Quote Originally Posted by wetaka View Post
I must inform to you fellas that I have officially crashed. It feels terrible. My symptoms of anhedonia have really kicked in to a big extent, feeling like a zombie right now. I've been trying to explain to my parents what exactly has been going on in regards to this condition and today they have finally believed me, mainly because I explained to them what's this condition really about, plus I got in contact with a PFS sufferer who explained to my Dad on call this whole messy situation.

Thank god i arranged all this to happen. This wednesday we went to a "doctor" who apparently has treated PFS beforehand and the only things he prescribed was fluvoxamine, lamotrigine, L acetylcarnitine and some vitamin shots. He was a psychiatrist.
Even tho my parents support me in all of this, I have this fervient desire of ending my life right now. I feel so guilty on letting my vanity overshadow more important aspects of my life. Now I'm a living potato, who struggles to even speak.
I don't want to sound like the avarege propecia help user, but fuck man.....this is rough.
I've been wondering several times if there's a hell or a heaven. Technically speaking, I would be wrong in killing myself if you take into account the great luck that I was given, the great fact that I was born a Human being and not a tiny insect. A creature with a lot of potential. But at the same time, maybe I deserve to die. Maybe things were just not meant to be, or maybe they were, but due to my ignorance, i didn't follow the right things.


I have lost into a great extent the greatest gift human beings have: Language.
Aside of my family, which has been pathological in the past in many ways, I don't have many friends or contacts. Years and years of using omegle as a substitute for real human contact and warmth has left me, in many ways, friendless.
I just have one friend left. A friend who I've known since I was 5 years old. We have a lot of things in common, of course, but now that I'm just a shell of my old self, I don't know how to connect with him or even people anymore.
All that my focus goes to right now is PFS related. Even If i wanted to unwind a little bit, my anhedonia unables me to watch a movie fully or to just enjoy music.
All my interests and passions are gone. The rampant interest that I felt everytime i discovered something new or had an interesting conversation with a stranger is long gone.
Before my father talked to the guy which I said before, he had told me that If i had a crash he would send me to a psych ward. Yeah.


I'm not even sure if I'm worthy to recover, if i have the necessary personality traits to overcome this. I've seen a lot of recoveries on this site and all of them, aside of the protocols they followed, seem like admirable people: Marines, Businessmen, Men with families or even avarege joes with a job. I'm neither of those things. I'm just a guy from South america that graduated at 19 from Highschool via Nightschool. Someone who has never been intimate with someone before. Someone that doesn't have enough good memories on his mind to recall for this bad times that are happening.
The slight thought of me becoming corrupted by this Syndrome and being transformed into just a shell of my old self haunts me to no end.
Post finasteride syndrome in a way is really similar to Kafkas metamorphosis.

First off, we all know where your are. It is devastating...

But you need to shift your mind & be grateful that you have the information needed to recover. That alone is big & very overlooked in the PFS community..There are guys who have had this condition for a decade before even finding out what was really wrong with them, imagine that. Imagine crashing in 1999 or something. I’ll tell you right now if this happened to me during those days I’d be dead, feeling like how I did with no direction, no way I could’ve pushed through all those years like that .. I hate to admit it, cause I like to think of myself as pretty strong minded.

The cold hard truth is that you have no choice but to start the protocol, & living in regret is the easy thing to do, but it does NOTHING..Just dive in 100%, you have nothing to lose , everything to gain.. this is how I thought when I first crashed. I knew that for like 6 months I had to cut everyone off & separate myself just to get to the point where it’s livable.

& don’t be afraid of uncomfortable moments in the journey, easier said than done but try your best to just embrace all the ebbs & flows.

& dude your around my age, Time is on our side.. I’m using this time to get better of course but also get better financially & find a way to get my own place. My life does not stop cause of this...Use the time as best as possible. & don’t make PFS this big thing that runs a dark cloud over you.., it sucks..but it’s something that can be overcome. Its simply the protocol done consistently over time without wavering.... I get it.. it’s just that when your going through the stuff and not feeling optimal, it feels like it’s forever. Many guys cure themselves less than 5 years.. 5 years seems long but it’s a blip in the grand scheme of things.. & I’m being very very pessimistic in saying 5 years, the difficult cases on this regimen seem to cure themselves in 2.5-3 years..

Scientifically speaking the program hits every bodily system.. herbs, diet, & supplements are giving your body all the nutrients it needs to heal while limiting allergies and inflammation (you still will go through the symptoms though).. the T boosting herbs also help with the gut, liver, adrenals etc.. the benefits of exercising we all know.. cold showers do a ton of things.. meditation puts you at a less stressed state that aids in healing ... then with all these coming together, prohormones speed up the healing process, same way an athlete would use steroids to heal from an injury faster.. & still this whole thing takes long.. you gotta accept it and just get to work ASAP..

& lastly, I and others can tell you everything but this is something that you just have to experience yourself to truly understand & figure out how to navigate through.. CD told me at first not to worry & if you look at plenty of my old messages I still ended up worrying & crying here like a bitch, & I still might in the future who knows.. the key is that you just can never get off protocol or do anything stupid like drink or do drugs.. keep on stepping. One foot after the other


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