Quote Originally Posted by basementdweller View Post
It's been 2.5 months since I crashed....again and I'm doing terrible. I don't understand how this can happen well after two YEARS of rocky, but solid improvement. What's really scaring me is that what I'm going through now is different. I am so unbelievably exhausted, depressed and anhedonic, I can't do shit. Oddly, my sexual symptoms and anxiety haven't worsened. Maybe it's not quite as bad as my initial crashes if I consider that, but the crushing fact that this can happen after so long makes it worse. Someone please reach out, cause these suicide forums aren't doing me much good, and my shrink is just itching to put me on all kinds of antidepressants
HANG IN THERE BUD! I know it sucks but this shit can make a year feel like it lasts 500 years. Its a 2 step forward and 1.99 steps back. And sometimes its 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. I dont know why that is. I wish I could explain it to myself sometimes. For instance I was killing it for about 4 weeks there. I was thinking I was getting close to possibly making a recovery post at some point. Then all of a sudden I had a couple steps back then back and back and back and today I had a terrible day. Just felt week all over and my depression was killing me and head hurt and all these mental symptoms I hadn't felt in a while came back to torment me. Its completely unexplainable. The body is definitely a mysterious little shitter. But I know I will come out of it and be stronger on the other side. Just stick to your guns. Keep following protocol. Keep eating healthy and make your workouts harder and longer. I mean thats all we can do. Knowing when you lay your head down at night you did everything you could do that day to improve your situation. Keep on it!