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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ratchet View Post
    Hey guys. Sad ratchet here. It seems I really fucked my dick up. I developed new plaques a few weeks ago that coincided with pumping. I have indents all along the right side of my penis now, as well as one on the underside that is easily felt on the long, blood filled tube going up the middle of your underside dick. I haven’t had any nocturnal erections since these formed, the tip of my dick is always very cold, I can’t get an erection at all really. Hard flaccid really bad. I tried to continue pumping really gently just to inflate the thing and it seems to be aggravating things/making them worse. I’m truly heartbroken because I’ve come so far just to have this happen. To happen after a breakup. I know stress is playing a significant role here, but I can’t even get it up myself with 10mg of cialis flowing through my veins. I was okay going from a 7”x6” to a 6.25”x5, but I have a horrible feeling this is going to get a lot worse with my current situation overtime. The silver lining is that my hourglass is gone, but only because I have something in the right side counteracting whatever was on the left causing the hourglass to begin with.

    If this were to resolve and my dick was back to its old glory – I’d put myself at 98% recovered. I only have small bouts of brain fog and no libido that come and go. No libido at all now, obviously. I got my bloods done recently and everything is perfect, even by the strict standards more informed medical/fitness practitioners would use.

    I don’t want to scare anyone away from pumping, it honestly does miracles for most. Pay attention to your body and ask yourself beforehand if you could be happy with what you had. I would trade my current situation for my old one in a heart beat and would have never tried. I’m not going to concede that’s it’s over yet, but I am feeling hopeless at the moment.

    There was a time I told myself I would live as a eunuch as long as I got my mind and body back, so I am truly grateful for all of the progress I have made. I might just eat those words tho. Life goes on.

    All the best – fuck gluten

    Ratchet
    While I understand your frustration, I certainly don't want to scare anyone away from pumping as it is a very intrical part of keeping things going downstairs. You MAY have over done it, but even then, the pumping wouldn't cause what you have going on currently.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  2. #82
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    @Ratchet Hey man. Gonna comment here so we don’t hijack his thread. I’m doing alright these days. Still fucked but not as bad. I see you and dogglaw both surpassed me which I’m glad to see, but frustrated that I heal so slow. I did it to myself though, I drank quite a bit the past 6 months cuz I was feeling good and having fun. Also got glutened a few times and had way too much sugar. Could have possibly been recovered by now had I avoided all that, but I’m jumping on a water fast Thursday, then using the new year as my bench Mark to really hit this shit head on and be strict. All in all I’d say I’m progressing normally as I’ve read from other recovery stories. Only good things ahead I hope. Glad to see you’re doing well my man.

    Edit: come to think of it. I remember when we talked like a year ago on message and we were both totally fucked, I’m nowhere near that position anymore. DP/DR and all that is gone. Memory is a lot better. Sometimes I forget how bad things were at that point.
    Last edited by Turnover25; 01-26-2021 at 03:56 PM.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turnover25 View Post
    @Ratchet Hey man. Gonna comment here so we don’t hijack his thread. I’m doing alright these days. Still fucked but not as bad. I see you and dogglaw both surpassed me which I’m glad to see, but frustrated that I heal so slow. I did it to myself though, I drank quite a bit the past 6 months cuz I was feeling good and having fun. Also got glutened a few times and had way too much sugar. Could have possibly been recovered by now had I avoided all that, but I’m jumping on a water fast Thursday, then using the new year as my bench Mark to really hit this shit head on and be strict. All in all I’d say I’m progressing normally as I’ve read from other recovery stories. Only good things ahead I hope. Glad to see you’re doing well my man.

    Edit: come to think of it. I remember when we talked like a year ago on message and we were both totally fucked, I’m nowhere near that position anymore. DP/DR and all that is gone. Memory is a lot better. Sometimes I forget how bad things were at that point.
    That's the tricky part.....avoiding the chemicals when you start to feel good. You think you can do it penalty free....you think you're clear. But that's not the case, as you can see. This is exactly why I tell everyone to avoid the booze and drugs until you're symptom free for at least six months. Even then, tread lightly. You'll be glad you did.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdsnuts View Post
    That's the tricky part.....avoiding the chemicals when you start to feel good. You think you can do it penalty free....you think you're clear. But that's not the case, as you can see. This is exactly why I tell everyone to avoid the booze and drugs until you're symptom free for at least six months. Even then, tread lightly. You'll be glad you did.
    Yeah, we’re only human after all. January 1st was day 1 of zero booze, zero sugar besides fruits until recovery. Just paleo. Almost month #1 of zero cheating down. Who knows how many to go.

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turnover25 View Post
    Yeah, we’re only human after all. January 1st was day 1 of zero booze, zero sugar besides fruits until recovery. Just paleo. Almost month #1 of zero cheating down. Who knows how many to go.
    As many as it takes. If you want to get well, it really doesn't matter. Just know that you WILL get well by staying on the protocol 100%
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  6. #86
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    Hey guys,

    OG Ratchet here. PFS brain made me forget my login information lol.

    Update: I’ve fallen off hard. Im not doing well. Work and breakups have sunk me into a deep depression. Even if I didn’t have PFS, I’d probably still be depressed. Visited PH too, convinced myself fin flipped my sexual orientation & turned me gay. I guess I’m just going to have to learn everything the hard way. Since January, I’ve boozed more than a few times, consumed an entire juul pod a day, and had some questionable dietary choices. What’s funny is I still haven’t had gluten, although I’m sure the amount of ice cream, sugar, and other shit I’ve eaten is just as bad. Still working out. Still jacked AF. Still eating really healthy, just too much & with some questionable additions. Still rotating herbs. Cold showers. Sleeping decent. Hanging outside. I did complete a 7 day water fast.

    I’m not sure where I’m at recovery wise at this point, but I know damn sure I’d be fucking close to finished if I didn’t fall of the horse, shoot the fuckin horse, dig a grave for it & jump in. Everyone around me is telling me I’m doing so much better, I’m a lot more like my old self, etc. etc. and I’m stuck in this DP/DR’d glass box, playing with my little peen like a nervous kid, feeling like a shell of a human being most of the time.

    I guess I’m here to mark a new chapter in my journey and hopefully gain a little traction in my next steps. Depression is a motherfucker in that it completely drains you of all motivation and ambition, even when it comes to avoiding PFS. I’m not staying – I still think avoiding this place & others is key to beating this, but I figured I’d give another (hopefully last, until recovered) update. I’m sitting on 4 bottles of UH – I’m considering giving them a run this summer. It could be what’s needed. It could also be what cements in my anhedonia for life (all you UH’ers always come back and say you have no feelings anymore). I’m also worried about low E, since mine has tested below range every time, except for the last, I’ve had bloods done. None of this matters until I change my environment & sort myself out first though.

    Anyways – do as I say, not as I do. You know the drill, the way out is through. Don’t cheat, don’t give up, not even once. You guys got this.

    Much love

    Ratchet

    Edit: Visiting PH did come with one benefit though – stumbling across and going through all of Bizbee’s posts. I can’t tell if he’s a genius or an idiot, but he’s funny as shit.
    Last edited by Ratchet_V2; 04-25-2021 at 05:43 PM.

  7. #87
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    LOL apologies I know I shouldnt laugh especially in our position but just when you think youve heard all with the side effects of fin you see the gay one. Only on PH...

  8. #88
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    Damn, who said they didn’t have feelings after a Ultrahard run? Feel like i’ve seen nothing but positive feedback on that..

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by LIC2020 View Post
    Damn, who said they didn’t have feelings after a Ultrahard run? Feel like i’ve seen nothing but positive feedback on that..
    Yeah that's a first one for me as well. Care to elborate?
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  10. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ratchet_V2 View Post
    Hey guys,

    OG Ratchet here. PFS brain made me forget my login information lol.

    Update: I’ve fallen off hard. Im not doing well. Work and breakups have sunk me into a deep depression. Even if I didn’t have PFS, I’d probably still be depressed. Visited PH too, convinced myself fin flipped my sexual orientation & turned me gay. I guess I’m just going to have to learn everything the hard way. Since January, I’ve boozed more than a few times, consumed an entire juul pod a day, and had some questionable dietary choices. What’s funny is I still haven’t had gluten, although I’m sure the amount of ice cream, sugar, and other shit I’ve eaten is just as bad. Still working out. Still jacked AF. Still eating really healthy, just too much & with some questionable additions. Still rotating herbs. Cold showers. Sleeping decent. Hanging outside. I did complete a 7 day water fast.

    I’m not sure where I’m at recovery wise at this point, but I know damn sure I’d be fucking close to finished if I didn’t fall of the horse, shoot the fuckin horse, dig a grave for it & jump in. Everyone around me is telling me I’m doing so much better, I’m a lot more like my old self, etc. etc. and I’m stuck in this DP/DR’d glass box, playing with my little peen like a nervous kid, feeling like a shell of a human being most of the time.

    I guess I’m here to mark a new chapter in my journey and hopefully gain a little traction in my next steps. Depression is a motherfucker in that it completely drains you of all motivation and ambition, even when it comes to avoiding PFS. I’m not staying – I still think avoiding this place & others is key to beating this, but I figured I’d give another (hopefully last, until recovered) update. I’m sitting on 4 bottles of UH – I’m considering giving them a run this summer. It could be what’s needed. It could also be what cements in my anhedonia for life (all you UH’ers always come back and say you have no feelings anymore). I’m also worried about low E, since mine has tested below range every time, except for the last, I’ve had bloods done. None of this matters until I change my environment & sort myself out first though.

    Anyways – do as I say, not as I do. You know the drill, the way out is through. Don’t cheat, don’t give up, not even once. You guys got this.

    Much love

    Ratchet

    Edit: Visiting PH did come with one benefit though – stumbling across and going through all of Bizbee’s posts. I can’t tell if he’s a genius or an idiot, but he’s funny as shit.
    Do you know why it took me so long to recover? It wasn't because there wasn't a blue print to follow, although that did have a lot to do with it....but the main reason? I couldn't stop partying. I would make it a good stretch and then go HAM as a treat, when really it wasn't a treat at all, it was just time added to my sentence.

    Listen man, you're only human. When you go for long stretches of time feeling......nothing, then when you get fucked up you feel something, it's tough to avoid, but avoid you must if you want out of the hell your in. THAT was the hardest part for me during recovery, just staying fucking sober.

    But that's exactly the reason why I'm so vocal about it. You will recover that much faster by staying clean and not altering your state of consciousness for fun, even if it's the only respite you get from your symptoms. IT'S A TRAP. A trap that comes with a longer healing time and an uptick in symptoms. The juice isn't worth the squeeze.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

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