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  1. #241
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turnover25 View Post
    Why do you regret it so much? Has it had a chance to work yet? It might work out in your favor
    Part of it is that I’m a naturally high-anxiety person. I should have cancelled it the same reasons that I initially cancelled it back in March 2021; I never tried doing short haircut alternatives because I had never done that in my life and it seemed too unlike me. I was always afraid of not looking like myself anymore and I think that was what led me to take fin back in 2009, and what led me to get a hair transplant in 2021. So I feel like I haven’t grown as a person and that I’ve just made things more difficult for myself with this transplant.

    I should’ve tried doing progressively shorter buzz cuts to get used to it, there was no need to rush into the transplant like I did.

    The transplant could still work in my favor at least for awhile, but I’m now realizing that the amount of grafts that were put in won’t be enough, long-term. And I don’t really know how I’d feel about getting a second surgery, both financially, and cosmetically. There’s not going to be enough grafts to cover the bald spot in the back - ever. I thought that that wouldn’t bother me, and I still don’t feel self-conscious about it, but still. He did tell me going into it that I’d end up needing a second surgery, but for some reason I still pushed ahead. I underestimated the emotional toll this would take on me, all the stress and regret it would cause me.

    Longer-term, especially if I need to do more prohormones, it’s going to look too thin in the front/middle, and the “shave your head” option will now be flawed because I'll have a surgical scar from ear to ear. I won’t know how it will look until it fully grows in, but as my remaining native hair goes, I’m not going to be able to do my normal hairstyle with just this transplant.

    However, there is some promising news. According to a NY Times article from April 2021 (wish I’d read this when it was new,) there’s an FDA-approved drug that has worked on mice and pigs that removed scars without a trace. They’re expecting to start human trials later this year and if the early results come back showing that it works, some doctors will start doing it off-label in 2022. They’d cut out the scar, suture it closed, and inject this medication. If it works in humans, and we should hopefully find out in 2022, then that would be an option to allow me to shave my head or do any length buzz with no scar. This is kind of the holy grail option that I’m hoping for. Some people hope it’ll let them cut out, transplant, and regrow infinite hair but I don’t want to spend infinite money and have a million surgeries.

    Another possibility is getting scalp micropigmentation dots over the scar so it blends in with a very short buzz (#0). If you do that, then you can’t shave it down bare skin or you’d have this strip of dots. Other people have the dots all over their scalp and the pictures I’ve seen seem realistic, but I would rather just be able to shave it completely or just have a #0.

    I just can’t afford, mentally, to be worrying about this as I need to focus on my business. I just feel tremendous worry.

    Also, I threw away the klonopin - it affects GABA receptors so it should have the same negative effects on PFS as alcohol does. I’m sure that that’s part of why in my PFS state, I felt even worse and had a massive downswing. But I feel so much suspense worrying about whether that new drug will work in humans - if so, then I should be in the clear. I will feel so relieved if I’ll have the option for a full head shave or a short buzz, with no scar… The suspense is killing me.

  2. #242
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    I hope that taking the benzos didn’t reset my progress at all, hopefully it just delayed things and I’m just in downswing. I’m hoping for significant progress in the back quarter of this year.

    I also have to stop obsessing - OBSESSING - over the transplant and regret, etc. If I’d had any idea that it would affect me this way mentally, there’s no way I would have done it. I just hope that that anti-scar tech proves itself out and then when it’s time, I’ll be able to shave with no signs of any scars. But either way, I will get through this and it shouldn’t become this big or life-changing deal. I need to believe that.

    Does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with high anxiety? I feel like I need some encouragement as well.

  3. #243
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    Quote Originally Posted by LetsGo View Post
    I hope that taking the benzos didn’t reset my progress at all, hopefully it just delayed things and I’m just in downswing. I’m hoping for significant progress in the back quarter of this year.

    I also have to stop obsessing - OBSESSING - over the transplant and regret, etc. If I’d had any idea that it would affect me this way mentally, there’s no way I would have done it. I just hope that that anti-scar tech proves itself out and then when it’s time, I’ll be able to shave with no signs of any scars. But either way, I will get through this and it shouldn’t become this big or life-changing deal. I need to believe that.

    Does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with high anxiety? I feel like I need some encouragement as well.
    Bro I feel you. It’s like I’m writing your posts. I obsess over every little thing and decision I’ve made in my life. For example this time I got a new car. Regretted it because I didn’t like the color. The regret ended up eating me up so much I had an expensive color wrapping done. My natural anxiety is so high and these regrets end up in obsessions that just linger and linger until it ramps up and explodes.

    Or when I’m dating a new girl I can end up doubting and doubting whether she is the one so that I just blow it all up because the doubt and obsession is eating me up inside instead of giving it a fair shot.

    When I started losing my hair the obsession of fixing it near ruined me mentally. The research, hours of browsing online, al wasted time that just made me more and more anxious. I’m almost certain my PFS is just mainly an anxiety floodgate because I was obsessing about crashing. Most of my mental progress so far has by been learning to cope and letting go.

    Unfortunately for the likes of us only learning to let go and cope with the anxiety is ever going to make our lives livable.

    It is good that you are stopping with the benzos. They are scandalously overprescribed for anxiety and only make it worse in the end. They are meant to be temporary fixes for short periods of high stress. To give you enough time to catch a breath and start fighting again.

    Remind yourself of times before PFS. You can probably easily identify the anxiety that was lingering. Now imagine going back to that time and being able to identify the anxiety and cope with it in a healthy way.

    You need to learn to let go and not overthink every minute thing, including stuff from the protocol. You are probably no longer fighting PFS but rather a persistent anxiety disorder, much like me.

    I know it’s been said before but using mindfulness in daily life can really help. When you feel yourself going down the spiral just stop for a second and observe the moment. The noises, the feel of your weight or wind on your skin. These triggers really help me.

    Also, I get that feeling of loneliness too. Even at times when there is no reason at all to feel lonely. Sometimes I dream about really depressing shit and being extremely lonely in my dreams. That can fuck me up for days afterwards.
    Intense feelings of lonelyness is a very common thing with depression.

    I know this isn't really the place to suggest it but, have you ever contemplated about getting on an SSRI? Stuff like lexapro is prescribed for anxiety states like obsessive overthinking. It feels like you have been fighting for a very long time. Maybe it's not that bad of a thing to seek some extra help?
    On the other hand, knowing myself, I'd feel like you will start obsessing over the possible sexual side effects.

    Also if you want to talk, you can always send me a DM man, any time.
    Last edited by Mojo; 10-06-2021 at 10:24 AM.

  4. #244
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mojo View Post
    Bro I feel you. It’s like I’m writing your posts. I obsess over every little thing and decision I’ve made in my life. For example this time I got a new car. Regretted it because I didn’t like the color. The regret ended up eating me up so much I had an expensive color wrapping done. My natural anxiety is so high and these regrets end up in obsessions that just linger and linger until it ramps up and explodes.

    Or when I’m dating a new girl I can end up doubting and doubting whether she is the one so that I just blow it all up because the doubt and obsession is eating me up inside instead of giving it a fair shot.

    When I started losing my hair the obsession of fixing it near ruined me mentally. The research, hours of browsing online, al wasted time that just made me more and more anxious. I’m almost certain my PFS is just mainly an anxiety floodgate because I was obsessing about crashing. Most of my mental progress so far has by been learning to cope and letting go.

    Unfortunately for the likes of us only learning to let go and cope with the anxiety is ever going to make our lives livable.

    It is good that you are stopping with the benzos. They are scandalously overprescribed for anxiety and only make it worse in the end. They are meant to be temporary fixes for short periods of high stress. To give you enough time to catch a breath and start fighting again.

    Remind yourself of times before PFS. You can probably easily identify the anxiety that was lingering. Now imagine going back to that time and being able to identify the anxiety and cope with it in a healthy way.

    You need to learn to let go and not overthink every minute thing, including stuff from the protocol. You are probably no longer fighting PFS but rather a persistent anxiety disorder, much like me.

    I know it’s been said before but using mindfulness in daily life can really help. When you feel yourself going down the spiral just stop for a second and observe the moment. The noises, the feel of your weight or wind on your skin. These triggers really help me.
    Thanks man. I think you can understand how the surgery would make me anxious, since I can’t take it back now. Hopefully it’ll look alright for at least a few years, and then I’ll deal with it when it doesn’t. By this time next year, hopefully the scar removal tech pans out, and then I can get the scar removed and shave my head when it’s time. Or if the tech doesn’t work out, hopefully it’ll be a narrow scar and scalp micropigmentation can camoflauge it well. I thought I’d feel anxious about selling my car, but I really didn’t - it’s just a car.

    I know what you mean about the dating stuff, that has happened to me in the past a lot. When I didn’t know what was wrong with me sexually - I didn’t know I had PFS. Doctors told me it was impossible and that I was actually just anxious and depressed. But it was PFS. In your situation, it might be that you recovered from PFS and your symptoms are from anxiety, but me personally, I am still not over PFS. Everyone said that when I met the right woman, and just relaxed, I’d be able to enjoy sex. But I couldn’t feel any pleasure - with a partner or by myself. It always made me question if a woman was the right one. Nowadays I don’t expect to find a mythical “perfect” partner, but I want someone who is nice, sexually compatible, and hopefully a bit younger than me, like early 30s.

    Thankfully I only took the benzos for short periods, since I had been warned about the addictiveness. A few days ago I remembered my medical cannabis chews that I split into thirds, and after taking a third of the gummy chew, my anxiety dropped by about 95% and I was able to focus on work again. I won’t be doing that daily, of course, but I think doing it for a certain number of days to get past this anxious period can make sense.

    I’ve had many periods where I wasn’t working out, or wasn’t working out hard enough, etc, and that’s why I’m still not over PFS yet. It’s been more than 3 months, I think, since I stopped working out. And I’m only going to be able to recover when I’m back on the full protocol, so I need to get that sorted out.

    On the anxiety front, I go through LONG periods without feeling anxious all the time. But then there are also times when some OCD tendencies lead to major anxiety as I obsess over certain things. I personally don’t obsess too much over material things, only about life things; irreversible things. My life would still be liveable even with PFS and my anxiety situation, but I want to overcome PFS and be able to at least enjoy masturbating again, and then find a nice partner.

    I am one hundred percent still fighting PFS, unfortunately. The anxiety I’m having now is just on top of it. My johnson still looks weird for a few seconds after I urinate - like the hourglass shape, but only after I finish urinating. And that never happens during upswings. So that’s another way that I know that I’m not healed, aside from the obvious sexual sides I still have. I need to get back on the protocol 100% and focus on that. This anxiety bout has really been here since about September 17th or 18th, and I know my body well enough to know that this is still PFS. If I was over PFS and just had anxiety, I’d be getting morning wood every morning, I’d have my libido back, I’d be able to feel full orgasms again, etc. My anxiety has never been so bad that I couldn’t relax at all, so pre-fin it never affected me sexually.

    There were a few months before I moved when I was feeling overwhelmed and focused on the move, and my business, and stopped working out. And then I still don’t have a new gym down here, in part because I don’t want to risk making my transplant scar become wide if I do certain exercises. But I need to focus on the exercises that won’t impact my scalp at all / risk widening the scar, and just do those until I reach at least the 6 week or 8 week mark. I’m already at the 3 week mark now. I just have to get back to the protocol.

    Also I’m still, for some reason, craving validation of my plans to deal with the transplant longer-term. I just need to feel like it wasn’t a life-ruining mistake.

  5. #245
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    If the scar troubles you this much, have you looked into near infra red treatment? You can get a light box that blasts 650nm and 850nm wavelength light and aim it at your scar for like 20 minutes a day and it works really well for repairing skin and reducing scars. I bought a box myself back in the day to get my boys some light. It works by stimulating the michochondria. Its widely used in professional sports to speed up recoveries. I bought a box from china for about 200 euros.

  6. #246
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mojo View Post
    If the scar troubles you this much, have you looked into near infra red treatment? You can get a light box that blasts 650nm and 850nm wavelength light and aim it at your scar for like 20 minutes a day and it works really well for repairing skin and reducing scars. I bought a box myself back in the day to get my boys some light. It works by stimulating the michochondria. Its widely used in professional sports to speed up recoveries. I bought a box from china for about 200 euros.
    Thanks, the incision is still in the early stages of healing, so I won’t know how thick or thin the scar will be for at least another 5 months, minimum. Hopefully it will be paper-thin, and if so, I could buzz my hair fairly short, but we’ll have to see.

    One issue with the scar is that there’s a line with no hair growing out of it. So if I wanted to buzz my hair down short enough, there’d be a visible line with no hair in it. Depending on how wide the scar is, a #2 to #4 (6.35mm to 12.7mm) length buzz is needed for the scar to not be noticeable. It could be longer with a wide scar, which I hope I don’t get. For now, I just have to make sure that I don’t stretch or put tension on the scar - so I can’t do sit-ups or bench presses, or anything that puts tension on the scalp at all.

    If I decide to do a full head shave, I have a red light device that's meant for full body use. I’d probably get a smaller one that could be more targeted. And then I’d also use silicon anti-scar strips at night and around the house. They hydrate the scar, which reduces the collagen over time and makes the scar thin out and blend in. I used them before on a large, wide scar on my finger, and it flattened out and became unnoticable. Between those two things, hopefully I could get the scar to fade to the point where it wouldn’t be noticeable with a shaved head. There are some celebrities like Joe Rogan and Kevin James who have FUT scars, and they’re still noticeable, but I don’t know if they’ve tried doing things to deal with the scars. I’m thinking maybe they didn’t bother trying.

    Anyway, thank you for helping me think of a back-up plan.

    1) Maybe the medical study will enable me to get rid of the scar with no trace. 2) If not, hopefully the scar isn’t recessed. If I shaved my head fully, I’d be able to use silicon anti-scar strips and gels to make the scar decrease to the point where hopefully it wouldn’t be noticeable.

    The staples come out on Monday and that will help me to stop focusing on this stuff. Totally wish I hadn’t put myself through it, but it is what it is.

  7. #247
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    Quote Originally Posted by LetsGo View Post
    Thanks, the incision is still in the early stages of healing, so I won’t know how thick or thin the scar will be for at least another 5 months, minimum. Hopefully it will be paper-thin, and if so, I could buzz my hair fairly short, but we’ll have to see.

    One issue with the scar is that there’s a line with no hair growing out of it. So if I wanted to buzz my hair down short enough, there’d be a visible line with no hair in it. Depending on how wide the scar is, a #2 to #4 (6.35mm to 12.7mm) length buzz is needed for the scar to not be noticeable. It could be longer with a wide scar, which I hope I don’t get. For now, I just have to make sure that I don’t stretch or put tension on the scar - so I can’t do sit-ups or bench presses, or anything that puts tension on the scalp at all.

    If I decide to do a full head shave, I have a red light device that's meant for full body use. I’d probably get a smaller one that could be more targeted. And then I’d also use silicon anti-scar strips at night and around the house. They hydrate the scar, which reduces the collagen over time and makes the scar thin out and blend in. I used them before on a large, wide scar on my finger, and it flattened out and became unnoticable. Between those two things, hopefully I could get the scar to fade to the point where it wouldn’t be noticeable with a shaved head. There are some celebrities like Joe Rogan and Kevin James who have FUT scars, and they’re still noticeable, but I don’t know if they’ve tried doing things to deal with the scars. I’m thinking maybe they didn’t bother trying.

    Anyway, thank you for helping me think of a back-up plan.

    1) Maybe the medical study will enable me to get rid of the scar with no trace. 2) If not, hopefully the scar isn’t recessed. If I shaved my head fully, I’d be able to use silicon anti-scar strips and gels to make the scar decrease to the point where hopefully it wouldn’t be noticeable.

    The staples come out on Monday and that will help me to stop focusing on this stuff. Totally wish I hadn’t put myself through it, but it is what it is.
    I just rock mine.....fuck it. Funny...I was so worried about losing my hair, now I get to walk around bald, with a huge scar from ear to ear.....FUCK IT
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  8. #248
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    Quote Originally Posted by LetsGo View Post
    I hope that taking the benzos didn’t reset my progress at all, hopefully it just delayed things and I’m just in downswing. I’m hoping for significant progress in the back quarter of this year.

    I also have to stop obsessing - OBSESSING - over the transplant and regret, etc. If I’d had any idea that it would affect me this way mentally, there’s no way I would have done it. I just hope that that anti-scar tech proves itself out and then when it’s time, I’ll be able to shave with no signs of any scars. But either way, I will get through this and it shouldn’t become this big or life-changing deal. I need to believe that.

    Does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with high anxiety? I feel like I need some encouragement as well.
    BREATHE....meditate.....exercise

    Didn't know you were taking benzo's.....
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  9. #249
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdsnuts View Post
    BREATHE....meditate.....exercise

    Didn't know you were taking benzo's.....
    It was only in September 2021 for a few days early in the month, and again in the middle of the month. The last time I’d taken them before that was a couple of weeks in 2018.

    So it’s not like I’d been taking them all along, or daily, or weekly, or anything like that.

  10. #250
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    Quote Originally Posted by LetsGo View Post
    It was only in September 2021 for a few days early in the month, and again in the middle of the month. The last time I’d taken them before that was a couple of weeks in 2018.

    So it’s not like I’d been taking them all along, or daily, or weekly, or anything like that.
    Okay, good. Dangerous road.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

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