I'm A Fraud.....

[nate3993]

I also prefer going all in as well.

Even.......balls deep?

[xxiv]

Even.......balls deep?

i like to tell them I'll only go 1/2 way in and if you don't like it we can stop and snuggle.

[VayneZ]

BoneD, I can't believe I've missed this. But I read the replies of everyone and I feel ya man. I had a problem with hard drugs. So it's different but pretty much the same as well you can say. In my Avi pic, I was actually breaking free from my addiction. 2 Things that helped me personally was really digging deep through the bible (which I had never ever done in my life, and had no idea what it was all about) and the fact that throughout my addiction I kept working out, and kept eating.

I personally have never been addicted to alcohol (had my binge days, but never really an addiction), but with hard drugs you just don't want to eat anything nor want to DO anything really. It's that deep mental voice inside my head that always screamed at me to COOK SOMETHING! EAT! go JOG! go to the GYM! I remember I would go jogging on the beach (I was living in South Beach) with my dog, at noon if I had to, all drugged up. Had my Ipod and listened to crazy adrenaline death metal and would just kill myself out there. It's funny but, it was usually the moments I was most drugged up that I would just get this sick urge to just go out and chase some adrenaline, some rush! Sweat the sickness out!!!! So throughout my addiction I was already fighting, physically/mentally, my training and what I ate.

I know I'm a week late, so I'll assume the rest of the crew already lifted you up and based on your replies I see you're doing very well. Looking forward to see you in the competition section! Hey, Even Weekend's competing and he already has a perfect physique! So you would really benefit by entering as soon as you can.

And remember what I said, as a ''just in case'' things get ugly again. Never stop eating clean and good, never stop kicking your endorphins to work and feeling the pump! Put a timer if you have to and just eat something you prepare once or twice a week (stored in the fridge) every 2 or 3 hours. Be like a soldier. Let go of your feelings... use your mind!! Like Jelisej said ''just get back up''.

SS crew has your back! (even late VayneZ)

[h2s]

Disclaimer: I didn't read the entire thread

We have all been there. I am currently there.

I have had a rollercoaster of a life over the past 6 months. In that time I broke up with a girlfriend of 6 years, moved twice, gained new friends, lost track of others, started to party a bit too hard and transitioned to going out less than I should (finally balanced this). While all of this was going on, work (for reasons beyond my control) has spun out of control and working all day to come home and work all night is not uncommon. Last weekend I worked until 4am on sunday to report in at 8 am the next day. During this time, my diet has wavered from awesome to shit, to awesome to shit. Workouts rarely happen, and when they do the energy isn't there. Slowly I stopped going. Towards the begining of the transition, I was on cycle, I literally came off because I realized I was on and wasn't making it to the gym. My physique has gone from 200+lbs with abs, to under 200 with only shallow outlines. People still reference me as muscular, but knowing what I was, I don't internally accept the compliment. I slipped off the face of many forums, and even struggled to keep up with somethings for this one. Fucking sucks.

But it is all an excuse. Life is still crazy. Work is still crazy. Women are still everywhere and desperately want me to spend all my time with them (ok, thats what I tell myself, haha). It is still easier to order take out instead of cook. It is still easier to get more work done instead of lift. None of this changed. None of it will. The only thing that can change is my motivation, and finally it is coming back. I want to return to where I was. I want to. So its on me now. I am back to lifting. I added in some cardio. My meals are tightening up a bit, and I am about to go on a winter bulk. Life is busy and full of things that will bring you down at times, this won't change, but what you do with it can.

Good luck on your return, you are not a fraud, you are human.

[KAB111]

Best part of all of this...... You are human..... Well said H2S

Disclaimer: I didn't read the entire thread

We have all been there. I am currently there.

I have had a rollercoaster of a life over the past 6 months. In that time I broke up with a girlfriend of 6 years, moved twice, gained new friends, lost track of others, started to party a bit too hard and transitioned to going out less than I should (finally balanced this). While all of this was going on, work (for reasons beyond my control) has spun out of control and working all day to come home and work all night is not uncommon. Last weekend I worked until 4am on sunday to report in at 8 am the next day. During this time, my diet has wavered from awesome to shit, to awesome to shit. Workouts rarely happen, and when they do the energy isn't there. Slowly I stopped going. Towards the begining of the transition, I was on cycle, I literally came off because I realized I was on and wasn't making it to the gym. My physique has gone from 200+lbs with abs, to under 200 with only shallow outlines. People still reference me as muscular, but knowing what I was, I don't internally accept the compliment. I slipped off the face of many forums, and even struggled to keep up with somethings for this one. Fucking sucks.

But it is all an excuse. Life is still crazy. Work is still crazy. Women are still everywhere and desperately want me to spend all my time with them (ok, thats what I tell myself, haha). It is still easier to order take out instead of cook. It is still easier to get more work done instead of lift. None of this changed. None of it will. The only thing that can change is my motivation, and finally it is coming back. I want to return to where I was. I want to. So its on me now. I am back to lifting. I added in some cardio. My meals are tightening up a bit, and I am about to go on a winter bulk. Life is busy and full of things that will bring you down at times, this won't change, but what you do with it can.

Good luck on your return, you are not a fraud, you are human.

[booklifter]

Yo BD, what up? It's been a couple weeks - how's work/gym/scale/self-actualization?

Take it from someone all too familiar with downward spirals - every downward spiral is an upward spiral when you're moving in the other direction (even just a little at first). If you miss a step, just get back up and keep moving steadily in the right direction.
spiral-staircase-225x300.jpg

[BoneDaddy]

Sorry I've been absent from the board fellas. I've had the dreaded flu and haven't really been doing shit all. Back at work today, just a minor set back. Thanks for the kind words and some of the PMs I've gotten. This board is hands down the best ever.

[burlyman30]

Welcome back.

[VayneZ]

typical of life. You start off with a goal and things like 'flu' happens. How are you feeling today though? Did you manage to eat right and workout through the flu?

[BoneDaddy]

typical of life. You start off with a goal and things like 'flu' happens. How are you feeling today though? Did you manage to eat right and workout through the flu?

Ppfftt....eating and working out were not even in the realm of possibility. The only time I left the bed was to crawl to the bathroom to pray to the porcelain god. The gym won't happen today but I've managed to at least clean today, what little bit I've eaten.