Kurse's Journey to 200% Peak Human Performance

[Kurse]

Hey all, I am going to be completely transparent with my journey so I will be Logging downswings and upswings.

Status: Downswing

So I will admit over Christmas I was able to act normal in front of friends and family for the most part but I indulged in some Christmas Pudding since I didn't want to seem rude or different in any way and it definitely triggered a downswing.

I finally realise what it's like to be a woman lol. I have been crying for no reason almost daily for a solid 4 days. Really trying to push through it. Luckily I haven't regressed sexually but my mental state has definitely taken a hit. I am also having long bouts of Anxiety and Depression that last for a long time. For some context pre-fin, It was incredibly rare to find me in a depressed state Like probably once or twice per year if that! Cold showers and Breathing/Mediation help but they don't help for very long at the moment.

Sorry for venting... I know everyone goes through the same stuff I just feel a bit vulnerable right now.

[algernon]

Hi Kurse,

The fun part about all this is the immediate effect food sensitivities will have, as you know. Shit sucks. Rejecting food from friends and family becomes like a hobby for those recovering. And downswings are fucking awful. I'm in one at the moment, too. Genuinely crazy how quick PFS depression can change your thoughts and amplify anxieties. Just gotta push through them. Once you're out the other end, life becomes manageable again. Great work and merry xmas.

[Kurse]

I appreciate the support man. It's a big thing to go through without letting people know what is happening to you. In all honesty, I am still partly in shock from all this but the progress I made gave me hope and reading recovery stories always brings my mood up. I am glad we have a place to help each other when times are tough. Just going to have to tough this one out for a bit and then we shall both be in upswing heaven haha. merry xmas man!

[Kurse]

Status: Upswing

Downswing Lasted: (Night of 25/12/2022 --> Morning of 04/01/2023) - I am from the UK so date/month/year is flipped

Hey guys just want to drop in and say I am feeling quite good. Anxiety and Depression have lifted massively and my junk is hanging normally more often (still fluctuates throughout the day) also my libido seems to be up a tad bit, as I keep getting random urges which are always reassuring. Sleep is still at a consistent 5-6 hours not sure how to break through this. Might increase my Glycine intake and have cold showers at night but it's okay for now. I am also finally able to tolerate caffeine! Thank god! I had my first coffee with L-Theanine and my god, concentration went through the roof. Smashed out a University project in less than a day haha.

I also recieved my bathmate today and before I was going to use It I mascaped and... gave myself a nasty cut at the bottom of my shaft somehow. Will wait for that to heal before I use it also a good deterant from masturbating haha. Shocked me a little bit but I will be okay.

Also the protocol has cleared up my skin quite a bit. Before this I had a poor diet and always had super hot showers along with a shit skincare routine causing moderate acne on my face and back and the protocol has cleared up my skin! and yes I still have oily skin/hair so it's not due to lack of sebum.

I still have hairfall so I know my DHT is still working which is nice. I definately have it easier than some people here... but I did realise that before I took Finasteride I was also taking Fenugreek and using Nizorol Shampoo and a Saw Palmetto shampoo so I am guessing I just completely nuked my system which is why it freaked out so much (Binned all those products now)

Also considering adding NMN/NAD+ to the supplements I am taking. Has anyone had a positive experience with these? I am seeing them recommended more than creatine recently in the bodybuilding scene. I am also really liking the weightlifting... like a lot, do recovered people still run Ultra Hard and does it help with gains?

Improvements:
Moderate ED --> Minor ED
Low Libido --> Fluctuating Libido
Crippling Anxiety --> Slightly Increased Anxiety (Random Panic / Minor Brain Fog)
Always Hard-Flaccid or Rubbery --> (Fluctuating Between Hard Flaccid/Normal/Rubbery) always normal upon waking
Major Sleep Issues --> Minor Sleep Issues
Moderate Concentration --> Brilliant Concentration (I think I must be a hyper responder to L-Theanine + Coffee or something haha) (note: I try to limit caffiene to when I really need it)

That's all from me. Will update you all when I get my next downswing/upswing.

p.s. HIIT is a bitch, absolutely wipes me out haha

[Zerolibido]

Gimp

[Zerolibido]

You're not a gimo.you have done well

All.I need to do as rise out mikd.insomnia
For years I slept eight plus hours and recovered
Then hit eased by bullying
Went to.six hours I panicked but instead of leaving and resetting in 2019 I started smoking and taking seroquel here and there

Fuck man that shifty citizens advice energy-efficient murdered me
I up in court for sending threateningbemeoal

I can't believe it man I had recovered for eight
What's
I should have done TRT

[Zerolibido]

How the fuck Am I meant to.live like this I lived a completely nor.All life between twenty thirteen and Trent y twenty one then first f w months of last year things went downhill
All because undereducated ducking seroquel instead of.leaving that shifty unpaid job and resetting sleep.
Now I have axo level.pfs and I'm too.old
To get better

I'm forty ducking six and there has been no improvement in research they are ducking starting from scratch useless ducking cunt s

I feel like I never had pfs for a decade and now I have extreme pfs

- - - Updated - - -

I.mean I literally went to about one hundred concerts footballlmmatches trips abroad got drunk could sell it off an waank.allday

- - - Updated - - -

I fuck it hate that awor cunt

Ducked off.for five years and only came back when. Untangling through thatbhell at that shifty charity

[Zerolibido]

Do you think this is reversible for eberyone?

[Zerolibido]

Should I off myself.butch?