Quote Originally Posted by jimmyjonas View Post
Hi Guys,

I’m checking in with an update and also wanted to wish all of you a very happy Christmas.

I’ve been doing really good, just for total clarity I’m going to outline my symptoms as I was a little vague when I started here and I do think this helps guys starting to see exact symptoms and also to prove that they are not permanent

Took Fin for less than a week in October 2016, on fourth day I woke up to find my genitals completely numb, That was just the beginning of the shit storm, I suffered severe anxiety/depression after this and bouts of insomnia over the next number of months, the longest I went without sleep was approx four days, but most often i might sleep an hour or two a night for a good five months. I felt permanently spaced out. I lost weight rapidly and face went gaunt, I also began to notice my penis curve to left and become narrower and shorter, I wasn’t able to have sex and trying to get turned was just not working. I became suicidal and rang hotlines a number of times looking for help and also tried to place myself in a mental health facility, I then attempted suicide with vodka and some pills, not enough to kill myself but i passed out at a riverbank and thankfully woke up, I am ashamed of this as life is a great gift and I very nearly threw it away, but I just didn’t want to live like that anymore, like half a man. I clearly remember the night I did it, it was after reading posts on PH and one that Mew had previously posted, one of his scary scientific ones, you know the usual sides are permanent etc and we’ve found the enzyme in the rat has been permanently down modulated or whatever the fuck! you guys know what I’m talking about there, i’m not good with the science of this and frankly it always scared the shit out of me and I just said fuck this, enough, I am doomed. That is why I hate PH so much. I almost lost my life over it.

Following this, things didn't get better, i tried uros, shrinks, endos, none could help me, endo was good but gave me more spritual guidance, i do remember him saying my pulse was through the roof yet I appeared very calm, I said this is what its been like for months basically a four/five month long panic attack. I had seen the odd post on ph and solve pfs about cd and I joined up but I was still extremely fucked up and not helping myself by logging into the other forums.

I have been consistently on the program since May of this year minus prohormones and my current symptoms are

Sensitivity on penis shaft - much better
Weight- stable and healthy
Sleep - 7 hours a night
Libido - much better, not raging but I had zero for 6/7 months and slowly but surely has crept back, I want to have sex again and can.

The only lingering symptoms I have are curvature and slight size/girth loss. I am totally cool about them because I get that these take time and I've researched ED sites so I’m going to incorporate some training to straighten out the auld Junk!

The most important aspect of CDs method in my opinion is positivity, I really do, if that isn’t right forget any treatments.

One very interesting observation I have made is earlier in the week when that rat posted all that shit about cd I went back and logged into PH, immediately my anxiety went up, heart rate went up and interestingly I started getting bad Ball Ache whilst reading the posts fucking weird I know but true, its like our bodies hold onto stress which then manifests as a physical symptom, that night I also couldn’t sleep, so it’s no surprise if you are logging in there daily your not going to be feeling good. I really think this aspect of PFS is huge and overlooked or not a comfortable topic for the admins at PH. I do plan on posting on PH and Solve PFS when I fully recover as it’s important that new guys hear this and there are a lot of good guys there too who tried to help me in the beginning, now is not just the right time for that.

So looking ahead I see myself being fully recovered by summer 2018, that’s my goal and then go on a holiday to the states, I love traveling and the U.S is my favorite country to visit, I’ve been many times so it will be a great reward to myself at the end of this PFS bollox!

I again want to express my thanks to CD and to all you guys, your posts are like therapy, I do love it here. So positive and great information from kind helpful dudes. I know some criticize CD for being harsh at times however I think he is correct in his approach, a tough love approach, if the site started getting into ‘’oh yeah me too i have bad water weight too my god how terrible we’re doomed instead of saying get your fucking ass to the fucking gym, ha etc etc the site would quickly descend into anarchy. It’s important that here continues this way as it’s a lifesaver, it really is and the negativity is a cancer that must be stomped out.

Happy Christmas brothers, I plan to log out here until the new year and wish you all the absolute best in your road to recovery

Peace

Jimmy
congratz on your improvements. please reply to PMs.