Turnover 25's road to kick PFS in the ass

[Turnover25]

What's up boys.

It's about that time that I make a new thread for myself. I started fin (for the second time) back in May, got horrible sides, got better than I was before for about a week and a half, then crashed while sitting in finance class. That was the moment all of my fears came to life, I was scared my sides would come back, then all of the sudden I remember thinking "Wow, I can't believe how fucking low and depressed I feel right now" then BOOM! It was like a rush of hot liquid over my body. Anxiety, fear, panic, brain fog, you name it. It all came back, and here I am months later with the same symptoms.

My life has become somewhat livable again since that moment. I've managed to work my way through school through the panic attacks and brain fog, and found ways to occupy my time with riding my bike in the summer time and lifting weights and trying to eat healthy. I was doing a lot of the things on the protocol during the summer, I think they were probably of good use. I was also cheating on my diet and drinking my pain away more than I like to admit, so that undoubtedly has dragged me down. But, it's all good. Time to fix it.

I did a juice fast a month or 2 back, and honestly saw some results, but ended up fucking it up with bad diet. So, this Friday I am starting a 5 day water fast, then I am going to begin the protocol. I am in very good shape, but I still plan to follow the protocol to a T, and not skip the 3 weeks in between fasting, calisthenics, light lifting phase and then heavy lifting (Unless you guys think it's unneccesary if you are in good shape?)

My only concern is that I react harshly to nearly everything I've tried, which is cold showers, supplements, certain foods, etc. They make my head pound and my head pressure/brain fog becomes harsh. I'm assuming it's because my system is fucked up. Never had these problems before.

Anyways, I want to point out that even though I'm extremely fucked up (to the point of suicide many times), I have a lot of hope for me and for others. Due to my brain fog, it's been tough to keep up with a lot of details from other sufferers, but one that REALLY sticks out to me is English. He made it known that in order to truly heal, you need to quit mind-fucking yourself and realize that you are NOT suffering from a life-long illness, and the sooner that you control your anxiety and emotions, the sooner you can heal. I personally feel that this thing feeds off of anxiety and fear, which is why I respect CD for having included that in the protocol (dude knows what he is talking about).

Anyways, that's it guys. I'm severely fucked up, but you know what? I'm going to fucking KICK this things ass. It's going to suck, it's going to be a long journey, but I'm gonna fuckin kick this things ass. And I have all my friends here to help me. Also, I'm here to help you guys too. None of you are alone, as I am not either. Lets do it boys! I'll update you after the fast.

-Turnover