiny, actually extremely whiny..... I know we are not about that, but I had to get my thoughts out somewhere. I’ve been faking it for a bit. My dad is literally the only thing pushing me.

    Hopefully this means a new, higher baseline, cause this setback is big.

    Hopefully my cycle in Sept gives me a jolt.


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    The breathing exercises help tremendously with everything you're talking about. You just really have to try and stay in the moment and get out of your head. Easier said then done, I know.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  4. #14
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 RickTheRuler's Avatar
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    Ricky’s Ride to Baseline & Beyond

    Will incorporate it. Thanks again.

    Now get outta here & keep fucking 20 year olds for me .


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  5. #15
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RickTheRuler View Post
    Will incorporate it. Thanks again.

    Now get outta here & keep fucking 20 year olds for me .


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Lol....anything for a Swole Source buddy.....
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  6. #16
    A 1k Club Member Feedback Score 0 jacknap's Avatar
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    your like 4 months in right? I was pretty much same place like that. little by little found myself being more like my old self.

    I think mentally I'm pretty much back online. maybe lack some energy at times but I think that's more to sleep and not drinking as much coffee as when I was at baseline
    From rock bottom to rockstar, baby.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by jacknap View Post
    your like 4 months in right? I was pretty much same place like that. little by little found myself being more like my old self.

    I think mentally I'm pretty much back online. maybe lack some energy at times but I think that's more to sleep and not drinking as much coffee as when I was at baseline
    Memory hazy, but I had to go thru the motions months and months with fast and refeed and then the "forcing myself to gym". Soon after I was addicted again. Initially, it was very challenging. I didn't so certain exercises like deadlifts which sucks because I've been in sports rehab since 2016. Strange cartilage issues. Near everything else increased dramatically including my chest exercises which were historically my weakest point (still far weaker than shoulders, all of back, legs, etc).

    Envisioning March From Jan or July from March was not really easy. Just kept getting better (cont to I hope). Good luck. You look strong man at Rick.

    I think 4 days was hard but 30-40+ days into randro it became 5 and higher (workouts).


    Also 0-20% took long. 40% also... 60-70 etc seemed more seamless. Time was less of a pressure. Higher level, I'm a bit less obsessed. At some point I learned new skills/job skills. And then a month or so of practice, I felt "back" fwiw.

    Initially I thought it would take years making it feel SO daunting. But it's not true.

    It felt like everyone was doing well but me, but my rate of progress accelerated. I think it's best people just compete against themselves and be pleasently surprised by beneficial outcomes.

    Actually trying to respond to Rick. Quotes Jack. Phone messed up perhaps..
    Last edited by CSM25; 08-21-2018 at 07:45 AM.

  8. #18
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 RickTheRuler's Avatar
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    Ricky’s Ride to Baseline & Beyond

    Thanks guys. Appreciate it

    Really trying my best at work right now to buckle down. I’m going through the darkest periods of this thing thus far.

    Has me confused cause I thought the downswings over time become less severe?

    Tired of thinking.


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  9. #19
    A 1k Club Member Feedback Score 0 jacknap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CSM25 View Post
    Memory hazy, but I had to go thru the motions months and months with fast and refeed and then the "forcing myself to gym". Soon after I was addicted again. Initially, it was very challenging. I didn't so certain exercises like deadlifts which sucks because I've been in sports rehab since 2016. Strange cartilage issues. Near everything else increased dramatically including my chest exercises which were historically my weakest point (still far weaker than shoulders, all of back, legs, etc).

    Envisioning March From Jan or July from March was not really easy. Just kept getting better (cont to I hope). Good luck. You look strong man at Rick.

    I think 4 days was hard but 30-40+ days into randro it became 5 and higher (workouts).


    Also 0-20% took long. 40% also... 60-70 etc seemed more seamless. Time was less of a pressure. Higher level, I'm a bit less obsessed. At some point I learned new skills/job skills. And then a month or so of practice, I felt "back" fwiw.

    Initially I thought it would take years making it feel SO daunting. But it's not true.

    It felt like everyone was doing well but me, but my rate of progress accelerated. I think it's best people just compete against themselves and be pleasently surprised by beneficial outcomes.

    Actually trying to respond to Rick. Quotes Jack. Phone messed up perhaps..
    the last 30% is hardest for me. Seems very stubborn. Might be how i'm perceiving it. Eg) I say I'm 80% but really that 80% was only 60% so I keep moving the goal post because it's not near my baseline before I crashed.
    From rock bottom to rockstar, baby.

  10. #20
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    Me too at Jacknap. Sometimes higher, bad digestion or feeling sick (mostly not PFS, just being sensitive to things plus overtraining, not realizing how severe my asthma or other issues are until later (keep forgetting!)). But then the next morning or later at nite, totally fine again. Everyone's different and we can only get better based on our system, I guess. You guys are strong and don't need to worry too much, is all I'm trying to say. Despite a lot of trouble/difficulty, I may be lucky in that I never crashed since fasting. But I don't think it was "luck", rather discipline and "locking in gains" or as Tubzy says: "achieving snapback". I will say this... I do feel like almost throwing up everytime I brush my teeth, but it's nausea.... I had that after effexor for a couple years. Also, fasting all the time... taking medicine or some things on an empty stomach (as fast as I can, to get ready fast in the morning) kind of does it. But, I know that's not PFS.

    Obviously, you can tell, I am still obsessed with time and things... but like my bro and some older guys say: who cares what age you finish it (whatever it is, career, health).

    At 100-300 days I thought I was ruined. 400d better. 500d way way better. 575 near cured. So can only get better as long as I realize my true nature and stay on task. As in do not commit to things I cannot handle, i.e. overextend myself.
    Last edited by CSM25; 08-21-2018 at 01:23 PM.

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