Quote Originally Posted by Turnover25 View Post
Decided it was time to finally become a member here.

I've been lurking here for a few months. I haven't joined because I think I was scared. Joining the site and finally posting would solidify what has been happening to me for the past 4 months. I think not joining somewhat allowed me to ignore my fate. Recently I've realized that there is no escaping this hell without reaching out for help, so here I am.

I'm a completely normal dude. Played sports throughout my adolescent life, a musician, had friends and a life, used to be a Marine. There was nothing wrong with me, physically or mentally. About a year back, I started to become anxious about my hair starting to fall out. I saw some dumbass add for a hairless drug and decided to give it a try. Had horrible side effects. I remember sitting in class on about the 3rd day of taking it, and it looked like I had just taken a shower with my clothes on. I stood up in front of the class and walked out because I was drenched my own sweat. Im talking drenched. And the anxiety was out of this world. So, I decided to stop taking it. The side effects went away. A year later, I decided to start up again. This time, the side effects were just as real, but it was different. There was an added effect that we call "brain fog" so I decided to quit. Well, that shit never stopped. Then, I was greeted with a nice set of panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and lost the ability to get my dick hard (I don't struggle very much in this department).

My journey since then has been nothing short of a nightmare. It began with a complete loss of reality. My depersonalization was so bad that I felt like I was in a completely different world. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. Watching the TV gave me migraines and made my head buzz. Sounds would float around my head in every which direction instead of my ears just gathering the sound. It was like a fucking acid trip. This still happens periodically. I remember after I crashed, it felt like someone poured hot lava down the top of my skull and the liquid was moving around in my head.

As of today, my symptoms are complete memory loss (there are days where I literally don't know where the fuck I am or how I got there) it's like nothing exists or has ever existed except this very second. Then, said second leaves and I'm in the next second. Also, a brain fog that isn't as severe as it used to be, but everything in my vision looks weird as fuck. It's like everything is in 2D, and someone turned the contrast up to high. Bright lights make it worse and make my head buzz. So does driving, TV, or using my cell phone. Anyone ever experience this?

Also, anxiety and panic attacks at the slightest exposure of stress. I'm a college student now, so sitting in class gives me plenty of these. Looking at formulas trying to figure them out (I'm a finance major) makes me freak out inside. I used to be very strong with math.

I've been laughed at by doctors, my family has completely left me in the dark and told me "We're sick of hearing about it, just get better already and stop worrying about it" and I haven't reached out to my friends because of how stupid I sound trying to tell them a hairless drug has completely stolen my life from me. I never thought I would ever be in a position like this, it is literal hell. I contemplate suicide often, though not as much as I used to when it began, but still.

Recently I decided to begin the protocol, I did a 7 day juice feast and actually noticed that my thoughts cleared up a bit. I felt pretty good coming out of it, the only issue is that I struggle with alcohol addiction, and for some reason red wine makes me feel better for a few days (anything else makes me crash), so I think I have ruined my progress because I relapsed several times since my juice feast just a couple weeks ago, (don't judge, pathetic I know).

So now, I plan on doing a water fast in the next week or so, then really doing this thing full force. I thought I would reach out to this community because god knows I need it. I don't know where I'd be having not found this community.

Finally, not all days have been bad. Yeah, I've been stuck in a constant brain fog for 4 months, I've felt the anxiety and derealization most of the time, but there have been good days, and I have learned a lot from this already. I believe there is a cure, and I'm not going to quit. Thanks for reading this if you did.

Hey man, sounds like you got it rough, really sorry to hear.. As everyone says - Stick to the protocol, and you'll be free!