Beginning of my recovery story

[Thetfordboy]

Thank you to both of you, can't tell you what it means to get responses.

[Thetfordboy]

Ok update-sorry for being negative but I have sunk into a deep depression today. I just am not accepting things, feel exhausted all the time, paralysed with fear and uncertainty, feel overwhelmed....just generally feel dead. Overeating and was up all last night with ball ache, it finally subsided this evening after taking a walk but I just don't know even how to begin starting the protocol-mainly as I have now left my job,left the city I was living in and back in my hometown living with my parents who think I am on vacation when I'm actually just having the biggest turmoil and breakdown of my entire life. I have always had really bad issues with procrastination and organisation and possible Asperger's so for me the protocol is just so overwhelming.

I am supposed to return to work in 2 weeks but I honestly don't think I can face it or anything. As soon as I see friends I am ok with them for half an hour then feel panicky and need to be on my own. I can't relax. I can't explain it, I can't sleep. I can't focus. I feel like I am losing my sanity and just wanting for an injection to put me into a permanent sleep. It's like I've lost all will to go on. Today I was fascinating about a house fire that would just kill me in my sleep or dying of a heart defect.
Again sorry for being negative but I've just never being a strong person in times of crisis and have always being defeatist in nature lacking confidence and this is slowly begin to destroy me. I don't know how to cope as for me the fear has taken a huge grip of me that I just can't shake and has sort of lulled me into indifference instead of action but this is a common trend for me that in times of needing action I fall apart.

[PashaSolid]

You gotta get on this man, sooner you start the sooner you start getting better. Take this two weeks to do a feast/fast. Juice might be a lot of work for you in this state so try a water fast for a few days, if the water fast is too difficult order some electrolyte solution to help, as long as you ingest less than 50 calories you are still in ketosis and cleaning up but the electrolytes will keep you from that crazy fatigue. It’ll be done before you know it. After those few days you can have more of those walks like the one you enjoyed that helped you today. Do your breath work to calm down. Pretty much everyone here has been there, you’ll get over the rough patch you’re in now but you just gotta take the action. Ask yourself this, which of the two discomforts are worse

1.Fatigue/ feeling overwhelmed from doing the protocol,

Or…

2. All the Pain caused from a PFS life


The protocol is laid out on totalmaleoptimization, the putting it all together tab. Follow what you can right now in increments. Little by little it’ll become a part of you but you gotta start, it’s the only way to start feeling better.

[Thetfordboy]

Thanks, I want to do the water fast but am afraid that the 14 day one might kill me.

My big problem is my life has gone into massive freefall and I'm not processing it. I should be working today but am laying in my parents spare bedroom. I am back in the classroom in 2 weeks time-I am a teacher but I really don't know if that is going to happen as before I left managers were on at me to say my performance was terrible and I was letting the students do whatever they wanted as I just sat at my desk during lessons and was completely detached from the lessons and chaos followed. My boss give me a stern telling off about my incompetence before I asked for time off.

I am afraid if I even try to return I won't cope. Jesus sorry I am not writing anything here good, I am just spinning my wheels here. I am all over the place and going around in circles.

Could somebody here please tell me is a 7 day or 14 day water fast safe for me as I am reading different stuff online and I can't afford to go to a clinic.

[isseo]

don't do 14 days fasting alone. It's too dangerous.

In my opinion you should do 7-14 days of fasting by drinking only fruit juice (like the protocol, sorry for my english I'm not fluent, and not in a smoothie) Otherwise, 5 days of water fasting. Maybe 7. But 14 without support would be very dangerous

[Thetfordboy]

I can't do juice fast as my mum would flip if I tried to do that in her kitchen.

[PashaSolid]

Bro read my response again, 3 or 4 days of water fasting. Refeed on the next day with juice buy some at an organic juice bar. Then slowly introduce solid foods. You cannot do extended water fasts right now in your state alone.

[xxaleksi]

Yeah long water fasts should always be supervised but I personally did a 14 dayer at home and had no problems whatsoever. I’d never recommend anyone else do it though as it can be dangerous

[Thetfordboy]

Hi update is that my left testicle is getting very sore the past 5 days or so, it is radiating to my back and legs at times and is driving me crazy-any tips on how to stop this? I know pain killers is the obvious solution but I went into this with the thought of 'no drugs ever again' and I pretty much want to stick to that unless 100 percent necessary.

[Thetfordboy]

Ok update- I am on day 3 of water fast. Hunger is hitting hard today. I want to make it to 7 days at least if possible. I am godfather for a mate's child on Saturday which will be day 5 of the fast but have to do my best to avoid food. I am doing pretty much nothing but laying in bed or around the house.

I had mild erections in the last week and was able to masturbate and orgasm quite well but these are now gone again as is libido. I'm drinking plenty of water and adding some of that Himalayan salt. Just been doing mass amounts of reading on here.