Quote Originally Posted by JoeP26 View Post
You're thinking way too much in the moment and panicking that what you're feeling is indefinite. It's not, if you're doing the right things. I can already tell you that TRT isn't going to fix it. Already been down that road myself. Nor is drinking and smoking psychedelics.

Let me explain why you feel like you're on a constant drug high that won't end. All mammals in the animal kingdom are built with survival instincts. We know this. When a mammal is attacked or feels it's in danger, it's brain responds by sending fight or flight hormones (epinephrine, norepinephrine, cortisol, and other stress hormones) to the brain causing the heart to palpitate, the eyes to dilate, the body begins to tremor, and panic so that fleeing becomes easier. This is the part is not widely known; While in this state, if the animal is caught by a predator and experiences physical and mental trauma, the brain severs it's connection to the entire world and its nervous system to disassociate itself, thus lessening the pain of it all.

All of us in the beginning stages of PFS go through this very thing. First, we experience our first crash and panic like hell, causing it to be worse. It's understandable. Because of the slow progression of recovery, we continue to panic ourselves to death not knowing what's wrong or how to fix it, eventually leading to the disassociation I mentioned above. That's a lot of the "drug high" you're experiencing because of all of the panic that has put your brain into disassociation mode. On top of that, your hindering your recovery because you want instant relief, which is understandable, and trying to numb your pain with toxic foreign substances. But that's not how this works. You need to accept that and, instead, put your strong desire to better into doing what you need to be doing. If not, then yes. This will be forever for you.
This isn't going to be forever, I will make sure of that one way or another, I will find a way out.

I don't feel panic rather dread at this time, I'm too numb to feel panic. it's like I'm looking at life through a window, enclosed within my mind, rather than high I should say, very difficult to describe. My mind state is content, peaceful, super clear, no brain fog, can think clearly without any obstructions or with little emotions connected with the thoughts and feels like I'm acting when having a converstion with people. I'd rather have a bit of brain fog and have the ability to shift moods and mind states like a human rather than operate like an android.

Though last few days have been better in the sense of caring about what is going on around me and being able to react angry at some things.

I understand what your saying about trauma and severed connection through dissociation, which is what happened when I first ever crashed from a psyche drug, and then made myself feel worst by having panic attacks I was far worst mentally back then but I never experienced complete shutdown like this even though I was in a frenzy

Right now all systems have shut down, I don't feel any adrenaline, no stress cortisol, just calm dissociation nothing trigged it that was traumatic, only after stopping androgelz did I slowly begin to notice things were not working downstairs as well as previously which is when the overthinking and excessive worry did set in. In fact I was feeling very close to full recovering

I'm thinking shutdown or low estro and that can usually only be reversed through TRT or some other shit like clomid. I really dont want to go down that road of putting more synthetics but living like a ghost in the land of the living i can't and will not accept.

Strangely enough I still getting regular noctornal erections and morning erections, but can't really feel any excitement in my head or body when they happen and feel disconnected from them, it's so robotic. Every night experiencing vivid sexual dreams but yet feel no libido

I'm not in my 20s anymore and don't know if my body can bounce back on it's own again if my testosterone is completely tanked, this is why I would consider TRT but that's only after I exhausted all options and tests confirm it's extremely low

Right now I am back to the protocol cycling herbs for PCT, eating healthy, sauna, meditating and trying to stay positively by working hard to remain calm and in the present and working out muscles any free time I have along with running hard, cold showers just so I can reconnect with bodily sensations. I've been sleeping better and all my bloods should arrive on tuesday and hopefully that can give an inkling, faint idea on what's going on

Thanks for all your support and encouragement guys, I can't tell you how much it helps to have people talk to about this that have an understanding of what's going on, though we know we each individually have the responsibility to pull ourselves out of the hole.