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  1. #11
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SS7 View Post
    The man himself - thanks very much Cdsnuts for the site, resources and everything you do. This sure is a battle, but I'm on it.
    You're in more then capable hands here. We have a great, dedicated bunch. Join them. You know what you have to do, so just do it. Character building on steroids is one way to look at it.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdsnuts View Post
    You're in more then capable hands here. We have a great, dedicated bunch. Join them. You know what you have to do, so just do it. Character building on steroids is one way to look at it.
    Thanks for all that sir - don't you worry, I'm living this protocol. I'll be another one of your success stories in two months or twenty years, you just watch me. I'll get better or I'll be the only 90-year-old still on the protocol!

    Happy to say I've graduated to fully cold showers! I have to say (sorry for the TMI) my testicles RUSH up into me now they know they're in for a chilling. And MY GOODNESS in the middle of the UK winter this is a real trial, probably the hardest bit of the protocol... but would I rather have PFS? HELL FUCKING NO - turn that cold tap RIGHT ON lads!!

    Week 3 of my first Andro cycle continues tomorrow, bumped up to 400mg yesterday, I seem to be tolerating it ok. The horrible, tingly cortisol rush panics though now *seem* like there's *something* in the way of them, which kind of pinches them off before they flood over me. They're still there, waiting, trying to *get me* but they sorta don't quite succeed. The head pressure feelings are still there and it's like they *want* to attack again, but can't quite *get me* fully - If ANYONE understands what I'm trying to communicate in that badly-described paragraph there let me know? It feels like a good sign. Work was just a little easier last week, only a touch but definitely.

    Erections might have improved slightly, maybe not but I'm not actually really worried - as in, genuinely not. Might be the Andro-apathy but might be me dealing with it. Nocturnal wood still there, I'm edging again (just right off sex now having broken up with a woman I really do love and who really did love me back. And who just might be the best girl in the whole world, but who I'm not subjecting to a life of her coming second to this process. That was also tough, but then again not really; she deserves better and I deserve to give this my all. If the universe allows and she's still available when I'm better, then we'll be happy for the rest of our lives. She's also a large part of what gets me into the ice water and out running.) That is what that is anyway. Where was I? Edging? Yes that's going ok and maybe erections are a bit better - take a bit of manual stimulation to get them going but they don't seem to 'drop off' quite as quickly like they did earlier.

    Nocturnals are there, but weak. No morning wood still, not since my fast in fact (first weak one was when I woke up the day after that.) Their return about 3 weeks back was a very welcome sign, needless to say. Edging I'm stuck with for a week after an enthusiastic pumping session left me with a bruise on the bottom of my penis (oops, be gentle with the pumping people!)

    If there's a technique beyond the manuals for using the Hydromax then I definitely haven't got it; I find it an unnecessarily complex and awkward piece of equipment at the best of times. It seals badly by design seemingly, and I struggle frustratingly with it more than I 'succeed' with it. Needs must of course.

    If anyone's reading this years later and follopwing what I'm doing there are still DEFINITE ups and downs on-cycle, but the downs aren't as bad as the first couple of months, not by a noticeable way, The ups are actually quite ok. I enjoy music on occasion now, I can watch a movie without being consumed by PFS, I can hold a conversation, TELL A JOKE AND LAUGH, and cry/feel some positivity again rather than being entirely blunted.

    These are of course good signs, and you read of them consistently in recovery stories, but until you're "there" with PFS you couldn't really understand it from someone's internet description of the deep deep horror, and likewise the Andro-recoveries (which is what I assume I'm in the process of) I don't think you can rightly understand what it is to feel the symptoms start to lose their ground on you, and to win a little bit - I mean, how many times did I "reality check" or "ground" myself before PFS and think "OK, this is how I feel about sex, this is how I feel about enjoying things, I can get back to this reference point of a moment and remember how I was"? Never - because you were just "normal" and that's how you'd always been and how you were always going to be, right? Until you took Finasteride, and the bottom fell out of your personality and life.

    Anyway, enough "dear diary" but these musings might be useful. Helps me a bit to journal it all too.

    Gym is going ok, 5 days/week still with the focus on heavy compounds and progressive overload - all other objectives can go hang until I'm better. HIIT I'm just keeping up 3/week; I'm shifting between mornings and evenings, and just getting it done when I can; life's a little hectic so as long as it actually gets done I don't mind. I'm still convinced a 30/40 min steady state run is good for 5AR, so I get one of those in too.

    Sleep is MUCH better! Goodness me, what a turnaround! I'll attribute that to either the sorghum flour and jujuba pre-bed shakes or the potassium. It's one or more of the three for sure. Last three days that's been a good 7-9 hours. MUCH-needed recovery time. Libido has now been either not there or just the odd little flicker of it, but I don't know. If that's late to return I can handle it, from what I gather it's usually back VERY late into things.

    Last of all, had a review of the herbs, bought up a few more quality ones for the return to the rotation but it's mostly all there waiting for me to finish the Andro run. Current issues to work on are routine for HIIT, getting enough calories in with the paleo and 50g/carbs/day pre-backoading.

    I'm keeping on going!

  3. #13
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    If you're having issues with the pump sealing, you need to shave down your pubes a little more. When trimmed properly you should have no trouble getting a seal. What about it do you find difficult? Anything different is awkward at first, but with practice things turn around. I really don't think it's "complex" at all. It's a simple tube?
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdsnuts View Post
    If you're having issues with the pump sealing, you need to shave down your pubes a little more. When trimmed properly you should have no trouble getting a seal. What about it do you find difficult? Anything different is awkward at first, but with practice things turn around. I really don't think it's "complex" at all. It's a simple tube?
    I think as you say it's going to end up being that way and I eventually get the process down. I'd have an easier time in a bath over a shower I feel. It's mainly the valve open/close processes and the difficulty with the seal have made it a real frustration. I'm trimmed right down, it's just not having it.

    Still, if that doesn't happen for me I get some edging in. Have been for the past few days too until the pumping bruise leaves. Managed somehow to fail at THAT too last night and misjudged it and came. What an idiot - I'm truly not doing myself any favours this week! Mood was up yesterday too and I was happy for the upswing, now today I'm definitely 'lower' for it. Although to take a positive from all that, semen seems to be pre-finasteride normal now. No nocturnals I don't think for a couple of days. I might also have slept slightly better for it too, so that's something.

    I made out with a girl for a while on Monday night, got semi-hard but my testicles ACHED a fair bit after we parted that night, though we didn't have sex (I'm not quite up to that yet ofc) and they hung VERY low afterwards I thought. Hormones? Some sort of sign? I slept and they were pretty much normal yesterday.

    That's enough genital-based misadventures from me. I'll update with sensible things again later in the week. CD thanks for chiming into my threads - for some WEIRD reason I think of your avatar when I step into the cold shower; gets me through it somehow!

    Best of luck everyone.
    Last edited by SS7; 5 Days Ago at 03:02 AM.

  5. #15
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SS7 View Post
    I think as you say it's going to end up being that way and I eventually get the process down. I'd have an easier time in a bath over a shower I feel. It's mainly the valve open/close processes and the difficulty with the seal have made it a real frustration. I'm trimmed right down, it's just not having it.

    Still, if that doesn't happen for me I get some edging in. Have been for the past few days too until the pumping bruise leaves. Managed somehow to fail at THAT too last night and misjudged it and came. What an idiot - I'm truly not doing myself any favours this week! Mood was up yesterday too and I was happy for the upswing, now today I'm definitely 'lower' for it. Although to take a positive from all that, semen seems to be pre-finasteride normal now. No nocturnals I don't think for a couple of days. I might also have slept slightly better for it too, so that's something.

    I made out with a girl for a while on Monday night, got semi-hard but my testicles ACHED a fair bit after we parted that night, though we didn't have sex (I'm not quite up to that yet ofc) and they hung VERY low afterwards I thought. Hormones? Some sort of sign? I slept and they were pretty much normal yesterday.

    That's enough genital-based misadventures from me. I'll update with sensible things again later in the week. CD thanks for chiming into my threads - for some WEIRD reason I think of your avatar when I step into the cold shower; gets me through it somehow!

    Best of luck everyone.
    If it's not sealing, then you have to trim them down more. There is no reason the base shouldn't seal right up. Are you speaking about the valve on the tip of the unit? I mean....it's a little toggle switch. What about it is difficult for you?
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdsnuts View Post
    If it's not sealing, then you have to trim them down more. There is no reason the base shouldn't seal right up. Are you speaking about the valve on the tip of the unit? I mean....it's a little toggle switch. What about it is difficult for you?
    I'll go all out and shave it, see if that helps any. The toggle switch is indeed set in the middle of that rotary valve to also seal/unseal it, but it's very very small and very very stiff - I wonder if even *too* stiff on mine. If I had three hands to operate both on and off whilst holding it upside down, not letting any air in, full of water and then upend and straddle it then sort the valves I'd be alright with it, but as it stands I'd say the majority of the time air gets in, seal isn't right somehow.

    Whilst we're on the subject, once I have this down, have you ever had to replace any seals on yours? Have to replaced the base ever even? How long have you had it/do you still use it? If it's alright to ask all that!

    Thanks CD.

  7. #17
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SS7 View Post
    I'll go all out and shave it, see if that helps any. The toggle switch is indeed set in the middle of that rotary valve to also seal/unseal it, but it's very very small and very very stiff - I wonder if even *too* stiff on mine. If I had three hands to operate both on and off whilst holding it upside down, not letting any air in, full of water and then upend and straddle it then sort the valves I'd be alright with it, but as it stands I'd say the majority of the time air gets in, seal isn't right somehow.

    Whilst we're on the subject, once I have this down, have you ever had to replace any seals on yours? Have to replaced the base ever even? How long have you had it/do you still use it? If it's alright to ask all that!

    Thanks CD.
    Still use mine and no, I've never had to replace the seals.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  8. #18
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    This probably makes more sense to update weekly-ish, seeing as I've noticed the changeable nature of our struggle means day-to-day things can vary from (dare I say it) great to awful.

    So, week 3 of Andro cycle #1 concludes today. Yesterday was a good day. So much so that if I'd had my erections and libido back I could have said I'm cured. Seriously and honestly. I awoke from a restful ten hours asleep (yes really) and got a very acceptable workout in. A VERY successful pumping session followed, Hydromax and I are working through our difficulties and all seemed to be good - trimming right down helps it seal, and the toggle switch element to the seal at the top seems to be more compliant at this point.

    Today however was the polar opposite. I awoke from a fitful sleep to a very insistent malaise and a borderline despair-style lethargy - still though superior to the worst days following the crash late last year. I battled through it and got up and got the day underway. I've not eaten close to enough calories yet either, and probably have to admit I won't in the end.

    Progress has been made, on the whole, and the protocol is just about starting to equip me with the metaphorical big stick I need to beat this back. HIIT later on tonight, I'm going to hit that HARD and ANGRY despite having absolutely nothing in the tank today. Dreading work tomorrow too for some reason. I'm just trusting myself to the veterans' stories of ups and downs on cycle and keeping battling this. There was a real upswing during the middle of the week, and I read that usually week 3 is where the magic happens, so I will keep that in mind and persist. Nocturnals for some reason just aren't happening again, or if they are I'm sleeping through them. No real morning wood in a while.

    I did ejaculate last week during a mutual sexting session with a girl who knows my situation. I'm not entirely sure that's beneficial in my position, but it definitely happened and I felt good for it at least.

    Irritatingly enough I didn't get to a meditation session I had planned with a friend of mine. I'm certainly struggling with making the most of that too, but the breathing exercises get done and the meditation I plod through, which is most certainly the wrong attitude; I effectively just sit there with binaural music on for ten minutes trying to find a spot of light behind my eyes which isn't there, just a stuffy PFS feeling.

    I would definitely like to run another 7-day fast and 7-day juice feast I think, as that brought on the quickest results early on in recovery which "stuck". I'm not quite sure where I'll fit that in - would it be sensible to do it straight after my Andro run,? Or wait a week or more on the herbs? Or keep the herbs up during it even? Or just wait 8 weeks or so following the Andro run, fast/feast, build up for a month and then Andro run #2? Any suggestions or ideas on that one do let me know.

    Ignoring today and in general terms I'm improving and that's at least something. So for that lads, have some random good points:

    - My Lost Empire delivery arrived a little while back, and I couldn't resist sampling a little black Maca. Goodness me that stuff is DELICIOUS!
    - Also MAD delicious is chlorella with grapefruit juice.
    - Cold showers DO get easier, very very slowly but they do. I have found shouting and swearing helps me.
    - There is a certain satisfaction in knowing you're doing or working towards doing all you can be doing.

    Take care out there everyone, keep battling, we'll all beat this in the end! Yesterday was good, and I'll have to focus on that. Seriously, fuck today.

  9. #19
    Established Member Feedback Score 0 jacknap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SS7 View Post
    This probably makes more sense to update weekly-ish, seeing as I've noticed the changeable nature of our struggle means day-to-day things can vary from (dare I say it) great to awful.

    So, week 3 of Andro cycle #1 concludes today. Yesterday was a good day. So much so that if I'd had my erections and libido back I could have said I'm cured. Seriously and honestly. I awoke from a restful ten hours asleep (yes really) and got a very acceptable workout in. A VERY successful pumping session followed, Hydromax and I are working through our difficulties and all seemed to be good - trimming right down helps it seal, and the toggle switch element to the seal at the top seems to be more compliant at this point.

    Today however was the polar opposite. I awoke from a fitful sleep to a very insistent malaise and a borderline despair-style lethargy - still though superior to the worst days following the crash late last year. I battled through it and got up and got the day underway. I've not eaten close to enough calories yet either, and probably have to admit I won't in the end.

    Progress has been made, on the whole, and the protocol is just about starting to equip me with the metaphorical big stick I need to beat this back. HIIT later on tonight, I'm going to hit that HARD and ANGRY despite having absolutely nothing in the tank today. Dreading work tomorrow too for some reason. I'm just trusting myself to the veterans' stories of ups and downs on cycle and keeping battling this. There was a real upswing during the middle of the week, and I read that usually week 3 is where the magic happens, so I will keep that in mind and persist. Nocturnals for some reason just aren't happening again, or if they are I'm sleeping through them. No real morning wood in a while.

    I did ejaculate last week during a mutual sexting session with a girl who knows my situation. I'm not entirely sure that's beneficial in my position, but it definitely happened and I felt good for it at least.

    Irritatingly enough I didn't get to a meditation session I had planned with a friend of mine. I'm certainly struggling with making the most of that too, but the breathing exercises get done and the meditation I plod through, which is most certainly the wrong attitude; I effectively just sit there with binaural music on for ten minutes trying to find a spot of light behind my eyes which isn't there, just a stuffy PFS feeling.

    I would definitely like to run another 7-day fast and 7-day juice feast I think, as that brought on the quickest results early on in recovery which "stuck". I'm not quite sure where I'll fit that in - would it be sensible to do it straight after my Andro run,? Or wait a week or more on the herbs? Or keep the herbs up during it even? Or just wait 8 weeks or so following the Andro run, fast/feast, build up for a month and then Andro run #2? Any suggestions or ideas on that one do let me know.

    Ignoring today and in general terms I'm improving and that's at least something. So for that lads, have some random good points:

    - My Lost Empire delivery arrived a little while back, and I couldn't resist sampling a little black Maca. Goodness me that stuff is DELICIOUS!
    - Also MAD delicious is chlorella with grapefruit juice.
    - Cold showers DO get easier, very very slowly but they do. I have found shouting and swearing helps me.
    - There is a certain satisfaction in knowing you're doing or working towards doing all you can be doing.

    Take care out there everyone, keep battling, we'll all beat this in the end! Yesterday was good, and I'll have to focus on that. Seriously, fuck today.
    nice bro! yes that's the best when you get your libido back and sleep back. even though it goes away in down swings you see that your body can still be normal so recovery becomes way more believable. I've had ALL my functions pretty much back to normal during my recovery and go away so now I'm very confident ito's around the corner.
    From rock bottom to rockstar, baby.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by jacknap View Post
    nice bro! yes that's the best when you get your libido back and sleep back. even though it goes away in down swings you see that your body can still be normal so recovery becomes way more believable. I've had ALL my functions pretty much back to normal during my recovery and go away so now I'm very confident ito's around the corner.
    I've been into your log also jacknap and you're a shining example of solid attitude and approach. Thanks for that, and yes I did get a properly convincing taste of a life past this. Not that I doubtedit really, it's just having that little flash improvement is something to focus on and be grateful for. Even though some days (like today in fact) PFS becomes the true sack of dog-shit it can also be.

    All the very best wishes to you my friend.

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