Quote Originally Posted by LetsGo View Post
Thank you. Ironically my friends are here, so I should feel less lonely.

I am meeting some friends on Saturday and I can’t wait to see them.

I used to be able to chat with some friends on demand when feeling anxious but not anymore, so I don’t have the outlet I crave. It is so hard to regulate my anxiety, even though it is less than it used to be.

I have not worked out at all in over two months so obviously I am in a huge downswing. I need to sell my car tomorrow, set up my internet, get my business phone set up, unpack my core essential items, start throwing away / donating what I will never need, cancel my old gym, join a new gym, start going to the gym, set up my air conditioning bracket which requires a drill, set up my air conditioner (using the bracket so that it wouldn’t literally kill someone if the window opened,) start sprinting again, get a new virtual office for my business, get new stationary with new address, sign up for digital payment receipts, sign up for digital contract signature software, send out 300 letters, etc, etc. It’s a lot. I need to just do it one step at a time.

When things are completed I should have a clean and neat apartment, cool with AC in my bedroom, fans in my other room. Work station set up. Cooking stuff set up. No boxes in my way, no clutter.

Calls coming in a few per day. ~3 paying clients per week. ~$6,000 per week. PFS should improve. Go on dates. Meet someone good. Pursue a relationship. Enjoy the upswings with her and grow emotionally close. Hang out with friends and enjoy the city. That is what I want.

Instead I am surrounded by boxes with a narrow path in my apartment, no internet, business not set up at all, internet not set up yet, car getting tickets and costing me parking fees, anxious, ruminating, feeling overwhelmed, feeling lonely, worried I’m too old, etc.

So I know what I have to do but I have to find strength to do it. It will probably end up being only a few pieces of progress each day. And then over a few weeks I am up and running, whereas someone stronger would be all set up by now. But I just need to do what I need to do.
Man, sounds like a ton. I totally understand. We moved in March, and I started working toward my masters in nursing. It seemed like as soon as I signed up this current downswing started. Now I have assignments due every week, in addition to all the other normal life stuff. Normally, I would be killing this program, and enjoying every min of it, but right now it feels like such a burden.
You're right on when you said, "take it one step at a time". The best thing to do is put one foot in front of the other, and just get one thing done at a time. Also, keep reminding yourself this downswing will pass - that's what I keep doing. If you need to chat pm me and maybe we can set up a time. Either way, just keep pushing.