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  1. #71
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    Man, I am so fucked up right now. Dick looks completely dead at this point. Giant ass veins, shrunken shaft, even more shrunken head, hangs loose with no elasticity. I was lying in bed a few months ago and noticed the head gets bigger if I clench certain muscles like doing a kegal, and then goes back to looking shrunken and dead when I let go. I lost hardness whilst inside my girlfriend last night and neither of us could get it going again even though I was on viagra. Can't even get hard off the bathmate anymore, blood just drains out of me. It seems to shrink at the very touch of warm water and get bigger when it's cold. What the hell is that? Venous leakage?
    I think it's beyond chemical now. Protocol raised my testosterone, fixed my voice, gave me my confidence back, everything it was supposed to do, but something is just physically broken down there. Tissues lost, veins to big to shut. It still gets worse even though everything else got better.
    When I crashed I was jerking off almost daily, drinking all the time, smoked weed every day of the week and still taking that poison for 3 years. I've never read any recovery where someone has abused their own body as badly as I have.
    I hate posting this negative shit but I'm circling the plughole at this point.

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by zardoz View Post
    Man, I am so fucked up right now. Dick looks completely dead at this point. Giant ass veins, shrunken shaft, even more shrunken head, hangs loose with no elasticity. I was lying in bed a few months ago and noticed the head gets bigger if I clench certain muscles like doing a kegal, and then goes back to looking shrunken and dead when I let go. I lost hardness whilst inside my girlfriend last night and neither of us could get it going again even though I was on viagra. Can't even get hard off the bathmate anymore, blood just drains out of me. It seems to shrink at the very touch of warm water and get bigger when it's cold. What the hell is that? Venous leakage?
    I think it's beyond chemical now. Protocol raised my testosterone, fixed my voice, gave me my confidence back, everything it was supposed to do, but something is just physically broken down there. Tissues lost, veins to big to shut. It still gets worse even though everything else got better.
    When I crashed I was jerking off almost daily, drinking all the time, smoked weed every day of the week and still taking that poison for 3 years. I've never read any recovery where someone has abused their own body as badly as I have.
    I hate posting this negative shit but I'm circling the plughole at this point.
    I've only started the protocol recently, so I can't speak from experience of the protocol per se, but for years before I was in the same boat, worrying that some permanent structural damage had been done - spider veins, fibrous texture, erections never totally solid and the glans never inflated, even when I'd dosed myself to the gills on PDE5 inhibitors, which I was becoming less and less responsive to. I thought that the years I'd gone without nocturnal erections must've caused some sort of permanent tissue damage or a venous leak (a term I've seen bandied around a lot, but never actually explained or demonstrated, and which seems to a theoretical vaguery). I didn't see how, even if I could fix my hormonal profile, my unit would ever return to normal.

    Then, last summer, I had a spontaneous partial remission that lasted for around a week (probably the result of a lot more sun exposure and exercise than usual, coupled with a nearly-perfect diet). My erections were harder than I could ever remember them having been, with the glans fully inflated, which hadn't happened in years. Too bad I crashed myself a week later through an absolutely brutal weekend of binge-drinking. I haven't had any upswings to the same extent since, but all the same, it proved to me that the tissue wasn't irreparably damaged. Furthermore, a little reading around (not that I recommend it, as reading too many studies tends to get me thinking in the wrong patterns, and back to the toxic mentality of PH) reveals cases (non PFS-related) where erectile dysfunction caused by so-called "venous leakage" was resolved with androgen treatment or the correct dopaminergic stimulation. So I'd say unless you've actually suffered any extreme physical trauma to your member, it's unlikely that any irreparable damage has been done. Hang in there, man.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marquis View Post
    I've only started the protocol recently, so I can't speak from experience of the protocol per se, but for years before I was in the same boat, worrying that some permanent structural damage had been done - spider veins, fibrous texture, erections never totally solid and the glans never inflated, even when I'd dosed myself to the gills on PDE5 inhibitors, which I was becoming less and less responsive to. I thought that the years I'd gone without nocturnal erections must've caused some sort of permanent tissue damage or a venous leak (a term I've seen bandied around a lot, but never actually explained or demonstrated, and which seems to a theoretical vaguery). I didn't see how, even if I could fix my hormonal profile, my unit would ever return to normal.

    Then, last summer, I had a spontaneous partial remission that lasted for around a week (probably the result of a lot more sun exposure and exercise than usual, coupled with a nearly-perfect diet). My erections were harder than I could ever remember them having been, with the glans fully inflated, which hadn't happened in years. Too bad I crashed myself a week later through an absolutely brutal weekend of binge-drinking. I haven't had any upswings to the same extent since, but all the same, it proved to me that the tissue wasn't irreparably damaged. Furthermore, a little reading around (not that I recommend it, as reading too many studies tends to get me thinking in the wrong patterns, and back to the toxic mentality of PH) reveals cases (non PFS-related) where erectile dysfunction caused by so-called "venous leakage" was resolved with androgen treatment or the correct dopaminergic stimulation. So I'd say unless you've actually suffered any extreme physical trauma to your member, it's unlikely that any irreparable damage has been done. Hang in there, man.
    Man, you've no idea how much I needed this today. Thank you.

  4. #74
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 RickTheRuler's Avatar
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    Ready for the battle! Advice appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by zardoz View Post
    Man, I am so fucked up right now. Dick looks completely dead at this point. Giant ass veins, shrunken shaft, even more shrunken head, hangs loose with no elasticity. I was lying in bed a few months ago and noticed the head gets bigger if I clench certain muscles like doing a kegal, and then goes back to looking shrunken and dead when I let go. I lost hardness whilst inside my girlfriend last night and neither of us could get it going again even though I was on viagra. Can't even get hard off the bathmate anymore, blood just drains out of me. It seems to shrink at the very touch of warm water and get bigger when it's cold. What the hell is that? Venous leakage?
    I think it's beyond chemical now. Protocol raised my testosterone, fixed my voice, gave me my confidence back, everything it was supposed to do, but something is just physically broken down there. Tissues lost, veins to big to shut. It still gets worse even though everything else got better.
    When I crashed I was jerking off almost daily, drinking all the time, smoked weed every day of the week and still taking that poison for 3 years. I've never read any recovery where someone has abused their own body as badly as I have.
    I hate posting this negative shit but I'm circling the plughole at this point.
    I still have this issue with my head slightly.. I get nocturnals if I make it to REM sleep by getting at least 7-8 hrs in. (Also when I dream) erectile quality 7/10... etc. have failed sexually before but not in the girl like you stated. . .

    But, you said your testosterone, confidence, voice are all back.. I’m guessing your mental symptoms aren’t devastating? Be grateful for that dude, there was a point where ALL I wanted was some mental peace & could give less of a fuck about my dick. I was surviving, you could see it in the tone of my early posts, how erratic they were... . I understand your frustration but patience, persistence, and gratitude are key my man. If you did have severe mental symptoms,remember that.

    If you gotta use PDE5’s then use them... really no big deal there.. you just gotta ride things out. Your doing all you gotta do.
    Last edited by RickTheRuler; 05-12-2019 at 09:04 AM.

  5. #75
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zardoz View Post
    Man, I am so fucked up right now. Dick looks completely dead at this point. Giant ass veins, shrunken shaft, even more shrunken head, hangs loose with no elasticity. I was lying in bed a few months ago and noticed the head gets bigger if I clench certain muscles like doing a kegal, and then goes back to looking shrunken and dead when I let go. I lost hardness whilst inside my girlfriend last night and neither of us could get it going again even though I was on viagra. Can't even get hard off the bathmate anymore, blood just drains out of me. It seems to shrink at the very touch of warm water and get bigger when it's cold. What the hell is that? Venous leakage?
    I think it's beyond chemical now. Protocol raised my testosterone, fixed my voice, gave me my confidence back, everything it was supposed to do, but something is just physically broken down there. Tissues lost, veins to big to shut. It still gets worse even though everything else got better.
    When I crashed I was jerking off almost daily, drinking all the time, smoked weed every day of the week and still taking that poison for 3 years. I've never read any recovery where someone has abused their own body as badly as I have.
    I hate posting this negative shit but I'm circling the plughole at this point.
    Dude....just weed and beer? Listen, not to get into dick measuring here, but I've done WAY more then just weed and beer. I was the king of abusing myself. So when you're saying you've never read a recovery where someone has abused their own body as badly as you have, look no further. You have read it....it was mine. I was using hard drugs and drinking and took fin for four years. You have NOTHING to worry about.

    Keep pushing forward. You need to settle your mind. Do some more breathing, meditation, exercise. You're not circling the plughole, you're on the precipice of a break through. It's always darkest before the dawn......truth.

    Keep going.
    Last edited by Cdsnuts; 05-12-2019 at 11:52 AM.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  6. #76
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    And concerning the bathmate....it uses physical forces that work regardless of what's going in your head. It's simple physics....it can't not work. Maybe you need to revisit the proper way to use it.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  7. #77
    SwoleSource Member Feedback Score 0
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    Quote Originally Posted by RickTheRuler View Post
    I still have this issue with my head slightly.. I get nocturnals if I make it to REM sleep by getting at least 7-8 hrs in. (Also when I dream) erectile quality 7/10... etc. have failed sexually before but not in the girl like you stated. . .

    But, you said your testosterone, confidence, voice are all back.. I’m guessing your mental symptoms aren’t devastating? Be grateful for that dude, there was a point where ALL I wanted was some mental peace & could give less of a fuck about my dick. I was surviving, you could see it in the tone of my early posts, how erratic they were... . I understand your frustration but patience, persistence, and gratitude are key my man. If you did have severe mental symptoms,remember that.

    If you gotta use PDE5’s then use them... really no big deal there.. you just gotta ride things out. Your doing all you gotta do.
    Mental sides got a lot better when sleep started to come more naturally. It's crazy what an anxiety ridden mess I used to be. I agree with you, and I'm incredibly grateful for how far I've come and how much I've learned about myself and being a man. I just wish my fucking dick would work properly. PDE5s don't work with me, if they did I'd probably be a lot more chill about the whole situation.

    Anyway, thanks for the support, man. I appreciate it.

  8. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdsnuts View Post
    Dude....just weed and beer? Listen, not to get into dick measuring here, but I've done WAY more then just weed and beer. I was the king of abusing myself. So when you're saying you've never read a recovery where someone has abused their own body as badly as you have, look no further. You have read it....it was mine. I was using hard drugs and drinking and took fin for four years. You have NOTHING to worry about.

    Keep pushing forward. You need to settle your mind. Do some more breathing, meditation, exercise. You're not circling the plughole, you're on the precipice of a break through. It's always darkest before the dawn......truth.

    Keep going.
    Thanks, man. I know weed and beer sounds trivial, but it was a sustained lifestyle of just being drunk, high and full of 5ar inhibitors whilst jerking off all the time. It was like I was intentionally trying to crash. Makes me cringe thinking back. I'll step up my meditation, sometimes I neglect it sometimes as cold showers are so effective at calming me down on there own. With regards to the bathmate, my wang gets bigger with it on and then immediately drops to flacid with it off. Blood goes in blood goes out. Fuck it. I'm done complaining. Thanks for the support, mate.

  9. #79
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    Banged my girlfriend multiple times this week and busted ever increasing volumes of nut all over her. Call it an upswing, but damn I haven't felt this good for a while.
    Thanks for sticking with me when I was a mess a few months ago guys.

    Z

  10. #80
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zardoz View Post
    Banged my girlfriend multiple times this week and busted ever increasing volumes of nut all over her. Call it an upswing, but damn I haven't felt this good for a while.
    Thanks for sticking with me when I was a mess a few months ago guys.

    Z
    That's what we're here for brother.

    Congrats on your improvements thus far.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

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