I'm A Fraud.....

[BoneDaddy]

fraud is a little harsh bro, we all have ups and downs. That's just life and sometimes things get away from you but you can allways take control back.

You need support, you have it here, you got a crew.... it may be an online one but that's all I got and I'm doing ok. I havn't had a drink in 14 months, you wanna talk about it I got the unlimited plan on my cell I'll pm you my number, we could talk for hours.

You can self destruct or live life like it's ment to be lived. Self destructing does feel good at times but living life lasts a whole lot longer. I highly reccomend living.

Thanks bro, I knew this is the place I could go to. Self destruction; over.

Bro, stop drinking now. You don't need alcohol, all it will do is make everything worse.

Maybe try some psychedelics if you really want to open up the hidden portions of what's ailing you.


But you can't just sit around drinking or all you will do is literally destroy your life. So forget it. Sorry about your friend, but think about how much he might look down on what you've become.

Good luck buddy

Funny you mention that.....I saw his wife a few weeks ago and she told me he'd probably kick my ass if he were here...lol It's funny, but damn it stung. Psychedelics, eh? I'm skeered.....:-)

XXIV said it pretty well in my book...... Sorry to hear that your going through some shit but I bet we all have, different areas but we have all been through hell one way or another.
Ive gone down the road your going down. It wasnt until a friend called me a puss for not facing life that I decided to do just that and face it. Its harder than drinking it away but man is it 10000x more rewarding.
Keep your head up, look for those small positives that happen everyday.

Thanks dude, and you're absolutely right. I've taken the easy road through all of this and I deserve the punishment that's about to follow. Head up and forward!

Much respect for sharing the stuff that is easier not to.

One thing you said resonated with me... the gym being the best therapy around. I understand this quite well. In fact, I had been away from the gym for 10 years while I was concentrating on business ventures.

When the economy and financing industry crashed, I lost close to a million bucks and was in a monthly financial bleed, owing thousands more than I was bringing in each month. I was stressed and depressed and just wanted to run away, because facing the reality of it was horrible.

And I finally went back to the gym about 4 years ago. Did it solve all my problems? No. Did I feel a little better with each workout? Absolutely. The endorphins I got at the gym helped the stress and depression. And it gave me something to ground me, stabilize me, for the first time in ages.

I share all this to say "you're not alone". Lots of us have had some pretty crappy things happen in life. I don't say that to take anything away from your situation, because it's serious. But it's not a life sentence. And you can work through this.

Damn, that's a lot to lose and go through! You're absolutely right about the gym though, even though I couldn't tell you what it looks like today since I haven't been in forever. HOWEVER, I got up early this morning and brought my gear to work. Going straight to the gym after work even if it's just cardio. SOMETHING is happening today, period.

Props on opening up man, you know were all here for you.
Your using alcohol to support you and make u feel better. You needa put your focus into something that will actually make u feel better and not just cover up the things your going though.
I know it's hard but it's just a mental barrier you needa break.
If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to hit me up.


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That's just it....at this point it's such a mental thing. To break out of this 'lifestyle' I've created and to start another one. Consistency will help with that, I've just gotta break through, ya know? Let's see......

Hey man if you need anyone to talk to PM me and I'll send you my number.

I know what your going threw because I've gone threw a bunch this year too.

Thanks Scope, I may just do that. Stay on my ass, contest entry is coming, I promise.

Depression and self loathing is horrible, I deal with it a lot. Alcohol has been an escape before, but luckily I've been able to deal with it before it got out of hand.

That being said, its time to move on. Shit happens, but you can't let everything hold you down. Busting your ass in the gym will be a huge help.

Alcohol + no gym = bad
No alcohol + gym = amazing

Word, Big Bird. It sucks indeed and it's soooo hard to escape from. I've always sucked at math, but I really like your formulas! lol

BoneD

¿Qué pasa hombre?

I agree with a lot of what Burly said but to be honest with you the gym keeps me super sane. Nothing else compares. So no it doesn't solve all your problems but helps to clear the mind. So get your 255 lb beer drinking ass back into the gym ASAP. And take this one step at a time brother. Don't get all crazy and try to start cooking meals and eating perfect. Just cut out the beer/booze, try to clean up the diet a bit, and hit the gym super hard. Once you find your groove you can start to nail down the diet. No excuses now man! You laid it all on the table so make it happen.

I LOLed at "So get your 255 lb beer drinking ass back into the gym ASAP" Not sure I was supposed to, but I did. :-) I think the part about not going crazy and trying to do everything all at once, the cooking, eating perfect and all is a great idea. Baby steps. No alcohol. Go workout. Start some supps ( at this point, what protocol though....*shrugs*).....and I think/hope the rest will just fall in. Routine, man.....I probably need routine. No excuses.

True man to open up and seek betterment instead of victimizing one-self, brother. you're no fraud. Rough patch, is all.

Do get away from alcohol though, seems to be unhealthy. And to disagree with weekend, don't substitute it with other substances. Stay healthy, clear and sound of mind so that you get a full picture of specific situation.

On more practical terms: Find a competition coach and do a NPC show. It's amazing what a goal in your sights can do to help you control things around you.

Thanks for the words, Lima. A competition coach and a NPC show? Are you out of your mind?!

So....how much is a competition coach? :-)

I woke up feeling pretty good about everything this morning. The post seems to be even more cathartic than I initially thought. 1 thing that's really going to stick out is I have gotten away from eating breakfast, but I know how important it is. This morning I did pop some ephedra and caffeine to stop the awful mid morning munching I've been doing. Baby steps. Thanks for the replies and post fellas, it really means a lot.