Bad news. I want my log to reflect my journey so letsgo.

Got overzealous on Monday and rubbed one out , and 2 days later and I still feel like absolute shit; anxiety, anhedonia and suicidal thoughts are back. Can't believe 1 pill wrecked my sexuality, personnality and sanity. Lockdown is being lifted here and it makes me feel even more abnormal. Started a new law internship and I don't give a shit, I focus on my tinnitus allday long. Normally I love starting a new job and meeting people.

But this downswing is all my fault. From now on, I am going on the ultimate Nofap. 50 years from now, people will be talking about Outlaw's legendary no fap. I am keeping every ounce inside until my balls are tickling my ankles.

Even if I'm in a big downswing, I am still confident I will recover mentally and sexually. The only doubt killing me is the tinnitu. Turnover said his 1st cycle killed his, I really hope it does the same for me. It got fairly lower for 2 weeks in March but it never completely left. I can always hear it during the day no matter what I do. I also have intermittent cracking ear canal and crunching noises when I move my jaw sideways. I am beyond scared it might never leave.