Mac's Oneironmancer log

[Macdon1588]

Well it was another night of deep phenomenal sleep and dreams almost remembered. I'm not going to lie that I'm a little frustrated that I can't remember the dreams. On the other hand I know for sure that I'm dreaming. Before doing this log, I know for sure that I wasn't dreaming.
Cognitively I can say that there are some good things going on with my sense of well being. I am a whole lot less stressed from my work and life schedule which is nice. The effects are subtle but when I get a moment of downtime, I realize that my thoughts and my mood are in a better place and the only thing that can account for this, the only thing that has changed, is the fact that I'm taking this.

[testosteronet]

Interested in this well being that you speak of.

[Macdon1588]

Interested in this well being that you speak of.

Well I guess what I mean is that I just feel emotionally better. Im not as stressed and I feel little bit more at peace with certain things that are going on beyond my control.

[Macdon1588]

Another night of the restful sleep to report! I wish that I had the ability to recall dreams because I woke up in a really good mood. A good test is forthcoming because tomorrow I do my flip into my night shifts. I go into tomorrow night so I believe that I will take it tonight. And then tomorrow day.

[totalflexblog]

Keep a pen and pad by your bed to make notes on, and give yourself a few minutes when you wake up to think about your dreams. You may find that helps improve dream recall.

[Scope75]

I dream all the time but very rarely will I ever remember what it was about. Sucks to because I know I have very real dreams because I'll remember dreams from a day or 2 ago as if it really happened and I have to tell myself it must of been in a dream. Lol

[Macdon1588]

Sleep was again good. I can kind of sort of remember a dream about Hawaii. I was stationed there and there's a beach that I really liked on the island of Oahu and in the dream I'm there; nothing much more happens other than that. I think that maybe have been dreaming a lot about Hawaii recently because I've been thinking a lot more about it during the day. The beaches were always very peaceful to me as a very relaxing thing and I'm not sure if the dreams mean that I am at peace or that I need peace. It's strange because my life is very busy and there are a lot of stressors but still I feel pretty much at peace.

[Macdon1588]

I slept like a boss today. That's the first time it's happened in awhile. I remembered my dreams some what. I had a sequence of dreams where I had deeply frustrating conversations with my family. These figure. I am completely on my own and "self-orphaned" (my term) from my family. It was a hard decision to make, but one that had to be done for the sake of my kids. My uncles, aunt, and father are viscous drunks on their worst days, and verbally abusive on their best days. They are a sick, sad, codependent group without hardly a redeeming quality in the entire group. I'm more successful than the entire lot of them so when, in the past, I subjected myself to them, all they could do was try knock me down to their level.
I spent a lot of years drunk and broken because of my upbringing before I realized that I define myself. Furthermore, I realized I was the only one that could break the cycle so I that's exactly what I did. Life is better without them but still, I feel guilty because of how coldly surgical the cut was. Today's dreams made me realize that trying to deal with them again would be a fool's errand.
Tomorrow morning when I go to bed, I'm going to tell myself to dream of my future. I really want to start a business but I'm having a hard time finding my passion. I'm hoping that I can find it in my subconscious mind.

[h2s]

I really want to start a business but I'm having a hard time finding my passion. I'm hoping that I can find it in my subconscious mind.

Pretty cool, curious how it will go.

[Macdon1588]

I was really tired this morning when I went to bed. I don't remember my dreams, but the sleep was an amazing 8.5 hours which for night shift day sleeping is amazing.