Outlaw's vacation at the Alpha Four resort (1st cycle)

[Outlaw]

Been running 5 pumps for the last 3 days and I don't notice much. I read CD say on xxaleksi's thread that the Four was strong and that 2 pumps should be plenty. I guess I'm still too early in my recovery to feel it.

[HOPE]

Been running 5 pumps for the last 3 days and I don't notice much. I read CD say on xxaleksi's thread that the Four was strong and that 2 pumps should be plenty. I guess I'm still too early in my recovery to feel it.

Based on my readings, it’s completely normal not to feel your first cycle while in a PFS state. Read Rickys thread if I’m not mistaken.

[Outlaw]

Yeah I'm letting things work in the background. I also read that it took Turnover 1-2 months postcycle to notice his first cycle's improvements. So even if I feel nothing, the snapback might treat me well

[Outlaw]

The last 2 days I had my most normal days mentally since this nightmare started.

I was with family in the cottage and I felt like myself. Might be the combination of nofap and Alpha Four, but I have some flickers of my oldself, mainly confidence-wise, awareness of my own person.

Sexually it seems to be getting better but progress is super slow, and fluctuates. It's also hard to quantify libido when it's been over a month of nofap. But recently I've been edging 2-4x/day. I know I should reduce that. It's not a raging need like prePFS, but unlike a couple months ago, I am clearly not doing it purely to test if it works.

Tinnitus still there, fluctuates through the day. I've had it significantly reduced for a couple days so I still have hope it will go away. It is possible that PH raise tinnitus, since they impact GABA? Maybe the snapback will quiet it.

Will continue to update with a lot of details even if the thread is quiet. It helps me remember my progress in downswings, and I hope it will help others in the future. This thing takes times to heal and it seems like there are many transitory phases of healing. But for some reason I stay focused on what's left and I think that I still have PFS to the same degree. We have to celebrate each one. The progress I made in 4 months is crazy.

[Outlaw]

The last 2 days I had my most normal days mentally since this nightmare started.

I was with family in the cottage and I felt like myself. Might be the combination of nofap and Alpha Four, but I have some flickers of my oldself, mainly confidence-wise, awareness of my own person.

Sexually it seems to be getting better but progress is super slow, and fluctuates. It's also hard to quantify libido when it's been over a month of nofap. But recently I've been edging 2-4x/day. I know I should reduce that. It's not a raging need like prePFS, but unlike a couple months ago, I am clearly not doing it purely to test if it works.

Tinnitus still there, fluctuates through the day. I've had it significantly reduced for a couple days so I still have hope it will go away. It is possible that PH raise tinnitus, since they impact GABA? Maybe the snapback will quiet it.

Will continue to update with a lot of details even if the thread is quiet. It helps me remember my progress in downswings, and I hope it will help others in the future. This thing takes times to heal and it seems like there are many transitory phases of healing. But for some reason I stay focused on what's left and I think that I still have PFS to the same degree. We have to celebrate each one. The progress I made in 4 months is crazy.

Backloaded yesterday with rice, and once again started feeling bad. Anxiety, tinnitus, rubbery skin. It's crazy, the effect is felt within 2-3h. I'm beginning to see a clear pattern that recently backloading is always followed by a rise of symptoms. The correlation is too direct for it to only be randlm downswings. I will stop it for some time.

Last few days haven't been as good, but still better than pre-cycle. Gotta keep grinding

[Jado]

Whatsup soldiers,

After 3,5 months on protocol, I will be starting my first cycle. The recommended prohormone is UltraHard, but since my last 2 bloodtests have shown low estrogen, CD has given me the green light to start with Alpha Four instead (as UH would have tanked my E even more. I have UltraHard bottles on the side and will switch mid-cycle if needed.

I have read of logs on the forum and these are the key points I have taken away when it comes to cycling. Please confirm and let me know if I'm missing anything:
- Apply in the morning to avoid sleep problems
- Drink coconut water to resplenish potassium
- Avoid masturbation if possible
- Eat a lot of carbs to resplenish glycogen
- Avoid road rage (thanks CD)

Couple quick questions and I'll be on my way
1) no herbs but pine pollen is still fine right?
2) can I backload with gluten free carbs during
the day or do I keep it on workout nights?
3) should I eat straight after I apply it in the
morning, or can I take my coffee and eat 1-2
hours later?

Really excited to start this cycle. I'm proud of myself for locking in 14 solid weeks of protocol and now I get to have some fun. Will use this cycle as an opportunity to work on the areas I'm lacking (meditation, pumping, HIIT 2x/week instead of 1). Remaining symptoms are variable ear problems (tinnitus, sound sensitivity, ear pressure), low libido, less sensitivity/more premature, slight girth loss.

Let's do it, any help/comments are welcome guys!

Hey bro, glad you're trying your first cycle. Just curious... what was your E level? I've tried a couple cycles, two with Super R Andro and one with Androhard. I always end up with anxiety/depression/de-realization. I'm wondering if it may be dropping my E level too much... Keep pluggin' away man, we'll all beat this crap.

[Outlaw]

Hey bro, glad you're trying your first cycle. Just curious... what was your E level? I've tried a couple cycles, two with Super R Andro and one with Androhard. I always end up with anxiety/depression/de-realization. I'm wondering if it may be dropping my E level too much... Keep pluggin' away man, we'll all beat this crap.

Hey man,

2nd week of March my E was less than 60 nmol/L (lab doesnt show below 60 apparently), and 3 weeks ago it was at 77 (which is still below the 95~200 range).

So far I feel the best I've ever felt since this started. Managed a couple erections from visual stimulation, libido and perception of women seems a bit better, and mentally I just feel more confident/like myself. Obviously not anything like before in either category, but still a glimpse of normalcy. Only downside if I consistently wake up about an hour before my alarm, so perharps impacted sleep.

I will try a typical Ultrahard cycle for my next one, so perhaps I'll be able to tell you the difference.

Keep it up man, this shit is intense but I'm convinced it has an end

[Jado]

Hey man,

2nd week of March my E was less than 60 nmol/L (lab doesnt show below 60 apparently), and 3 weeks ago it was at 77 (which is still below the 95~200 range).

So far I feel the best I've ever felt since this started. Managed a couple erections from visual stimulation, libido and perception of women seems a bit better, and mentally I just feel more confident/like myself. Obviously not anything like before in either category, but still a glimpse of normalcy. Only downside if I consistently wake up about an hour before my alarm, so perharps impacted sleep.

I will try a typical Ultrahard cycle for my next one, so perhaps I'll be able to tell you the difference.

Keep it up man, this shit is intense but I'm convinced it has an end

Thanks, man. I agree we'll get through this nonsense. Gotta keep pushing.

[Outlaw]

Heavy downswing at the resort today. Debilitating tinnitus, depression, brainfog, 0 libido, suicidal thoughts. Might be because I slept 6h last night, or just a normal downswing from the cycle.

I improved over 4 months but not gonna lie my hope is always really low during these downswings.

Cant give up

[Outlaw]

I've been taking 5 pumps for the last 2 weeks, maybe I need to lower to 4. I feel like absolute shit, if I could painlessly die I would.

I'm gonna keep going until 4 weeks, hopefully it will help in the background.