I understand your scepticism, and you're perfectly welcome to have that position, but how does your rambling benefit any of us, yourself included.
I agree we should be doing a lot more to increase funding for this condition, and am a strong proponent of the notion that it will be much more easily resolved with CRISPR (which is coming sooner than you may think), but in the meantime what's the issue with people doing a protocol, which has alleviated and resolved symptoms for so many.
Unlike many on this forum, I'm also not completely against pharmaceuticals, and I believe they have their place. In your instance, I feel consulting with your GP, and requesting non-SSRI medication may be beneficial.
As for your statements regarding ending your life, I'll take them at face value, and tell you honestly that it's not worth it, for the sake of your mother alone.
God bless you and hope you have a speedy recovery.