Quote Originally Posted by xxaleksi View Post
happy to report another upswing. i'm having days where my aggression and drive to succeed in life are pretty much back. also i find myself getting mad at things again which is refreshing after being completely apathetic for so long. also libido and dick numbness fluctuate from bad to decent. though in the grand scheme of things the thing i care the least about is sexual. give me a good mental state and i'll be happy like im recovered lol.

one thing i have a problem with though is OCD-ness about following the protocol. seeing as the protocol is pretty much routine for me now, it doesn't feel like i'm "following a protocol to beat pfs". i just feel like i'm living normal life. so i keep constantly checking the quick start guide on TMO to make sure i'm doing everything everyday. sucks but just gotta trust the process lol.
I struggled with this as well - and it's a good struggle. I attribute this to my recovery being within two years. I only slipped up and drank a few times, was rigorous with no gluten and diet, worked out religiously, sprinted, cold showers, etc..... and again, I credit this to making my journey relatively simple. However, near the end (say, around 90% back) - it got bad. I would literally decide to have a drink and then BOOM massive anxiety and doubt crept into my mind.....no matter if it had ill effect or not. Separating from that is hard, and you don't want to entirely - a lot of that doubt will help you maintain good health the rest of your life.....but you've got to adapt back to normality a little bit or else you're never truly "back".