kicked the cold a few days ago and i've been starting a 5-7 day water fast today. i need to get this ship back on track and i think this is a good way to jumpstart that.

anyone who is reading this and is in the early phases of dealing with pfs, please let this be an important word of caution. don't indulge until pfs is long gone. i did so, thinking that there was no way i could get pushed that far back, and i paid the price by being set back in a major way. it's been a profoundly upsetting experience, and as a young man i'm currently in a place in life where i feel like i need to be working hard towards my future. the return of heavy symptoms makes that really hard, but i'm gonna be doing everything i can to put myself in a better place. things are just really hard right now. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't disappointed in myself and where i'm at.

but life has to go on. i made very meaningful progress before, and i'm going to make it again, this time putting pfs in the rear view mirror forever. it's been done, and i have to believe in my own ability to do it.