This was my very last post on PH.....almost ten years ago.

A few things:

I am not an endocrinologist. I am a guy who's vanity got the best of him. That vanity lead me into hell, which lead me to this website. This website, while good at first, will suck the life out of you. It's good to know you're not crazy. It's good to know that there are others in your situation. It's good to know that there is growing awareness of your plight. It is not good to spend every waking minute of your day scrolling through every post that comes up and reading the horror stories that ensue. Not good at all. It is also completely counter productive to do nothing but think about how fucked up your are. I know it's hard when it's in your face every day you're conscious, but you have to try and move on. Try and redirect your thinking. This is the first step to moving forward.

I'm seeing this from the other side now. I'm seeing how I used to be. It's awful. Just awful. The scrambling desperation in the PM's I get and the posts on this thread......just sickening. I get it. Believe me.....I get it all to well. I don't take one minute for granted anymore. I LOVE life. Just being. Just existing, is pleasurable.

I'm going to give you some advice. EVERYTHING you need to know about what I did is listed in the first couple pages of this thread. EVERYTHING. The outline is there. It was one of the first things I wrote. Yet I go through this thread, and people are asking for an outline? IT IS ALREADY THERE. This is a simple concept to follow, just not easy sometimes. You guys are making it out to be WAY harder then it really is.

I will leave you with this.....FOLLOW THE OUTLINE. JUST FOLLOW IT. Stop thinking and obsessing over it. You're making it more then it is. Jump on the program. Stop coming here. AND DO IT. Live your life as it is, now. It will slowly change and get better. It may take you six months or it may take you a year or more. SO WHAT. I struggled for 7 years.....7 fucking years of my life, before I started getting somewhere. I took that bullet. YOU DON'T HAVE TOO. My god... you're just wasting time.

And concerning the negative nancys.....the naysayers....the emotional vampires. Let me tell you about that type. They'll NEVER get better. They'll NEVER heal. That type of personality doesn't have the mental fortitude or the capacity to do what is necessary to get where they want to go. They are their own worst enemy. One of the first things you need to embark on this is HOPE. BELIEF. This is not some magic hocus pocus bullshit, believe me. At my worst, I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GOING TO GET BETTER........ALWAYS. I made it so. Maybe you guys should learn about manifesting things and conditioning your mind properly. Or...you can just scoff at the idea as some new age hippy snake oil waste of time. Guess what? Either way, you're going to be right.

I wish you all the best of luck. I've done my piece. I cannot contribute anymore. It has been more exhausting then I had planned on, that's for sure. But I'm at peace knowing that I left all of my knowledge and experience for those who have the strength and fortitude to take it up and run with it. You can do it. I did. So can you.

God Speed.

Ten fucking years already!! WTF......