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  1. #41
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 Sperwer's Avatar
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    I'm A Fraud.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Jelisej View Post
    I think you are all on a wrong track- his problems most likely comes from "mental side" and that is where he needs to concetrate most, solving underlying issues and root of the problem, ignoring problem and concentrating on gym will make it easier but eventually he'll be in same situation again.
    Plus, his CNS is taking battering right now, heavy exercise will tax it even more and deplete his body of much needed chemicals (hormones etc...)
    He need to start slowly and make 5 year plan, "progressive loading" is the word.
    Agreed that the actions we've recommended don't go to the root of the problem, and all DELIBERATE speed is the watchword; but done mindfully they are palliatives that will relieve the symptoms and their consequences and open up a space for the other work
    Last edited by Sperwer; 10-23-2013 at 07:59 PM.
    "The purpose of today's training is to defeat yesterday's understanding."

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jelisej View Post
    I think you are all on a wrong track- his problems most likely comes from "mental side" and that is where he needs to concetrate most, solving underlying issues and root of the problem, ignoring problem and concentrating on gym will make it easier but eventually he'll be in same situation again.
    Plus, his CNS is taking battering right now, heavy exercise will tax it even more and deplete his body of much needed chemicals (hormones etc...)
    He need to start slowly and make 5 year plan, "progressive loading" is the word.
    The real strength of this forum is seen in this post right here, guys like jelisej have no problem posting against the common consensus of the forum and we as a community respectfully rebute..... And he's right, alot of the svice given to BD neglected the underlying mental issue that started his spiral.

    I've (like most of us here) have been in similar situations where ife has just gotten away from me and I think it's just ife and how it's supposed to be. As american men we are taught to knock back a few beers after a hard day of work and order a pizza and thats how you deal with your problems. Girls are taught to handle heartbreak with icecream. It is more socially acceptable to handle your problems with self destructive behavior than it is to flourish and work towards goals. The better I look and feel the more my peers resent me for not aging disgracefully like them. I have lost more "friends" living a healthy ilfestyle than I did living a counterproductive deathstyle.

    Bds issues may be deep mental or he could have just gotten caught up with what comes to us americans easily (just getting fat and lazy and having a few too many beers). The important thing is that he reccognizes and owns his mistakes and work towards making his life the one he wants and desreves. I would encourage him to seek any and all the help he has at his disposal. If he can talk to a mental health professional I think that would be great.

    again, it's threads like this that really show what a unique forum this is.
    The spirit that I have seen may be the devil: and the devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape; yea, and perhaps out of my weakness and my melancholy, as he is very potent with such spirits, abuses me to damn me.

  3. #43
    Established Member Feedback Score 1 (100%) Turbo6GN's Avatar
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    Ok, I guess it's my turn...

    I don't think there is any need to over complicate this or look too deep. Basically as I see it you simply exchanged one routine for another. You got out of the gym/decent diet/fitness goals routine and got onto the laying around/drinking pints routine. Choosing one over the other doesn't make you a bad person, we all get out of sorts from time to time. It's also worth pointing out that a bigger fella like yourself will be prone to putting on a few pounds, especially if you're smashing pints ED or EOD. As far as going on some spiritual quest or psychotherapy I think getting re-acquainted with yourself and the gym is all you need. There is nothing more addictive then the mirror, that's why we are all here. Seeing a body transform (albeit slowly) is it's own reward and will give you everything you need.

    As far as supplements go, I think something as simple as creatine can get you back on your feet. Getting back into the routine (there's that word again lol) of dosing daily and keeping a schedule is a huge motivation. You are paying for it, get it in ya and go hit the steel. Slowly start to adjust your diet and focus on injury prevention. You'll be fine, there is a ton of support and bright minds here.

  4. #44
    Super Moderator Feedback Score 0 burlyman30's Avatar
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    Re: I'm A Fraud.....

    Changing up things a bit here...

    BD, how was your day?
    All advice given is for entertainment value only. And it's free. Take it for what it's worth.

  5. #45
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 BoneDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burlyman30 View Post
    Changing up things a bit here...

    BD, how was your day?
    Busy as hell! Good stuff in here and I'd like to address it but it'll have to come later. Success last night, no booze. I'm busting with pride oddly enough. lol I'm feeling good about everything and feel like this go around will have positive traction. I'll hit back after work with an in depth update and thoughts. Thanks for the contributions everyone!

  6. #46
    A 1k Club Member Feedback Score 0 Jelisej's Avatar
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    BoneDaddy, you're a great guy and you're probably only person on this forum that does not see that.
    Now, after I gave you a compliment I can go back to my usual-self:
    Bro' your plan of getting in shape is shit. On top of completely ignoring "mental side" (which is main cause IMO), you're forgeting the fact that at 250lb if you try to be Rocky Balboa you'll end up with ruined joints, your plan needs to be long term as your recomp will take at least 5 years- and for starters:
    when was the last time you went for a long, long walk? And beleive me, long walking is very beneficial for you- and when I say walk I dont mean that shit machine in gym where you just lift your legs, I'm talking about "street life" walk where you have to lift your whole body, and where actually things are happening around you...

    Instead of beer just hold a water in your hand, watch some tv show that will keep you interested and relax (walking dead, game of thrones, lost, prison break, whatever)

    Instead of trying to find reason why to feel unhappy about yourself, try to find good things about yourself. You lost one friend, but do you need to lose another fifty by closing your doors? If you feel guilt about something if you really feel need to redemption there are many things you can do for others and for humanity.
    Bro' beleive it or not, you are needed in this world- if anything at least once you recover you can help other to find their way help others.
    If you open your eyes, you'll see that many people would benefit from your help....
    And, just to remind you that we are here for you, just as you will be for others....

    So, bro'- I want to hear some concrete plans...Because
    Tonight it all starts.

  7. #47
    Established Member Feedback Score 1 (100%) Grape Ape's Avatar
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    If the drinking is really a problem there's a ton of inspiration in the rooms. A.A. in general has changed many lives, and though I haven't been back.to one in a while myself, the time I spent in meetings helped shape the 1.5 years I now have alcohol free. Not an easy task at 23, or something I could have fully done on my own.

  8. #48
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    Just saw this thread and I will jump in and say: get off the sauce. if you don't think you can do it on your own, then get help, either in the form of AA or professional counselling. I was spiralling down into the morass of alcohol and the crazy thing is, I knew it was bad but I didn't see HOW bad it was until I could look at it in retrospect. now I can see that it was insane. I wasted untold amounts of time and money, and got sidetracked from my goals. I've been sober a few years now and I can honestly say that my life is a TON better. there is the odd time I miss beers with the fellas but if I have a drop I want a gallon so better to leave it alone.

    At least you have the sense to recognize the problem. that is the first step. now take action. you're welcome to message me and I can give you my email and Skype if you want. I know it can feel like the loneliest place in the world, being depressed, but it doesn't have to be.

  9. #49
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    To add to what jelisej said about taking it easy: it works for a lot of people. in AA there is a saying, "Easy does it,, but do it." I always preferred to go all-in. when I came off the booze and strength was way down, I responded by smashing myself in the gym. and in the ensuing weeks when the depression and anxiety initially got worse, I went hard in the gym. really helped me. but you may be different. gauge your body and how you respond

  10. #50
    A 1k Club Member Feedback Score 1 (100%) weekend's Avatar
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    I also prefer going all in as well.

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