I'm A Fraud.....

[BoneDaddy]

fraud is a little harsh bro, we all have ups and downs. That's just life and sometimes things get away from you but you can allways take control back.

You need support, you have it here, you got a crew.... it may be an online one but that's all I got and I'm doing ok. I havn't had a drink in 14 months, you wanna talk about it I got the unlimited plan on my cell I'll pm you my number, we could talk for hours.

You can self destruct or live life like it's ment to be lived. Self destructing does feel good at times but living life lasts a whole lot longer. I highly reccomend living.

Thanks bro, I knew this is the place I could go to. Self destruction; over.

Bro, stop drinking now. You don't need alcohol, all it will do is make everything worse.

Maybe try some psychedelics if you really want to open up the hidden portions of what's ailing you.


But you can't just sit around drinking or all you will do is literally destroy your life. So forget it. Sorry about your friend, but think about how much he might look down on what you've become.

Good luck buddy

Funny you mention that.....I saw his wife a few weeks ago and she told me he'd probably kick my ass if he were here...lol It's funny, but damn it stung. Psychedelics, eh? I'm skeered.....:-)

XXIV said it pretty well in my book...... Sorry to hear that your going through some shit but I bet we all have, different areas but we have all been through hell one way or another.
Ive gone down the road your going down. It wasnt until a friend called me a puss for not facing life that I decided to do just that and face it. Its harder than drinking it away but man is it 10000x more rewarding.
Keep your head up, look for those small positives that happen everyday.

Thanks dude, and you're absolutely right. I've taken the easy road through all of this and I deserve the punishment that's about to follow. Head up and forward!

Much respect for sharing the stuff that is easier not to.

One thing you said resonated with me... the gym being the best therapy around. I understand this quite well. In fact, I had been away from the gym for 10 years while I was concentrating on business ventures.

When the economy and financing industry crashed, I lost close to a million bucks and was in a monthly financial bleed, owing thousands more than I was bringing in each month. I was stressed and depressed and just wanted to run away, because facing the reality of it was horrible.

And I finally went back to the gym about 4 years ago. Did it solve all my problems? No. Did I feel a little better with each workout? Absolutely. The endorphins I got at the gym helped the stress and depression. And it gave me something to ground me, stabilize me, for the first time in ages.

I share all this to say "you're not alone". Lots of us have had some pretty crappy things happen in life. I don't say that to take anything away from your situation, because it's serious. But it's not a life sentence. And you can work through this.

Damn, that's a lot to lose and go through! You're absolutely right about the gym though, even though I couldn't tell you what it looks like today since I haven't been in forever. HOWEVER, I got up early this morning and brought my gear to work. Going straight to the gym after work even if it's just cardio. SOMETHING is happening today, period.

Props on opening up man, you know were all here for you.
Your using alcohol to support you and make u feel better. You needa put your focus into something that will actually make u feel better and not just cover up the things your going though.
I know it's hard but it's just a mental barrier you needa break.
If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to hit me up.


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That's just it....at this point it's such a mental thing. To break out of this 'lifestyle' I've created and to start another one. Consistency will help with that, I've just gotta break through, ya know? Let's see......

Hey man if you need anyone to talk to PM me and I'll send you my number.

I know what your going threw because I've gone threw a bunch this year too.

Thanks Scope, I may just do that. Stay on my ass, contest entry is coming, I promise.

Depression and self loathing is horrible, I deal with it a lot. Alcohol has been an escape before, but luckily I've been able to deal with it before it got out of hand.

That being said, its time to move on. Shit happens, but you can't let everything hold you down. Busting your ass in the gym will be a huge help.

Alcohol + no gym = bad
No alcohol + gym = amazing

Word, Big Bird. It sucks indeed and it's soooo hard to escape from. I've always sucked at math, but I really like your formulas! lol

BoneD

¿Qué pasa hombre?

I agree with a lot of what Burly said but to be honest with you the gym keeps me super sane. Nothing else compares. So no it doesn't solve all your problems but helps to clear the mind. So get your 255 lb beer drinking ass back into the gym ASAP. And take this one step at a time brother. Don't get all crazy and try to start cooking meals and eating perfect. Just cut out the beer/booze, try to clean up the diet a bit, and hit the gym super hard. Once you find your groove you can start to nail down the diet. No excuses now man! You laid it all on the table so make it happen.

I LOLed at "So get your 255 lb beer drinking ass back into the gym ASAP" Not sure I was supposed to, but I did. :-) I think the part about not going crazy and trying to do everything all at once, the cooking, eating perfect and all is a great idea. Baby steps. No alcohol. Go workout. Start some supps ( at this point, what protocol though....*shrugs*).....and I think/hope the rest will just fall in. Routine, man.....I probably need routine. No excuses.

True man to open up and seek betterment instead of victimizing one-self, brother. you're no fraud. Rough patch, is all.

Do get away from alcohol though, seems to be unhealthy. And to disagree with weekend, don't substitute it with other substances. Stay healthy, clear and sound of mind so that you get a full picture of specific situation.

On more practical terms: Find a competition coach and do a NPC show. It's amazing what a goal in your sights can do to help you control things around you.

Thanks for the words, Lima. A competition coach and a NPC show? Are you out of your mind?!

So....how much is a competition coach? :-)

I woke up feeling pretty good about everything this morning. The post seems to be even more cathartic than I initially thought. 1 thing that's really going to stick out is I have gotten away from eating breakfast, but I know how important it is. This morning I did pop some ephedra and caffeine to stop the awful mid morning munching I've been doing. Baby steps. Thanks for the replies and post fellas, it really means a lot.

[xxiv]

Self destruction; over.

So whats the plan? diet? routine? lifestyle changes?

Set some goals.

When I got my feet back onto the ground I had a simple routine, kicked the usual culprits from my diet and the only goal was to stay at it for 3 months.

[BoneDaddy]

So whats the plan? diet? routine? lifestyle changes?

Set some goals.

When I got my feet back onto the ground I had a simple routine, kicked the usual culprits from my diet and the only goal was to stay at it for 3 months.

At this point, get to the gym 5 days a week, regardless of what it is....weights, cardio, or both. No booze. Make healthy eating choices. Keep occupied so I'm not tempted to drink some beers. Get more sleep. Quality, restful sleep. I made an appt for a physical just a bit ago, Jan 9th is the earliest I can get in. SO, I'm thinking of going the route we'd go if we were about to start a cycle, just go get bloods and see where I stand. It's only what....$50 or so? So for now....that's the plan. I'm considering hiring someone to map out the nutrition part for me. Some may see it as lazy, others may see it as a step in the right direction. I know Wesley does stuff like that as do a few others around on the boards. Beats spending $ on beer.......

[xxiv]

At this point, get to the gym 5 days a week, regardless of what it is....weights, cardio, or both. No booze. Make healthy eating choices. Keep occupied so I'm not tempted to drink some beers. Get more sleep. Quality, restful sleep. I made an appt for a physical just a bit ago, Jan 9th is the earliest I can get in. SO, I'm thinking of going the route we'd go if we were about to start a cycle, just go get bloods and see where I stand. It's only what....$50 or so? So for now....that's the plan. I'm considering hiring someone to map out the nutrition part for me. Some may see it as lazy, others may see it as a step in the right direction. I know Wesley does stuff like that as do a few others around on the boards. Beats spending $ on beer.......

Funny you should mention that.....I'm actually looking to employ some training and nutritional assistance myself, everyone could use some fresh prespective. Shoot wes a pm, i did.

For me, a few healthy life choices, some exercise, a littleless tv and internet and some good sleep made a huge difference in the quality of my life. Once you get some momentum you'll feel better, it's just the transition that may be a little rough.

I wish you the best of luck.

[burlyman30]

We're all here to support you as you pull yourself out of the ditch and back onto the road. We're expecting to hear back from you about how things went at the gym today, so now you've gotta go. Try not to make yourself so sore that you can't go back tomorrow. Lol.

[BoneDaddy]

We're all here to support you as you pull yourself out of the ditch and back onto the road. We're expecting to hear back from you about how things went at the gym today, so now you've gotta go. Try not to make yourself so sore that you can't go back tomorrow. Lol.

I'm there dude, it's going to happen! Thanks for the support!

[O_RYAN_007]

I was in the same destructive path as you were when I lost my brother 11 years ago. The engineering program I was in and the weights really helped pull me out of that dark place. As you said, get back to a routine and things will all fall into place. I'd say look for a really good personal trainer or coach to help push you harder than you've ever pushed yourself. This would be in a month or 2 after you get readjusted to the weights again.

The best of luck to you brother. Godspeed on your new journey, we'll all routing for you!

[longBallLima]

Glad you woke up feeling better, man! Pricing for coaches varies. For my first prep, I paid 1300 for a year of service, which is considered a pretty good deal in my Area. That included food, training, posing and backstage assistance.

If you wanna find someone local just go to a show in your area or talk to competitors at your gym and pick one that fits you your expectations. If you're going online, pm Wesley or even my coaches I can give you info over pm if you'd like

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Oh and not crazy I think most people who at least know what a gym is are no more than a year from the stage if they want to

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Oh and not crazy I think most people who at least know what a gym is are no more than a year from the stage if they want to

[BoneDaddy]

I was in the same destructive path as you were when I lost my brother 11 years ago. The engineering program I was in and the weights really helped pull me out of that dark place. As you said, get back to a routine and things will all fall into place. I'd say look for a really good personal trainer or coach to help push you harder than you've ever pushed yourself. This would be in a month or 2 after you get readjusted to the weights again.

The best of luck to you brother. Godspeed on your new journey, we'll all routing for you!

Sorry to hear about your brother man. I can't imagine losing mine, must've really been tough. The whole trainer/coach thing is really piquing my interest.......

Glad you woke up feeling better, man! Pricing for coaches varies. For my first prep, I paid 1300 for a year of service, which is considered a pretty good deal in my Area. That included food, training, posing and backstage assistance.

If you wanna find someone local just go to a show in your area or talk to competitors at your gym and pick one that fits you your expectations. If you're going online, pm Wesley or even my coaches I can give you info over pm if you'd like

- - - Updated - - -

Oh and not crazy I think most people who at least know what a gym is are no more than a year from the stage if they want to

Now I think you're crazy....lol A year away? Dude, if I could find someone to make me stage ready in a year, I'd hire them on the spot!

[longBallLima]

If you do the work I truly think most people can do it where do you live?