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  1. #1
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    Beginning of my recovery story

    Hi, I am 36. I took propecia for 2 weeks -6 tabs in total over the course of two weeks in February-early March.

    Early on I noticed ball ache on left ball. Googling it, I listened to the 'professionals' who said it would go with time. What followed over the 2 weeks was a downward spiral as my ache escalated and after the end of the 2nd week I binned them.

    Then after quitting the pain just got worse, my anxiety sky rocketed and I got severe ed, libido gone and numb feeling in genitals. Following this, I went down a rabbit hole of looking on the negative websites and terrifying myself.

    Days after quitting the drug the pain got so worse that I went to the docs several times but they said my balls looked fine. My mental health crashed around the 2nd week off and I had to call into work sick. I started having severe panic over the ed and libido gone and I felt a severe depression that was akin to a severe comedown from Meth or MDMA- I don't drink or use drugs but did experiment in the past.

    I then was unable to sleep and called the mental health crisis team who came and took me into a recovery home-the whole thing felt like I was looking at myself and had lost all control, I had begged for them to put me into a psch ward as I felt I was losing my sanity. What followed in the mental recovery unit were days of hell and like something I can't describe; docs were trying to give me drugs but I refused them knowing it made symptoms worse.

    I would sit crying and panicking and trying to tell the docs about PFS but they looked at me like I was crazy. If you have ever seen Terminator 2 with Sarah Connor in the mental institution trying to tell the docs about Skynet and the end of the world coming and them thinking she was delusional you will understand what I was going through. Nobody believed me and none of them had heard of PFS; they thought I was having a mental breakdown.

    It was then in my deepest despair that I found a recovery story on Reddit and a recovery story linking it to this site. I messaged him and I thought it was all a scam but he messaged back and to my amazement he was genuine. It ended up we are from the same area in Ireland and he rang me and talked me around. I felt like a weight was lifting.

    Anyway it's being 3 weeks since I quit. I have anxiety, numb genitals, complete ed, no libido. I think the ed and no libido could be causing the anxiety flares. I have started Wim Hoff's breathing which has helped with sleeping and using the cold showers. I have ordered 9 herbs online and am on day 6 of the juice feast. I have ordered the cock pump too and next plan to get the recommended washing powders etc.

    I have to admit I was not using organic as the shop said that due to lack of sales they don't really stock it. Today I read that to counteract this just soak it in water with vinegar or baking soda and it removes up to 98 percent of pesticides etc.

    I drink 5 litres daily and use a litre of freshly squeezed orange to mix it and use pretty much exactly what was recommended on the website. The past week has been dark and I feel anxious but this is the beginning now of my recovery. 6 days into juice fast and I intend to make it to 14 days.

  2. #2
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    Hi. Here you are in good hands. You do well to follow protocol.

    However, I'm not an English speaker and I'm not sure I understand. Do you want to dip your penis in baking soda? If yes, what is the point? it's still very aggressive, it makes me perplexed.

    I look forward to following your progress. take care of you.

  3. #3
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    No worries man...read all the stickies on this forum and dig through past threads and just read and read and read. Take notes of things as you read, and implement these things into your routine going forward. Also, read the entirety of totalmaleoptimization.com. This is an opportunity to reset yourself, transcend your previous level of health, and with lots of hard work and consistency, attain a greater appreciation for life.

  4. #4
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    Thanks, I have a question-how essential is eating organic meat? I don't know if I can afford it

  5. #5
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    Do you want to dip your penis in baking soda?

    no the fruit and veg

  6. #6
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    Ok update-on day 9 of juice feast. Didn't get much sleep a few nights with noisy housemate and it's left me mentally fucked. Got in trouble at work for poor performance and that coupled with pfs just made me crack mentally,I went and sat in a local park and just cried my eyes out. Never felty so low and so scared.

  7. #7
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    I don't understand this baking soda thing. Dipping your penis in it will I think be bad for it.

    I understand your state of sadness and your confusion. I went to my psychologist 4 months ago and after telling my life story, I cried worse.

    I was dead physically, dead mentally, just dead... Crying probably did you good indirectly.

    Try to follow the protocol as well as possible, and try to believe in it.
    It should help you a lot. Meditate in your bed before sleeping, and take magnesium, glycine.

    courage, you can do it. We are all together.

  8. #8
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    Ok update, I seem to be on a downward spiral-discovered the juice fast I was doing was all wrong in that I was making smoothies. I am going to do 14 water day fast instead, testicle pain is returning-think it's from the stress. I am sorry for being negative but don't worry I'll turn this around.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetfordboy View Post
    Ok update, I seem to be on a downward spiral-discovered the juice fast I was doing was all wrong in that I was making smoothies. I am going to do 14 water day fast instead, testicle pain is returning-think it's from the stress. I am sorry for being negative but don't worry I'll turn this around.
    Are you doing it at home? Make sure you really know what youíre doing as it can be dangerous if unsupervised and not done properly.

    Iíve done a 14-day water fast at home and it was actually much easier than juice feasting but I spent like a week learning what to do, what not to do, how to stay safe etc.

  10. #10
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    yES DOING IT at home, what tips can you give me please?

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