I slept like a boss today. That's the first time it's happened in awhile. I remembered my dreams some what. I had a sequence of dreams where I had deeply frustrating conversations with my family. These figure. I am completely on my own and "self-orphaned" (my term) from my family. It was a hard decision to make, but one that had to be done for the sake of my kids. My uncles, aunt, and father are viscous drunks on their worst days, and verbally abusive on their best days. They are a sick, sad, codependent group without hardly a redeeming quality in the entire group. I'm more successful than the entire lot of them so when, in the past, I subjected myself to them, all they could do was try knock me down to their level.
I spent a lot of years drunk and broken because of my upbringing before I realized that I define myself. Furthermore, I realized I was the only one that could break the cycle so I that's exactly what I did. Life is better without them but still, I feel guilty because of how coldly surgical the cut was. Today's dreams made me realize that trying to deal with them again would be a fool's errand.
Tomorrow morning when I go to bed, I'm going to tell myself to dream of my future. I really want to start a business but I'm having a hard time finding my passion. I'm hoping that I can find it in my subconscious mind.