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  1. #1
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    Vahn's quest for glory and saw palmetto destruction!!

    Hi all,

    As most of you did, I let the snake of vanity crawl into my garden. Saw palmetto it was called. I still see myself taking that first pill in a futile effort to combat my hair loss genetics. A herbal remedy, because that would be safe, right? Foolish boy. I was a man of 30, but acted as an old infant. Crying and wallowing about my breakup with my ex fiancťe, crying and wallowing about my hair loss. Woe was me. I was so vulnerable. No wonder the snakes found their way in.

    I took it for a year and quit in January 2020. A couple of days later, I developed:
    • Hard, shrunken and bent genitals, with some nice bulging veins to complete the picture
    • Complete impotence
    • Complete loss of libido
    • Severe anxiety (because my f*cking junk shrunk, wtf)


    After a couple of weeks, this resolved. Libido sky high (really, hands free ejaculations), ED resolved, anxiety gone. Only thing remaining were some minor tissue changes in the penis. I could live with that. I really thought I was healed.

    Then April 2020 hit. As if the saw palmetto pulled me an April's fools. I developed:
    • Worse genital shrinkage, more veins, more tissue loss. Seems to be getting worse even now.
    • Severe penile numbness (improved a bit)
    • Impotence
    • Loss of libido and complete destruction of the mind-penis connection
    • Loss of sensation over my whole body that would wax and wane
    • Severe anxiety and depression
    • Slower and lighter beard growth and body hair (started after 6 months...)
    • Thinning hands and wrists (Not too sur about this one, I think I am at great risk of developing body dysmorphia, so it's important not to symptom watch I guess)


    I didn't know what the f*ck was happening to me. I always ignored the possibility of PFS, surely some stupid herbal supplement couldn't cause these symptoms? That's what all my friends, family, docs told me. It was all because of my breakup, they said. You are manifesting physical symptoms because of subconscious pain about your ex. I was very much in pain, that part is true (and I still am). I wanted to believe them, were it only for some ED and libido loss. But seeing your genitals shrink before your eyes in 1 day. Yeah, no.

    My symptoms did not improve, and eventually, after doing every possible medical test (seriously, I have pulled down my pants for so many docs it's ridiculous) which all presented unremarkable results, I came to the only conclusion left: PFS. And as so many of you probably did, I ended up on propeciahelp. This is not a rant against PH, but browsing through it is what made me dangerously suicidal. So much that I'm under psychiatric evaluation and on antidepressants. (I’m currently on Wellbutrin, I believe it helps, but would this in any way interact negatively with the herbs?) I still wake up suicidal most days. It's that severe. I guess you all know what I'm talking about.

    Luckily though, it was by browsing hours upon hours through PH, that some glimmers of hope revealed themselves to me. I read about Chi, cdnuts and many other "holistic" recoveries. People with iron willpower that escaped the pits of hell. I couldn't commit yet, though. Committing would equal accepting the condition I am in. And I was still very much in denial. And if I wasn't in denial, I was in fear of doing anything that could make it worse.

    Well, I'm done. Time to commit. Time to get out of my couch and start doing something. That's why I decided to post today. An affirmative action, a signal to my brain that I'm done despairing and wallowing in self pity. I need some f*cking positivity in my life. I want to live again goddammit. I'll show all of them. I'll show them all how much of a hero I can be! FUCK.

    1. I've bought a juicer but I'm not a big guy and have always eaten very healthy before. I know this is a crucial step, but I'm a bit worried it will just weaken me?
    2. I'm already doing paleo since it was fairly easy to implement this.
    3. Only carbs (gluten free oats) on workout days.
    4. I’ve renewed my gym membership and am doing HIIT.
    5. Loving the cold showers!
    6. Ordered 14 herbs (as my finances permit) for a 2 week cycle and daily supplements. Little scared, I have to admit, since it was a herb that got me here in the first place...
    7. I've got a Joove to sun the boys



    I don't want to go back to the old me.
    I want a better version.
    Time to be a hero!
    Last edited by Vahn; 12-26-2020 at 02:44 PM.

  2. #2
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    Good luck on your quest dude! I feel you on the both sides: being devastaded and willing to overcame. Think seriously on your waterfast, that's your next step IMO.

  3. #3
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    Hi all,

    When I posted last week, I had a bit of an upswing (increased penile sensitivity, mental clarity...), but somehow that all went away again. Especially the shrinkage is driving me nuts, which seems to be getting worse even 9 months after quitting.

    Anyway, I'm about to start my 7 day juice feast, but I've got a couple of questions (sorry if these have been asked before):

    -I'm already taking some daily supplements (vit D, chlorella...) as per the protocol, is it OK to keep taking these? Or juices only?
    -Can I eat other vegetables like spinach, rocket, cauliflower... during the feast? Or, again, juices only?
    -Any advice on how to exercise during the feast? I was thinking some light cardio only.


    Cheers

  4. #4
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    Hey guys,

    Apart from the juice feast, I am slowly implementing the whole protocol and Iím getting used to it. I know I should juice asap.

    Iím in a severe downswing at the moment. I know I shouldnít be symptom watching and try to keep a positive mindset and outlook, but I guess I am looking for some encouragement today.

    My shrinkage is getting worse and worse and is starting to hurt. My baseline is lowering and itís keeping me from mentally relaxing. I donít understand why this is happening so many months after stopping the drug.

    Any tips on the mental aspect and keeping up the good fight? Itís as if My body is incapable of relaxing. 🤷‍♂️

    Really trying to convince myself I will overcome this, but fuck me this shit is relentless.

    Thanks!

  5. #5
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    Hello Vahn,

    During your juice feast, you have to drink juices only, no supplements and nothing that will make your digestion go so no food, only juices.

    I recommand you to not exercises too much, especially cardio, maybe you can try yoga wich is a good thing to keep being active in a slow way.

    Try to keep your mind busy with something else, even if we always end up thinking about PFS, just try... Easier said that done, I am not there yet either.

  6. #6
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vahn View Post
    Hey guys,

    Apart from the juice feast, I am slowly implementing the whole protocol and I’m getting used to it. I know I should juice asap.

    I’m in a severe downswing at the moment. I know I shouldn’t be symptom watching and try to keep a positive mindset and outlook, but I guess I am looking for some encouragement today.

    My shrinkage is getting worse and worse and is starting to hurt. My baseline is lowering and it’s keeping me from mentally relaxing. I don’t understand why this is happening so many months after stopping the drug.

    Any tips on the mental aspect and keeping up the good fight? It’s as if My body is incapable of relaxing. ��‍♂️

    Really trying to convince myself I will overcome this, but fuck me this shit is relentless.

    Thanks!
    You guys really need to READ. I know it's hard in the state you're in, but it is very clearly stated on the site. NOTHING ELSE during a feast/fast except water and juice....THAT'S IT.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

  7. #7
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    Sorry I did not mention water in my post, common sense (to me) that water is ok.
    Last edited by mm.ch; 11-02-2020 at 05:32 PM.

  8. #8
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    Ok guys,

    An update on my recovery.

    I've been unable to do a proper 7 day juice feast. A couple of days after my last update, I had been admitted to university mental health institute for which I had been waiting many months. Good news is that the institute is helping me learn some coping mechanisms. Bad news is I can't introduce a feast here and my exercise options are limited.

    Nonetheless, I am fully embracing all other aspects of the protocol to the best of my ability (diet, exercise, sunning, daily supps, binned my shampoos and bought all natural ones, nofap, bathmate is on the way, breathing and meditation) but I have witnessed a good upswing last week where my sensitivity and penile structure began improving, a lot more positivity, libido spikes, since I began my first herb cycle! So I am very excited to see what consistency will bring. I didn't want to wait hopping on the protocol until after the juice feast, even though I know it's an important part. So equally excited to see what more improvements I will have after the feast!

    Since yesterday, I am in a downswing again, which is what many here warned would happen. But I am trying to keep my mind focused on recovery and the time it will take. I almost a year off saw palmetto, but only a a month or so on parts of the protocol, so the counting starts now, not a year ago

    Thanks everyone for all positivity here. Hope to update with good news in the future.

  9. #9
    A 1k Club Member Feedback Score 0 Maxout777's Avatar
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    Vahn's quest for glory and saw palmetto destruction!!

    Best of luck, my friend. It seems youíve got it set up pretty well here. Iíd recommend fasting or feasting of some variety before getting too far in. It definitely cleans your slate and allows for quicker healing.
    There ain't no traffic along the extra mile.

    Never Quit.

  10. #10
    Moderator Feedback Score 0 Cdsnuts's Avatar
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    Definitely cleanse, one way or the other. It's not a suggestion, it's a must.

    And then there is the antidepressant to think about. I know you're in a fragile state right now, but you won't fully heal while taking any kind of pharmaceuticals.
    Total Male Optimization "People who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those that are doing it"

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