Quote Originally Posted by Thetfordboy View Post
Thank you, I don't smoke, drink or do drugs but my problem was always binge and restrict cycles so food was always something I turned to in times of hardship.

I am currently taking time off work due to the stress of this all and staying with my parents back in my native Ireland as my mental health had deteriorated even further the last few days and I was getting pulled at work over bad performance. I am really finding this all very hard to deal with and often get paralysed with fear. I plan to eat normally until next week and then do the 7 day water fast and start again. What threw me off is that I did the 9 day juice fast and put in such effort and then when I realised I'd done it wrong my whole fragile mind snapped.

To me my biggest fear/psychological issue is my ed and loss of libido, my libido has totally gone again and ed has returned firmly and it feels like anti freeze is on my penis and I can't describe how psychologically that affects me. It's like I can't walk or move my arms and it just terrifies me. It just really scares me, I have started getting panic attacks-I never had these before. Even on the plane home last night, I had one and the staff had to move me. I don't understand what is happening.
Well, my friend, you are among similar company here. I dont think theres one user on this forum who didnt experience recurring panic attacks and crippling anxiety at the beginning of their journey.
Go and read through my introductory post in the introduce yourself sticky as well as my recovery log. I was in a nearly identical position as you. I will tell you for sure that when I wrote that introductory post I was a lot more stressed out and scared than it seems just by reading the post.
What you have here in this forum is a priceless accumulation of many peoples' experiences while working through the same situation you find yourself in. You will find we geberally all started out where you are, and most or all of us that have stuck with the healing protocol laid out on totalmaleoptimization.com have made totally dramatic improvements and/or have been healed. If it helps you any, I'm only nearing 3 months on the protocol myself, and Im enjoying life like I havent in years. Aside from sexually, I feel better in every facet of my being than I did prior to getting PFS. Sexually, I am making leaps and bounds towards recovery since beginning the protocol. Prior to that, things felt like they were stuck in the mud, moving at such a slow pace that I'm not even sure I would have gotten to where I am now in 5 years. I regularly have days where I'm 95% normal now. This will eventually stick and I'll be healed. Until then, I'm enjoying the fuck out of life, getting out in the sun, exercising, cleaning and repairing my body and getting it into top shape.
Be careful with the stress, as it throws your hormones further out of whack. As cortisol rises (which it does when stressed), testosterone lowers, and your desired goal of male health is pushed further away from you. You have to forget about the PFS worries, implement the TMO lifestyle changes at whatever pace is comfortable for you financially or physically or mentally, and just focus on the here and now as you slowly but surely bring your body back to, and beyond, your previous state of health and sexual function.