My quest to get my life back - By Outlaw

[Zonz]

Just keep reminding yourself of the potential within you and how close you are to releasing that potential.

[Maxout777]

Highly, highly recommend getting test, estrogen and DHT checked using LCMS and not ECLIA. It can vary wildly. Estrogen using LCMS is how I found out mine was low when ECLIA showed me in mid range.

[Cdsnuts]

You're thinking into it too much. You'll be fine to start the cycle. Something in the right direction is always better then nothing.

[Outlaw]

Highly, highly recommend getting test, estrogen and DHT checked using LCMS and not ECLIA. It can vary wildly. Estrogen using LCMS is how I found out mine was low when ECLIA showed me in mid range.

Damn another absolute legend commenting on my log.

Thanks Maxout, I'll ask for that. The normal test already showed low E so maybe it's even lower.

You're thinking into it too much. You'll be fine to start the cycle. Something in the right direction is always better then nothing.

Sounds good. I really wanna recover as fast as possible so I tend to overthink a lot of shit, gotta watch out for that I guess

[HOPE]

Get better season hasn’t finished brother. Keep going, and hide your daughter season will start knocking on your door.

[Outlaw]

Currently back at the lowest I've ever been. In the last 6 months I managed to almost forget who I used to be. Looking back at memories hurts; I barely relate to them, and I'm afraid to never live like that anymore. If I could take a time machine and not swallow that 1 pill I would cut my arm for it.

Been crying for 2 hours straight, and told my mom I'm afraid I might leave her and my brother one day. Never thought I would ever entertain such dark ideas. My brother is amazing with me, but I still feel alone with friends and family, and I even feel alone here sometimes, where everyone seems to be doing good (although I know it's not the case).

These downswings are rough. I'm always quick to write paragraphs when things go well, but fuck it I'll write when things get ugly too. When I recover people will see the ups, the down, and the final destinstion.

I feel all alone in a big crowd. Huge thanks to CD and the guys around here. Although I would much rather never have set foot in anything PFS related, it has made me meet wholesome human beings from around the world momentarily sharing the same pain as me. When I recover I hope that I can travel the world, and take a beer with some of you. I am in the lowest low but I'll see you on the other side. One day I will be talking to my wife on my porch, looking at my yard's green grass, thinking of how muddy it used to be.

[Cdsnuts]

Like I said....you're going to have these constant up and downs. You gotta know how to ride em out. Entertaining the bad feelings rather then just feeling them, letting them be, and pass, is going to be huge for you. You can't go down the thought of how awful things are when they are awful. Just stay in the moment and move forward, minute by minute. Don't dwell on your negative thoughts. You're creating these mental barriers by doing so.

[Outlaw]

I'm definitely noticing that masturbation has a huge effect on my symptoms. Currently been abstaining for 17 days and symptoms are doing better: mentally I'm fine (orgasm makes me lose my concentration, emotions and sense of being), tinnitus and ear pressure is considerably down (which gives me hope it could go away), and sexually I'm still at the same place (not much libido, premature ejaculation getting a bit better when edging, rubber skin only when I orgasm).

Other good news is I got my blood results, everything is in mol/L. "Previously" refers to my bloodtest 3 months ago.

FSH: 2 UI/L (range 1-18, previously 2.2)
LH: 4.2 UI/L (range 2-12, previously 3.8)
Estradiol: 77 pmol/L (95-223, previously <60)
Prolactin: 11.3 ng/ml (<19, previously 6.7)
Thyroid: 2.8 mU/L (0.35/4.5, previously untested)
Cortisol: 510 nMol/L (145-620, previously untested)

So we can see that my estradiol moved from <60 to 77. However it is still below equally below the range. CD, is running the alpha four still the plan?

I will receive results for T and DHT in a week. Do I need those numbers to assess my choice of prohormone, or can I order the Four solely based on my below range E?

Also noticed that my prolactin nearly doubled. I know bloodtests don't mean much but what could it mean? Anyways, I still feel overall better every month so I don't make a huge deal out od it.

Thanks guys, keep it up, one day that grass is gonna be really green

[Cdsnuts]

I'm definitely noticing that masturbation has a huge effect on my symptoms. Currently been abstaining for 17 days and symptoms are doing better: mentally I'm fine (orgasm makes me lose my concentration, emotions and sense of being), tinnitus and ear pressure is considerably down (which gives me hope it could go away), and sexually I'm still at the same place (not much libido, premature ejaculation getting a bit better when edging, rubber skin only when I orgasm).

Other good news is I got my blood results, everything is in mol/L. "Previously" refers to my bloodtest 3 months ago.

FSH: 2 UI/L (range 1-18, previously 2.2)
LH: 4.2 UI/L (range 2-12, previously 3.8)
Estradiol: 77 pmol/L (95-223, previously <60)
Prolactin: 11.3 ng/ml (<19, previously 6.7)
Thyroid: 2.8 mU/L (0.35/4.5, previously untested)
Cortisol: 510 nMol/L (145-620, previously untested)

So we can see that my estradiol moved from <60 to 77. However it is still below equally below the range. CD, is running the alpha four still the plan?

I will receive results for T and DHT in a week. Do I need those numbers to assess my choice of prohormone, or can I order the Four solely based on my below range E?

Also noticed that my prolactin nearly doubled. I know bloodtests don't mean much but what could it mean? Anyways, I still feel overall better every month so I don't make a huge deal out od it.

Thanks guys, keep it up, one day that grass is gonna be really green

You don't need them, but they could prove useful in this aspect.

I would never suggest some one run the alpha four alone without having a DHT solo prohormone on the side, just in case. The point of these cycles is to help boost you along and help regenerate 5ar. That's why the cycles are DHT based not to mention that the DHT sensitive tissues have been starved because of 5ar inhibition.

I also suggest that the majority of cycles are DHT heavy. The four was always meant to be used as a stack, rather then a standalone. We want to focus on DHT, 5ar, not Test seeing as the enzymes needed to turn it into DHT have been compromised. The four just makes things a little better, added in proper amounts, which is different for everyone depending on their make up.

[Outlaw]

He's been putting in mad work..........he'll be making a recovery post soon. That's how it happens!

Ok....so here is where I'm thinking of changing an area in regards to dosing. For the guys that got blood tests and KNOW their E is low then running the four would be fine, even though typically I don't recommend it until you're in several cycels. Subsequently your tissues are starved of DHT as well, so if we have a bunch of guys with bloods, even though I never used them, that would be helpful considering your first PH cycle. But I ususally don't recommend a PH cycle until someones been on the protocol for at least three months. Because in that time if you're doing everything right, things will be more balanced.

Use yourself as a guinea pig. You may help alot of guys. If you KNOW your E is low, then run a cycle of Alpha Four at three pumps daily for four weeks and see how you feel. Then log it here for everyone to see. The four has androsterone in it too so it covers all bases.

Honestly, I'm damn curious to see.

Hey gotchu regarding the importance of DHT heavy prohormones.

However I'm not sure if I understood your response, I was making a reference to this prior suggestion of yours to try AlphaFour as my 1st prohormone (for guys like me that knew their E was low).

Considering my E is still low, what do you suggest?
- Alpha4 with UltraHard on the side in case
- Just UltraHard


Thanks a lot