What’s going on. I know I’m killing you guys with starting new threads, like a neurotic motherfucker. there’s just a lot of stuff to take in.l hopefully you guys can answer 1,2, & 3 for me

1. Things outside protocol: I really don’t want to add a ton of things outside of this. But anything extra for the stomach? I’m hearing about L Glutamine, probiotics..just to keep things optimal..I don’t want anything crazy, just a little something.
- I’m also interested in that testicle painting people do, don’t really know if it’s effective, don’t really care, I just want to paint my balls even if does not work lol. seems satisfying, trying to hit this thing in all angles..

2. I ordered 3 more test herbs from TMO that were initially sold out or discontinued through another source. so It’ll be a total of 24.. Stick to rotating 21?
-What’s the deal with pine pollen daily? Is this necessary for recovery? I’m just rotating the 21 as outlined. I take nothing daily besides the Vit D, green multivitamins, brain & sleep herbs..

3. Feel like my sides are unique to me: if I’m feeling good these uncomfortable thoughts creep up sometimes..
reminder:
Took Fin March 10-15
Crashed March 24
Hell from March 24-30
Unsupervised Water Fast April 1-20 (worked and and layed in bed only)
Re feeded slowly for the next 5-6 days
Jumped on it the last few days of April..

I acted pretty quickly on this, but still concerned slightly despite being on point...

-I did lose a ton of weight from water fasting, to the naked eye I look kind of lean and fit, I’m getting stronger each session but my muscles are so soft, if I jump i feel it jiggle, & this is at 172 lbs mind you.

-No pumps in the gym ever despite getting stronger slowly s (I don’t carb backload, if that’s a factor in this, straight paleo)

-Body hair thinning

- Sexual: at first my dick was dead, shriveled up, cold, & did not get hard at all anytime from late March to late April. The nothingness and numbness was so profound.. I felt like a 100 year old...
-Today I just get noctornuals, thats it.. I wake up with one, but as far as randoms during the day go. Nope. Rarely.
-when I started taking herbs/doing bathmate I did notice a little bit more fullness in the genitals when flaccid, i could feel the penis’ presence despite having no libido or randoms.. sometimes I’ll check out a nice ass & I feel a veryyy slight tingle but nothing happens..
-even when hard it does feel kind of rubbery & not 100%., but I get em.. I dream too, last night I had a sexual dream that turned into a nightmare, I got caught fucking a girl at my job (at work) & I got caught & fired.. I’m not so excited about this, I choose to be even keel, it can turn on me any day..
-Mentally I still check girls out & fantasize even when I’m not feeling it. Just a mental thing I do that I feel is necessary.

-Penis Shape: I do have a slight curve, & rotation on axis..
- when I get Hard, Even with the Bathmate, the head of my penis seems to stay the same, it does not engorge. It freaks me out very temporarily, I don’t even look at my dick anymore these days.

3. Occasional Bad thought processes: from reading horror stories when I was at my worst, I keep thinking that cause of my sides & more importantly since I’m 22 I’m in a different class than everyone recovery wise... Every time I remember seeing a late teen early 20s guy fuck with this in the horror days , they are the ones who deal with it for 8,9,10, 11, 12 years...I’m thinking that at 22 I could potentially still be “growing” & this fucked with it permanently.. it’s the fact that I see no early 20s guy come out of this... these thoughts creep in sometimes, I’m generally in a decent to neutral mood. Always driven though..

I’m doing everything, I don’t even hang with friends cause doing all this takes up my day. My entire life is pure productivity, I don’t “Kill time”.. Between working, school, lifting, HIIT, shopping for food, cooking, meditating, cold showers 2x a day, breathing exercises, bathmate in warm tub I barely have time. It helps with sleeping easier..

It’s crazy how I can be this commited, going go hard in the gym, not even masturbating Once, & still have these doubtful negative thoughts about my sides..
- When I mediatate & do breath work I let these thoughts creep in and stay, it does leave me relaxed after, but then it comes back the next day..the questioning and doubt is by far my biggest hurdle in this... it’s not the discipline.... it’s the mental part that older guys like English, Niles, & CD are very good at. I know it’s the beginning for me but this shit has to go.

Off to sprint & fight this bitch..